Overcoming the Inheritance Taboo: How to Preserve Relationships and Transfer Possessions

by Steven J. Hendlin

Few issues facing families today are as difficult to confront as inheritance. We usually avoid the subject until it's too late -- and the resulting resentment and bitterness between surviving parents, siblings, and other relatives can be substantial and lasting. This is the first book to focus primarily on the psychological and emotional issues surrounding the family inheritance drama. From overcoming the reluctance to discuss death, illness, and...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0452284767
• ISBN13: 9780452284760
• Release Date: June 2004
• Publisher: Plume Books
• Length: 232 Pages
• Weight: 0.50 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.7" x 5.7" x 7.9"

Customer Reviews

It works

Overcoming the Inheritance Taboo is a terrific book. It helped me in two ways. Not only did I learn about the emotional issues surrounding inheritance and the grieving process that sometimes split families apart and why it's so important to talk about these things BEFORE our loved ones die, it gave me the means to do so: Me: I was reading a great book the other day, Mom, about why people should talk about things like inheritances and dividing up possessions before the family members they care about die - even though it might be hard to bring the subject up. People could avoid a lot of heartache and trouble if they'd only talk about these things openly. Mom: I suppose that's true. We've never really discussed which of you girls will get what after I die, have we? Me: No, we haven't. And so we did. Thanks, Dr. Hendlin!

Difficult subject handled with grace

Dr. Hendlin tackles a famously volatile family situation with insight and grace. His characterizations of the roles various family members play are both witty and excruciatingly accurate. The book is well-crafted structurally and at the granular level: the information is presented in an easy-to-find format, and Hendlin's writing is elegant and lucid, all of which makes it easier to ponder this difficult subject. The effect is like having a spoonful of jam with your medicine.

Very Helpful to Patients

I'm a female psychiatrist in private practice in the Los Angeles area. I'm seeing an increasing number of boomers coming in dealing with the emotions and family complications related to inheritance. I received an advanced copy of this excellent book and must say I'm very impressed with what Dr. Hendlin has offered.Easy to grasp, no obfuscating jargon, and interesting enough to keep you reading even when the issues are complicated and difficult.He has nicely outlined the key concerns arising before, during, and after a family crisis. His discussion of underlying psychological dynamics is creative and enlightening. This book will greatly assist the everyday reader facing these issues. I have already recommended it to a number of friends, patients, and colleagues. Thank you, Dr. Hendlin, for your original and courageous contribution.

A Tough Subject Made Readable

The author makes an easily avoided subject more than manageable to read. At times, his writing is even absorbing, taking the reader into various intriguing family scenarios. These case histories and stories help the book flow, adding to the insightful and comprehensive information he offers on the psychology of inheritance. The book has been orgaized to make it easy for those in crisis to go directly to the chapters which will be most relevant to them. The list of the various types of giver and receiver roles was cleverly written and fun to read, in addition to offering solid information. The author gives a step by step method for dealing with the distribution of possessions which readers will find useful as a blueprint for dealing with this difficult task.Chapters on the basics of estate planning, grieving and preserving sibling relationships after a crisis round out a thorough and enlightening examination of individual and family dynamics surrounding inheritance 'blood wars.' Adding to the style of this book was the use of highlighted paragraphs to help the reader focus on key insights and concepts. The sharing of the author's own personal experience of grieving added to his sensitivity and credibility. An excellent book to be welcommed by baby boomers (and their parents) facing the inheritance drama--and all those who want to be spared the pain that so often is part of families dealing with these issues. Relevant for all professionals dealing with emotional side of inheritance. As one who faces estate issues from the legal side, I have been waiting a long time for a book like this to offer my clients.