Regret-Free Living: Hope for Past Mistakes and Freedom from Unhealthy Patterns

by Stephen Arterburn

Book Overview

Help for those burdened by broken relationships to make peace with their past in order to move forward to new freedom and do relationships right. This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0764208896
• ISBN13: 9780764208898
• Release Date: May 2011
• Publisher: Bethany House Publishers
• Length: 230 Pages
• Weight: 0.66 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 5.6" x 8.5"

Customer Reviews

Don't Wait One More Day

In Chapter 2 of Regret-Free Living, Mr. Arterburn quotes poet May Angelou who once wrote, "History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again." In the book, Steve urges the reader to step back into the past to analyze past mistakes and learn from personal history how not to repeat the errors and missteps. What has caused your regret? What was your part in the situation? Do you need to grant forgiveness in order to move on? With a voice of experience and his relatable style, Steve is fantastic at thinking up humorous hypothetical situations and sharing very real situations, some positive, many painful, from his own life to show the reader how to avoid living a life of regret, and is careful to give scriptural foundation for his advice. My advice? Make yourself a big, squishy peanut butter and jelly sandwich (you'll know why when you read the book) and get ready to examine your past and make plans to live regret-free in the future. Highly recommended! * Reviewed as a Bethany House Reviewer

The Best Relationship Advice I've Heard

Regret-Free Living, by Stephen Arterburn For many, if not all, of us our greatest desire is to come to the end of our life and declare, "I have NO regrets." Our minds begin to replay all those incidents that brought pain, shame, regret, and also those that made us laugh and produced feelings of happiness. How can we insure that the last days of our lives won't be lived in constant anguish over what could have been? Perhaps that failed marriage, the estranged friendships or strained parent-child relationships. Maybe the career choices that...well, didn't quite measure up to those "world-changing," at least "leaving our mark" declarations we made as teenagers. Stephen Arterburn explores many of these, and more mixed with personal and professional experiences he's witnessed in his adult life. He is tender when needed, yet blunt and honest as well. His book, Regret-Free Living, opens with him sharing one of his greatest regrets and how he dealt with it. Moving from there, he shares the warning signs of unhealthy relationships, then takes his readers--us--on the journey to take responsibility, to embrace our past and who we are, to recognize that though we may have some culpability it does "take two to tango." He shares with us how to know when we should fight for the relationship and how to fight for it in a God-honoring fashion. There also comes a time to pack it in. Then he brings us to the point of healing with forgiveness, both for self and the other; truly loving as God loves us; restoration and making restitution where necessary. What I love most about this book is the abundance of Scripture and Mr. Arterburn's insistence that God must be at the center of our world. He emphatically instructs that "Before you can stand up straight before another person, you have to fall on your knees before God." (p.196) There were various times while reading, I felt as though I was in his office, receiving counsel; looking into the mirror he held before me where I could take an honest look into my life and see clearly for the first time certain areas of my heart that needed redemption and healing. By the close of the book, my soul resonated Mr. Arterburn's sentiments, "...But I know that money can't even begin to make a down payment on what really counts in life. It isn't accruing awards or accolades. It's knowing you're okay with God, that you're pleasing to him, that you're living your life in accordance with his will and desire. "Without that, you have nothing. "Without that you have even worse than nothing. You have regrets." (p.227-228) I'm thankful for Bethany House Publishers for the opportunity to receive this book, without charge, for review. Had I purchased it, I would still be recommending this book to friends and family who may be battling with regrets in their own life.

Regret-Free Living

The older we get and longer we live you learn that everybody has "A Story". At some time in all of our lives we have hurts, tragedies or conflicts that rise up. This book gives us hope from our past mistakes and the freedom to correct unhealthy patterns. I personally have had a situation in my personal life ( Divorce ) that was thrust upon me. Stephen Arterburn gave me CLARITY in this book to the situation and understanding that my wife was incapable of loving and giving due to resentment of a previous hurt in her life that prevented her from connecting with me. I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants closure and peace in there lives.

Self Help Success

As a Christian Counselor, Stephen Arterburn offers help in the area of relationships. His newest book, Regret-Free Living, is a great resource for those with unhealthy relationships. We all have them. Whether it is a co-worker, family member, or spouse, we are involved in a relationship that doesn't feel right. Arterburn begins by discussing the "markers of defective relationships (p. 23)" by helping you identify what it is that is creating the unhealthy patterns in your relationships. Whether it's putting yourself first, secrecy, or resentment to name a few, the reader can put themselves in thought as to what is wrong in their failing relationship. From there, the author helps the reader to admit their mistakes and how to fix the situation. "Living a regret-free life means being honest about everything you did to help create regrets and honest about how you felt when someone else was hurtful to you (p.93)." A person must turn to God for help so that person can be honest and face their mistakes. Sometimes, though, it seems as though the relationship is not getting better. You've tried everything and it's not going forward. "Not all important relationships, however, will transform for the better; sometimes one of the people is simply not willing to do the work. But before you give up, be sure that you do put forth the effort to make that relationship all that it could be (p.98)." Then the author adds, "if it does end, and you can't fix it, then you'll want to know, for the rest of your life, that you did everything you could to make it right (p.99-99). Eventually, you'll just have to "let it go. Recognize when it's over and let it die the natural death it should (p.102). What I like about this book is that the author himself isn't afraid to admit his failures in past relationships. How many self-help books have you read where you have felt as though the author seems as though they are perfect or without fault of their own? But this Christian counselor offers practical advice while admiting his previous failures making it easier to identify and connect to this book. Admittedly, I have relationships of my own that need mending or repairing. This book has helped answer some very important questions I've had in my life in regards to certain relationships. I will definitely keep in on my bookshelf for reference in the future.

Great relationship advice

Steven Arterburn, host of the number one Christian counseling talk show, has heard many people talk about their regrets. His latest book talks about how he personally found his way out of shame and regret over some bad choices he made in life, and how we can all live regret-free. Regret-Free Living shows the reader how to unload all of the bad feelings and thoughts that come from keeping shame bottled up on the inside. The book does not suggest a "feel good" philosophy but rather teaches us that we are to accept responsibility for our actions and work on changing ourselves, with God's grace, mercy and help. Steven talks about the signs of unhealthy relationships (resentment, animosity, secrecy, selfishness, etc) and how recognizing these signs, can help us face the reality of what we need to change. Steven is clear to point out that "regret-free" living cannot be accomplished without first and foremost putting our hope and trust in God. My favorite chapter was Chapter 6, which offers the six qualities necessary for a happy, regret-free relationship. All of the information and advice in this book can be applied to every aspect of life from marriage and parenting to co-workers and business relationships. All throughout the book, Steven uses the truth of God's Word and scriptures to validate and support his points and advice. ***** The person who commented above me wasn't sure which Bible translations were being used in this book. The scriptures quoted are taken from the New Living Translation and the New International Version.