Pure Desire: How One Man's Triumph Over His Greatest Struggle Can Help Others Break Free

by Ted Roberts

Book Overview

There is a battle going on with millions of victims trapped in the struggle and no apparent way out. Church leaders and pastors are often called in to help, but these leaders don't exactly know what... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0830723358
• ISBN13: 9780830723355
• Release Date: January 1999
• Publisher: Gospel Light Publications
• Length: 256 Pages
• Weight: 0.87 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 5.5" x 8.5"

Customer Reviews

Pure Desire - When You've Come to the End of your Rope.

I'm surprised this book doesn't have more reviews. It's definitely a diamond in the rough! Ted Robers, an ex fighter pilot who fought in Vietnam starts off with a story where his wife recently became a Christian and invited him to their all woman's bible study. They asked him to close in prayer at the end and he had never said a prayer in his life. He gave it his best shot and said, "Lord, whatever the hell You want us to do, we're ready." Ted has since grown in the Lord and pastors a church which helps others break new strides into purity. Before this book, I tried everything to break through into purity... from Every Man's Battle to prayers regarding generational curses... nothing seemed to help. I literally ripped Every Man's Battle in half after getting pissed off at the suggestion to "bounce your eyes" when you see a beautiful woman. The reality is that the majority of the problems we experience are merely symptoms. I purchased Pure Desire and it helps to understand the noose of addiction and that it is not only a spiritual battle, but neurological as well. This book strikes a perfect balance between the psychology of addiction and having breakthrough in the power of the Cross. The book aims at exposing the heart, which is the root of where all of our issues with purity reside. I highly recommend trying to find a small group that hosts Pure Desire and to go through the Seven Pillars of Freedom workbook as a supplemental aid which in my opinion, is actually even better than the book. Some people are good Christians, they pray, read their Bibles, and spend time with God but can't seem to get this part of their lives taken care of. If this is you, I suggest giving it one more try and read this book. The battle is uphill, but the victory of purity is worth it. I'm still trudging up my hill but I see light at the other side.

Read this book NOW if you struggle with sexual addiction!

One of my seminary counseling teachers wanted to make Pure Desire required reading during the Fall 2001 semester, but had read it too late to include it in our class reading list. Her strong recommendation of this book made me want to read it ASAP, and I managed to fit it in between my regular course reading. It was definitely worth the free time I had to sacrifice in order to read it. Suffice to say, Pure Desire is one of the best books on healing sexual addiction that I've ever read. I can say that because I've been able to personally investigate the book's background and apply its truths to my own life, since I live very close to Ted Roberts' church in Gresham, Oregon.In addition to reading the book, I attended Dr. Roberts' three-day Pure Desire Seminar, which is intended for pastors who want to start a ministry for sexual addicts in their own churches. During the seminar, I (and others) directly questioned Dr. Roberts and his staff about their methods, theology, etc. Their answers backed up what I read in the book, and my interaction with them showed me their genuine desire to see people healed from the bondage of sexual addiction. Finally, I visited one of their For Men Only (FMO) sexual addiction healing groups as part of my seminary internship, and I found it so helpful for my own struggles that I have stayed with it for almost nine months and counting.Basically, I have found the methods and ideas presented in the book to actually work in real life. For example, one of the main healing strategies Dr. Roberts advocates is to become part of a small group where men can "confess [their] trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that [they] may be healed (James 4:7)." I have seen a number of men go through the FMO group I attend, and there seem to be two types. First, there are the ones who know they have a problem (usually because they have gotten into trouble due to their addiction), but are not really ready to deal with it. These men tend to stay for awhile, and then leave the group to go back to their addiction. Second, there are the ones who have truly hit bottom and are willing to persevere on the long road to healing. It is these men who are honest with their struggles, and therefore they avoid such traps as rationalizing and compartmentalizing their addiction. Sure, we all take turns with discouragement and despair, and lapses do occur. But when others are there to lovingly bear the burden and provide accountability, it helps us get through the valley and go back up the mountainside. Of all the small groups I've been in over the years, this one has by far been the best for my own personal healing. Therefore, I can vouch firsthand for Dr. Roberts' exhortation to avoid the trap of isolation (which makes it easy to act out) by becoming part of a healthy group situation.I believe that the central theme of Pure Desire is the restoration of healthy, loving, and holy relationships with God, self, and others. Sexual

I can't say enough good things about this book!

When one uses the term "sexual addiction," one must hasten to clarify that the term is not used to excuse sexual sin, but to describe a pattern of sexual misbehavior that persists despite a strong desire for purity. Those who are born again desire to do good, but many become ensnared into a pattern of physical, or at least mental, adultery. Sexual addiction is 1) a state of chemical dependency on the chemicals released in the brain during orgasm 2) a state of being bound by demons 3) a habitual, unchosen method of coping with fundamental problems in one's person. This state can be expressed in persistent patterns of: fantasizing about sex with someone besides one's spouse, masturbation, viewing pornography, extramarital sex, or illegal sexual behavior. The problem of sexual addiction, like other addictions, is worthy of study because the Church's typical answer to addiction does not set people free. In fact, a pastor who preaches and counsels people to try harder and to read their Bible, simply prays for them, or attempts to shame them into purity will reinforce the root of the addiction, not pull it out. Sexual addiction is an out-of-control, ingrained pattern of behavior that is not broken by making promises of abstinence to oneself or by trying harder. Pastor Ted Roberts refers to sexual addiction as a noose because making promises to oneself, or getting prayer for lust to be removed, only makes the guilt stronger, which makes the behavior worse, just as a noose can be tightened by pulling against it. Roberts counsels addicts to seek help so that someone else can cut the noose. The one who cuts the noose is Jesus, but let us be careful not to oversimplify. Because Jesus does not want to remove the humanity inherent in our capacity for intimacy, he does not remove lust. Instead He gives love and forgiveness that heal the root of addiction so that body, soul, and spirit can be aligned under Him. A single person's body must experience three months of chastity, without the flush of chemicals associated with orgasm. His mind must be renewed by learning about how God views him and his problems. His spirit must be washed in the word of God by reading and memorization. The whole person must be healed. Practical, transparent accountability relationships must be established and adhered to, preferably in a small group bible study focussed on sexual addiction. Demonic strongholds must be supernaturally destroyed by spiritual warfare. The reason prayer does not usually solve sexual addiction is because demonic bondage is not the only problem- the other, time-consuming steps listed above must be taken. If we pray for demon influence over a person to be removed, the person can still invite the demon back if he has not learned to stop using sexuality to cope with life.Roberts describes the "addictive mind set" as being unrenewed in the areas of self-esteem, believing one is unlovable and alone, and searching for sexual highs. He describes t

Table of Contents

Section I: A PLACE OF HOPE Chapter 1 -- Dr. Ted Roberts: Sex Expert? (former U.S. Marine pilot and sexual addict turned pastor) Chapter 2 -- Spirituality is Sexy (God created sexuality; our most important sex organ: our mind; seeking group help) Chapter 3 -- When Sex Becomes Sick in the Heart (the addictive noose: the addictive root, the addictive mind-set, the addictive lifestyle, the addictive cloak; know and be open about our own weaknesses; how family dysfunction contributes to sexual addiction: the Biblical example of King David and his son, Absalom) Chapter 4 -- Clueless in the Midst of the Battle (how sexual addiction becomes a coping mechanism for personal trauma; early exposure to pornography; pornography's progression: emotional high from the fantasy, the need for more stimulating material, numbness and denial, repeated promises to quit followed by the shame of continual relapses) Chapter 5 -- The Answer to a Wounded Heart (the only answer to shame: the cross of Christ; the ongoing process of understanding the death of Christ; God's love is greater than the shame of sexual addiction) Chapter 6 -- When Sex is Lord (how sexual addiction behavior begins and follows a predictable pattern; fantasy; rituals; shame and guilt; the example of the Prodigal Son; what maintains the addiction: refusing to follow directions, maintaining a high-risk lifestyle, and trying to stop without help [which results in the high relapse rate]) Chapter 7 -- When Jesus Starts Becoming Lord (discovering the predictable, recognizable pattern of sexual addiction: Under what conditions am I most tempted? [the day of the week, the time of day, the place] How do I feel when I am being tempted? What does the sexual sin give me that I feel I need? recognizing rituals and triggers; learning emergency procedures for the critical moments of temptation: identifying the conditions under which a relapse is most likely to occur, keeping physically and mentally fit, calling a group member for prayer and encouragement when tempted, combating isolation through the social outreach of a small group, nurturing ourselves, and memorizing Scripture; understanding that healing is a process; facing the wound within) Section II -- A PLACE OF HEALING Chapter 8 -- The Cleansing Hope of a Vision (learning true intimacy; a Biblical pattern: mutual submission and sacrificial love; sexuality as a mystery, offering a picture of Christ's relationship with His people) Chapter 9 -- The Power of Vision (the core of a vision: good character and spiritual understanding; self-discipline, a learned behavior; fear of boredom, fear of long-term commitments, fear of limited options) Chapter 10 -- The Bitter Waters of Healing (dealing with personal trauma, denial, minimizing, rationalization, dissociation; trauma and the human brain; wake-up calls for healing: dreams and nightmares, flashbacks, and body memories; God leading His people from bitter waters to sweet) Chapter 11 -- Values: The Titanic Challeng

Response to Pure Desire

I had been enslaved in Sexual addiction for years and have been in recovery for 3 years and have read literally all the books I could get ahold of about sexual addiction and this book is number one in my opinion. Pastor Roberts reaches to the very heart of the issue of sexual addiction. The diagram about the noose of sexual addiction has been very informative and helpful. You will learn about sexual addiction and be deeper in recovery than ever before. Diane Roberts last two chapters in the book struck my heart as never before, it is good to hear the woman's side and perspective. This book deserves 5 stars and plus. If you want to learn about sexual addiction this is the book!