Overcoming Perfectionism: Finding the Key to Balance and Self-Acceptance

by Ann W. Smith

Book Overview

Anything worth doing is worth doing well. Practice makes perfect. Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing. Failure is not an option. In today's perfection-obsessed culture, these are the maxims we live by. Yet, the damage that they cause is stifling. Renowned author and pioneer of codependency treatment Ann W. Smith knows this first hand. Smith has dealt with her fair share of perfectionism and has bared witness to this all too common phenomenon in her professional life, having spent the last thirty years studying the impact compulsive disorders have on individuals and family. While perfectionism lacks much of the stigma attached to today's most common compulsions--smoking, gambling, sex addiction, alcoholism, and drug abuse--many of the negative connotations on self and the family system are the same.

Psychological and physical implications include:
Headaches Isolation Anxiety attacks Fear of failure Sleep disturbances Digestive problems Back pain Overeating Sexual dysfunction Depression Suicidal thoughts or tendencies An inability to establish proper boundaries Overly critical of others The need to be in control Excessive guilt and shameIn this revised and updated edition of the original, groundbreaking book Overcoming Perfectionism: The Key to a Balanced Recovery, Smith describes the key differences between overt and covert perfectionism; the role early attachment, temperament, sibling relationships, and life circumstances play in developing this pattern; and how to shift toward a center of balance for a more fulfilling life.

Readers will learn how to identify and confront the root cause of their problem, how to reveal and accept their essence, and finally, they will learn the importance of forgiveness and letting go. Additionally, readers discover the key characteristics of a healthy family system, along with the single most important lesson of all--perfection does not exist.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0757317200
• ISBN13: 9780757317200
• Release Date: March 2013
• Publisher: Health Communications
• Length: 240 Pages
• Weight: 0.62 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.7" x 5.5" x 8.4"

Customer Reviews

Overcoming perfectionism: The key to balanced recovery

I am obviously struggling with the book as I reread sections to make sure I haven't missed anything! Still fighting that perfect thing.

After 56 Years, Relief!

I've spent the last 56 years engaged in critical self-talk and feeling no matter how much I did, it was never "good enough". I kept this secret to myself, never telling anyone else, or believing it could change. Researching my fears on the net, I finally found a name for it - perfectionism. I didn't know there were two types - external (everything must look perfect) and internal (everything I do must be perfect - I can never be caught making a mistake). I have the internal type. I then found this book by Ann W. Smith, who I knew of and respected for her work at Caron in PA. As soon as it arrived, I began reading it, and finished it the first day. Every page spoke the truth of my life, and gave me hope for a an end to the suffering. Last night I discussed my "AHA!" moment with a support group, and was amazed at the percentage of folks who could relate. We were excited to find each other, and relieved to hear that we were not alone. Right now I'm riding on a pink cloud of HOPE. For the first time, I truly believe things can change. Ann gives a step-by-step approach to recovery, with descriptions of the time and effort it will take. A great, life-changing book!

You Shall Overcome!

I bought this skinny little book years ago and consider it the self-help book for those of us who aren't "that" messed up. Being too hard on myself, demanding too much, had always been a vice. The times I wasn't accomplishing enough, I always felt like I should have been. Overcoming Perfectionism book really helped point out where these feelings came from -- did you know a highly religious upbringing can be "dysfunctional" if it makes you feel bad about who you are? I have made a gift of this book to several people and they appreciated making the leap from present activites to their sources. Ann W. Smith's voice is very positive, readable, and the book contains numerous concrete suggestions for change. It helps you see how good life can be once you show yourself the compassion you give to others and cut yourself some slack.