Parents Under Siege: Why You Are the Solution, Not the Problem in Your Child's Life

by James Garbarino and Claire Bedard

Book Overview

Is it always a parent's fault if a child grows up to become unruly, disruptive, or even destructive? Are parents always to blame for children "growing up wrong"? Is it possible that good parents can... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0743201345
• ISBN13: 9780743201346
• Release Date: August 2001
• Publisher: Free Press
• Length: 246 Pages
• Weight: 1.15 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.0" x 6.3" x 9.6"

Customer Reviews

The Go-To Mom Gives "Parents Under Siege" a 5 Gold Stars

My biggest question is why is this book not a best seller? If there is any information out there that parents need most, this is it. Garbarino and Bedard are amazing and eloquent writers, considering how tough it is to write indepth and researched data, they sure did a lovely job. I was highly impressed by reading the preface. Powerful, meaningful and jolt to the soul. As a mother of two boys and as a licensed child therapist, I hold this book out to be one of the best educational pieces with regards to how we save and support the positive social climate that all children deserve. Kimberley Clayton Blaine, MA, MFT Licensed Child Therapist [..] Author: Mommy Confidence: 8 Easy Steps to Reclaiming Balance, Motivation, and Your Inner Diva

Excellent Book For Parents

Garbarion and Bedard's book is an excellent resource for parents who find themselves in any type of situation which a child which the talk about in the book.Another good point about the book is that the authors are among the very few people who have talked to Dylan Klebold's parents(although they're not directly quoted in the book) and that they authors show them the symapthy and compassion that few others have given them.I think that the main thing that can be taken from this book is that it's not always the parents' fault when a child does something wrong and I wish that society would recognize that.

What To Do When Being a Good Parent Isn�t Enough

The authors also wrote the acclaimed book, The Lost Boys. That book came out the day that Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold created the massacre at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado. Later meeting with Dylan?s family after Mr. and Mrs. Klebold contacted them, the authors became convinced that Dylan had had good parents. ...?Anything can happen? is the candid warning of this book. ... In the 10 percent of the cases where abuse and neglect are not involved in youth crime, the root causes are found in fragile kids (who are susceptible to negative influences), excess reliance on secret lives not perceived by parents and friends, and a peer who has taken the same path (youth violence almost always occurs in at least pairs). Certainly, part of the problem is the ?toxic culture? that encourages youth violence. The book provides a toolkit of 10 things to employ with your children. (1) ?You can never do just one thing? to make the situation better.(2) ?See the world through their eyes.?(3) ?Spiritual parenting? helps.(4) Evaluate the cumulative risk your children are subject to.(5) Understand that resilience varies by child.(6) Create a map of your child?s perceptions of the world.(7) Detect and measure how much social poisons are influencing your child?s perception of the future.(8) Provide a social compass of character.(9) Provide social support.(10) Learn from other cultures. The book has a marvelous example of how Buddhists carefully extracted earthworms before building a new structure so that they would not be harmed. Perhaps the most brilliant part of the book is the section on how to deal with an ?impossible? child. You are cautioned not to create an ?impossible? child out of a manipulative one by giving in to manipulative anger. I was fascinated by the sections in the book where polls showed that almost all teenagers thought that they could prepare an arsenal to hold a massacre at school without their parents knowing, and that 60 percent of male and 30 percent of female teenagers have had specific fantasies about killing someone by the time they are 19. As parents, we have to deal with the dangers that are children face, either from their neighborhoods or from abusive people. The book is filled with frightening examples of youngsters being stalked or abused for months before either the child, the child?s friends, or the school let the parents know. When these real risks are not handled, the risk of depression is very high. The risk of violence grows too, as the child comes to feel that their own life may be at risk. The book goes on to help you use empathy in intelligent ways when the child has a difficult temperament, be a good role model, reduce the emphasis on materialism in your family, and limit access to the violent sides of television, video games, and the Internet. The end of the book contains a fine list of resources you can draw upon to help you.No one can inoculate us from more episodes of school viole