Retail Hell: How I Sold My Soul to the Store: Confessions of a Tortured Sales Associate

by Freeman Hall

Book Overview

From Act I: "I think you left these behind," I said, handing them to her. This happens all the time when women try to return bags they've used. Tampons, lipstick, coins, Tic Tacs, and condoms are the... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1440505772
• ISBN13: 9781440505775
• Release Date: October 2010
• Publisher: Adams Media Corporation
• Length: 274 Pages
• Weight: 0.75 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 5.5" x 8.3"

Customer Reviews

Greasy Hobbits and others

Just the perfect book to sit back and laugh. Anyone who has ever shopped or sold will enjoy this book. Especially if you have ever ended up buying someone else's dirty little return.

Someone, please, make a movie of this!

I've only been a retail slave for a little over three years, but this book is great for making me laugh and feel Life could be worse. At least we don't have to climb 8 flights of stairs to get into our building! I clear fitting rooms and do recovery but wouldn't last a week on the register! I've seen many similar incidents in my store and wish all consumers would walk at least vicariously in our poor store-worn shoes. I find myself sometimes silently cursing bad customers: "May you and your children and your children's children to the fifth generation all have to work in retail!" I also secretly bless the good ones, about 98 per cent of the clientele, "May you and yours NEVER have to work retail!"

Funny, and Tragic

Freeman Hall spent 15 years as a handbag (not 'purse') salesperson at Nordstrom's. His "Retail Hell" summarizes those years in a funny and undoubtedly accurate manner - bosses, co-workers, and customers, as well as the orientation rituals aer covered. He originally got into retail sales following his father and grandfather; coveting the employee discount and time to write his dreamed-of "Million-Dollar Screenplay" were other factors. Handbags, however, were not his choice - being gay, Hall tells us his preference was 'measuring trouser inseams," but there were no openings and the store wanted to try a male in the handbag department. The book opens with a customer demanding a last minute of the day return of an obviously used $2,000 handbag by a 'customer' that Freeman remembers is not the one who bought it. On the other side, however, he's pressed by customer-service focused manager that directs him to accept the return, which also docks his commissions. Unfortunately, this farce is repeated a number of times throughout the book, cheating both the salespeople and the store. Then Hall flashes back to his first day on the job - orientation. Loads of corporate H.R. baloney (eg. emphasizing "How key," "How important employees are," all the while one realizes from other presentations on rules that you're expendable, disposable, and replaceable. The conflict is most obvious between the Employee Handbook (1 rule - You're in Charge), vs. the reality that there is a long list of expectations that must be met - else termination. Then it's onto the sales floor the next day, learning handbag lingo (Lesson One: They're 'handbags,' not 'purses'), studying the Handbag Guide, and trying to also understand the various handbag materials - all while answering the phone, dealing with more returns, serving customers at the counter, etc. Then we read of the ongoing conflict between the 'Demon Squad' (fellow salespeople who steal sales from others) and the 'Handbag Angels' that are honest and helpful. Hall likens the conflict between salespeople at times to scenes out of a war movie. Morning pep rallies are another topic - lots of cheers (never loud enough), speeches about smiles, etc.; I though only Wal-Mart had those crazy get-togethers! Hall also had his most memorable customers, aside from the thieves continually 'returning' merchandise. These included one super-customer buying thousands of dollars of merchandise at a time, a 'stalker' who continually called on the phone wanting answers to detailed questions and special help but never coming in to buy, and the 'lookey-loos' who also wasted time. Near the end of "Retail Hell" Hall is warned by management that his sales were below target for two months (he contends due to fraudulent returns), then one month later he is selected for the quarterly Service Superstar Award for having the most complementary letters in the store written about him. (Makes you suspect, like W. Edwards Deming pointed out decades e

Simply Hilarious!

Hilarious! Retail Hell is a quick fun read, this author has a great talent for writing dark humor and is laugh out loud funny. If you are a retail slave now, or have ever been a retail slave, you will really enjoy Retail Hell.

hilarious book

What a hilarious and witty book. This book is for everyone. If you've worked in retail - or with the pubic in other arenas, you will laugh knowingly along with the author. If on the other hand, you are prone to retail frenzy, you will want to read Mr. Halls book to see if he was your saleperson and if he accurately depicted your outlandish behavior.