The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.Reality continues to ruin my life.If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.Things are never quite as scary when you have a best friend.Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.I say, if your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.
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