Raising a Secure Child: Creating Emotional Availability Between Parents and Your Children

by Zeynep Biringen

Book Overview

A new perspective on parenting and connecting with children... Written by the foremost researcher on emotional availability in parent-child relationships, this guide will change the way parents relate... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0399529942
• ISBN13: 9780399529948
• Release Date: July 2004
• Publisher: Perigee Books
• Length: 317 Pages
• Weight: 0.65 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.9" x 6.0" x 8.9"

Customer Reviews

Helpful book

I am just partway through this book but am finding it very helpful, not only in knowing how to relate to children better, but also in detangling troubled relationships with my own parents. I think this book offers good, down-to-Earth advice. One question: at several points in the book the author suggests that "seeing your child as an extension of yourself may be helpful." (See, e.g. p. 56) I was a little troubled by this as it seemed like it could lead parents to engage in narcissistic or controlling behavior and to fail to see the child as having a separate "self." I would welcome more explanation of this from the author.

Very helpful book based in research

When I first started volunteering in my church's nursery, I was somewhat mystified as to how to work with these tiny developing people. I knew cuddling them and reading to them was good, and I knew what kinds of games and activities children at different ages could do. However, I was at a loss as to how to best comfort a tearful child who was clinging to my leg, or how to control a child who had been tantruming for five minutes. As a Human Development and Family Studies major, I had learned about how children developed, but actually learning how to interact with them seemed to be a trial and error type thing I was learning in my volunteer experience. You may have felt that same confusion when working with children as a new parent, or in any occupation that involves children. "Raising a Secure Child" by Dr. Zeynep Biringen brings all that developmental theory and research into the realm of practicality. She summarizes the main points of child development in the first half of the book and explains the two important theories of attachment and emotional availability. Both these theories are used to define the quality of the parent - child interaction. Dr. Biringen has spent much of her career coming up with practical ways to use these theories to help children and their parents become closer to one another. Plus, the findings she had laid out in her book have been confirmed by other researchers in the field of psychology and child development. She has cited many journal articles that she references throughout her book. As I read the book, I learned practical ways to take what I had learned in lecture into my volunteer experience to better connect to the children I worked with. For instance, I learned how to really listen to children and do things that truly met their needs. I also learned how to talk to them so they would respond, and even to gently discipline without making myself appear hostile to them. As parents, teachers, and other child care workers, I know that you would like to learn all these skills as well. "Raising a Secure Child" will lay out these skills and the concepts behind them nicely for you. It uses minimal jargon, and a degree in child development is not needed to understand this book. Helpful advice in the boxes at the bottom of select pages highlights main points of the chapter. Finally, "Raising a Secure Child" is useful in your work with children of any age, and can be applied no matter what family structure your own children or the children you serve come from. There is even a special section for parents who have foster and adopted children. Combining the information in this book with the love and concern you already have for the children in your care will help you create that warm and comforting care environment they will grow and thrive in.

excellent

I would like to pass this out at every Le leche league meeting in the country. unlike the pop psychology "AP" out there which ranges from the guilt inducing to the dangerous, this is the real thing on how to build a relationship with your child. it is a very sad state of affairs that people looking for real outside input on ways to do better than their own parents can only choose between pseudo scientists like William Sears and quasi animal trainers like Gary Ezzo. and a million and one others that offer three or four point programs to "easy discipline". I wish more people would buy this book but because it is rather clinically and "shrinky" they may very well pass it over for more trendy looking tomes. it is such a relief to know, taht unlike what the AP mavens will tell you, you and your child are not "sunk" if you mess up when they are an infant.

A must-have for your parenting library!

If you're a parent, you've probably asked yourself whether you're doing all you can for your child. Some things that might come to mind are: all the sacrifices you're making; all the social activities you've chauffered to; or the amount of time you've spent helping your child with their homework. Most parents want the best for their children and strive to be physically available to them, but many miss out on meeting their child's emotional needs. Children need more than just a homework helper or chauffer to become secure...they need to experience an emotional connection with their parents or guardians. The book, "Raising a Secure Child: Creating an Emotional Connection Between You and Your Child," discusses how parents and other guardians can shape their child's emotional development. The book explains the "parent-child relationship;" teaches parents how to be emotionally available to their child at different stages; and discusses how this connection can affect every aspect of their child's lives. MyParenTime.com highly recommends this book -- being emotionally connected to your child will help them foster better friendships, experience enriching school years, help them make better choices, and overall create a child who is more secure throughout their lives.

Many Great Ideas for Parents, Teachers and Caregivers

This author does a tremendous job of sharing very useful information that is valuable for parents as well as teachers and caregivers. This is a resource that parents of all ages of children would find useful. Examples and stories make the information real and easy reading. Excellent resource to assist adults in strengthening relationships with children---a key for healthy development and successful personal and academic success. The information shared is based on solid scientific research and the authors credentials are impressive.