Sacred Shadow, Sacred Ground: A Vietnam War Widow's Journey Through Unresolved Grief

By Glenda M. Carter

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• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0976228904
• ISBN13: 9780976228905
• Release Date: January 2004
• Publisher: Two Rainbows Pub
• Length: 188 Pages
• Weight: 0.75 lbs.
• Dimensions: 8.3" x 0.5" x 5.3"

Customer Reviews

Wise lessons of healing

As a widow of war, I cannot imagine putting my innermost feelings of grief out there for the public to read. Glenda has courageously done exactly that to help other widows of war feel less alone. Glenda takes her readers from war through the eyes of a young widow, to families torn apart by combat PTSD, to the consequences and lessons learned from unresolved grief. Sacred Shadow, Sacred Ground made me realize that my feelings of despair, loneliness, and sorrow are not only completely normal, but also emotions that I must acknowledge and accept in order to heal. Because she chose to share her personal experience, I since have been able to share my own story with others and to feel my courage slowly coming back. Thank you, Glenda, for having the courage to share your story and for leaving such an important and beautiful legacy for Bruce. Sincerely, Jocelyn Mintzlaff, wife of SSG Brian Mintzlaff, KIA 12.18.06

A Healing Book for Widows

When I first received your book in the mail there was definite hesitation being a widow myself. Hesitation due to what I might not be ready to handle or think about. From the first page on I was sucked in. You wrote in such a way that I felt as if I was reading the words stuck in mind that I was unable to get out. The first chapter alone made me smile, cry, nostalgic and be proud to be a widow of a hero. Your journey and candidness showed me that it is normal to feel what I am feeling, to be happy to have had the love that Michael showed me, and that bravery has always been there to help me through. There are so many facets to this book. From covering the attack and the soldiers involved to PTSD, Glenda has started a path for the widows of the past and present. She has taught me to not be afraid, to take the love our soldiers blessed us with to get us through the moments when we want to give up. I have known her and her story for only a couple of months now, but already consider her a very great friend and an inspiration that has helped me through many trying times. She has helped turn the flashlight on in the dark tunnel of grief I am walking through. Thank you for your story. Thank you for your courage. Thank you for helping me want to live another day. Thank you for being a mentor as I try to take Michael's love and do something as great with it as you did with Bruce's. Taryn Davis, wife of Cpl. Michael W. Davis KIA 5.21.07 "I do believe that when we face challenges in life that are far beyond our own power, it's an opportunity to build on our faith, inner strength, and courage. I've learned that how we face challenges plays a big role in the outcome of them." -Sasha Azevedo

A gift of a book with some wise lessons....

While the book is written by a Vietnam war widow, it also has some invaluable lessons for any widow who has suffered a loss, and has for whatever reason found it hard if not impossible to make peace and move on. How many of us have a box with items, be it letters, trinkets etc., tucked away that we are afraid to open for fear of entering a sad word that we may never come back from? I was struck by the authors original thought to use a pen name, because I know so many widows with wisdom to share, who would do the same, simply because the lessons we have learned are often so horrid, sad, unusual that we fear bringing more grief upon ourselves by allowing others to know its from us that these thoughts and memories come from. Also appreciate the author writing about widows and others who suffer from post traumatic shock, which is something so many people assume happens to those actually physically injured in some accident or war. Same with the issue of suicide. I often wonder as do widow friends of mine, what people would really, really, really think if they knew that the pain was so real and raw, that we considered suicide. Even after one, five, ten or more years widows tell me that they have days when the sadness and pain is so real it is a thought they consider. Often because they feel invisible or because family and friends assume they have 'moved on'. Unless you have been there its hard to understand I guess.....

A Vietnam War Widow's Emotional Journey of the Spirit

The impact of losing your husband in a war is not something that you can just get over and move on with. There is a grieving process and for those young widows from the Vietnam War who got little to nothing from their communities for support - the process was never allowed to develop. In her personal memoir, "Sacred Shadow, Sacred Ground," author Glenda M. Carter shares with us her grief, hurts, anger and eventual depression that followed her throughout her life. Glenda became a war widow as a teenager after just three months of marriage. The death in Vietnam to her husband Bruce on September 11, 1968, also took a part of her own soul with it. Like most all the widows in the Vietnam War era, she never got any grief counseling or emotional support from her country. Much like Vietnam veterans themselves, she was outside the borders of this nations love and acceptance. Unlike WWII veterans and widows, this country did not choose to acknowledge or extend kindnesses to those who fought there or those who died there. So Glenda suffered for the most part of her life isolated and alone trying to deal with the issues surrounding the loss of her husband. The book takes us on a journey of emotional and spiritual discovery as Glenda writes a gripping account of what she was feeling and going through. She reaches out for the meaning of life and through a series of epiphanies and events that seem almost spiritually timed for her own understanding; she evolves and gains insights into her life and its meaning. The book shows the author's vulnerability through her intimate and compelling telling of how she coped with Bruce's death. The book could be an insightful and useful tool for other widows trying to cope and deal with these issues. The pain of losing a loved one in any war is a universal emotional experience for which she gives it a personal face. The book mixes in some short bios and information on those who were killed in that same ambush with Bruce. It makes the book more than just a widow's tale and more like a requiem for those who fought and died with her husband that night in Vietnam. There is some insightfully strong poetry included, as well, as a great introduction by Laura Palmer, the author of Shrapnel in the Heart. Book is a must read for all those who lost somebody in a war. It will not be an easy read as you will need a box or two of Kleenex tissues to get through it.

This is a well-written enlightening book!

Glenda began writing her book about a box that she had held onto all these years. The box still contained Bruce's belongings that were shipped to her from Vietnam following his death. It was finally time for her "to deal with the loss of Bruce." She searched the Internet for widow groups to get involved with to help her along this path and it has helped her. She not only met other widows but also some Marines who knew Bruce. She wrote about finding Pauline Laurent's book "Grief Denied" and how it made her feel. Glenda soon realized that she had PTSD as did some of her friends whose husbands had returned home from the war. She finally began to heal herself. Glenda tracked down some of the surviving men from Bruce's unit. Eugene Caster described for her the scene where Bruce and six other Marines were ambushed. She began to piece together that part of his life while healing herself. Although Glenda had selected the title for this book long before connecting with Eugene--she soon realized her title was due to the "sacred ground" on which those men died without knowing it at the time. Likewise, the "sacred shadow" was the part of her that had covered her pain. She soon began to see that she was a messenger to help others! This book was one woman's way to deal with her loss and I'm glad Glenda wrote it. She has been able to pick up the pieces of her life and go forward. She still feels Bruce's spirit with her but she is no longer sad. Glenda shared a lot throughout her book and now she is helping others who read it to heal. Well Done Glenda!