Raising Unselfish Children in a Self-Absorbed World

by Jill Rigby

Book Overview

Child expert Jill Rigby reveals the dangers of the self-esteem parenting philosophy and offers an alternative approach that teaches children to respect both themselves and others.

After decades of experimenting with child-focused parenting, parents are beginning to realize that the result is often self-centered children who tend toward narcissism, selfishness, mediocrity, and dysfunction. Rigby espouses a new goal of parenting: gently...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 141655842X
• ISBN13: 9781416558422
• Release Date: April 2008
• Publisher: Howard Books
• Length: 288 Pages
• Weight: 0.70 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 6.5" x 9.0"

Customer Reviews

Wonderful and Practical

This book is so well written and such a quick read. Selfishness is such an inherent part of our human nature and something that we allow to run rampant in our lives. I loved that the book not only made me think of things I want to change as we raise our children, but also made me examine my own heart and start each day with a prayer for the selfishness to be taken out of me. So many actions are fueled by selfishness, right down to me not wanting to get off the couch when I am reading to help my children. It has caused me to examine my motives so much. Then the author provides examples of things to do with your children, which are so practical, and she breaks them down by age group, which is so helpful! I highly recommend this book. I just have a borrowed copy from the library and would like to get one of my own to reread and for reference as my children grow!

Parents looking to protect and guard their children from a culture of excess will applaud Rigby's ef

If only kids came with instruction manuals! That's the heart cry of many parents who are struggling to navigate the world of raising children. Living in our modern culture only compounds the complexities as parents are forced to make thousands of little decisions to determine "How much is enough?" versus "How much is too much?" while raising their kids. Jill Rigby tries to assist parents in her new book, RAISING UNSELFISH CHILDREN IN A SELF-ABSORBED WORLD, which attempts to equip them with tactics to help deal with the narcissism and selfishness prevalent in our society. She begins by reassessing the goal of parenting and challenging moms and dads to think about how they're raising their kids and what they want them to become. Drawing on timeless childhood stories like SNOW WHITE and THE SECRET GARDEN, she argues that parents have a choice to make. Will they raise their kids to become selfless grown-ups, or self-absorbed adults who can't function well because they feel entitled? In today's culture of excess, the change must begin at the heart level, with the parent. She invites readers to make an honest assessment of their own self-centeredness, offering a "Generosity Quotient Test" to help you determine your own level of generosity. Then she challenges parents to devise a plan. Simple things like committing to God to raise your children to be other-centered rather than self-centered, committing to live with less to enjoy more, committing to tithe and committing to enjoy family togetherness are a few of the promises she encourages parents to make. To fulfill these commitments, Rigby advises them to get into God's world, live with integrity and walk out their faith every day. Rigby distinguishes between needs and wants of children, highlighting the importance of not giving into a child's every whim. She says that it's important to maintain control of your child and not overwhelm him or her with options. While many psychologists emphasize the importance of self-esteem, Rigby argues that it's much more important to have God-confidence and walk in gratitude and humility. Throughout the book, Rigby highlights her teachings with statistics and anecdotes. While many of the stories are compelling, far too few are drawn from her own experiences as a mother, leaving the reader to wonder how she handled this issue and what she learned from her mistakes. Despite this lack of personal touch and vulnerability, the book offers time-tested principles on how to raise children to be outwardly focused and confident in who they are as individuals. While the first few chapters seem disjointed --- with scriptures thrown in without any directed analysis or tie-in --- the book gets better with each passing chapter. The appendix includes helpful resources, including a brief listing of movies great for family discussion as well as a list of state family policy councils to help you connect with government officials. For parents concerned with indecent storefront disp

The best parenting book ever!

If you have children or plan on having children in the future, you must read and re-read this book! It gives detailed priciples and how-tos to train you children from the beginning. One of the biggest principles is that it begins with you as the parent and Jill gives instructions for you. I love how she breaks down the duties/responsiblities for the kids by age. As long as you have children living in your home, this is a must! I just gave a copy at a baby shower this weekend! This is a great way for a couple to plan how they will raise their children before the issues come up and surprise you. I heard about this book from Dr. Laura, thank you Dr. Laura!

Every parent should read!

This is a book every parent raising a child in today's society should read! It has changed the way I intend to raise my son!

New Book for Parents

I just love the books by author Jill Rigby. I heard her once at a Hearts at Home Conference and have been a fan ever since. Her books hit on relevant topics and this one is no different. In this book, Rigby points out that we are raising a generation of self-focused children who aren't ready to meet real life challenges at adults. She's right! But instead of leaving it there, she gives hope - as well as advice - on how we can change our parenting to reshape our child to be "other-foused". Easy to read, relevant, and hopeful, Raising Unselfish Children in a Self-Absorbed World will help you raise your child to become an adult that makes a difference in their world. Kudos to the author!