One and the Same: My Life as an Identical Twin and What I've Learned about Everyone's Struggle to Be Singular

by Abigail Pogrebin

Book Overview

Journalist Abigail Pogrebin is many things--wife, mother, New Yorker--but the one that has defined her most profoundly is "identical twin." As children, she and her sister, Robin, were inseparable.... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0385521561
• ISBN13: 9780385521567
• Release Date: October 2009
• Publisher: Doubleday Books
• Length: 288 Pages
• Weight: 1.30 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.1" x 6.3" x 9.6"

Customer Reviews

General lending libraries will find this a compelling read

ONE AND THE SAME; MY LIFE AS AN IDENTICAL TWIN AND WHAT I'VE LEARNED ABOUT EVERYONE'S STRUGGLE TO BE SINGULAR is both an autobiography and a survey of the latest research on twins around the world. The author spoke to nearly every twin expert in the world for this book, offering a narrative packed with expert insights as well as interviews with twins with stories of their own search for singularity. General lending libraries will find this a compelling read.

As an identical twin raising fraternal twins... I loved it.

People called me, in lieu of my "real name", "hey twin". Everyone assumed my twin and I (who are identical) were one and the same. My mother's mother and her fraternal twin sister looked different enough that this didn't happen. I am sure my sons won't suffer the same fate as I did. At least, I pray they won't. They are fraternals. But still and all, this book was and is amazing. It is a MUST read for every mother and father parenting twins out there. It encapulates the twin experience. Since Abigail is a twin, she knows wherein she speaks. It takes a twin to be able to articulate the multiple/HOM experience and NO book out there about parenting twins (unless you happen to be a twin, parenting twins) and the unique identity and how careful you must be... is as succinct and helpful as this book.

Fascinating and not just for twins or their parents

This feels like such an important book in its attempt to answer fundamental questions about what makes a person who he or she is. While it includes the requisite freaky-twin stories that captivate us all, its truly intriguing elements are the multi-layered explorations of the meaning of being born essentially married. While parents of twins will be riveted to this book, I really hope it breaks into the singleton-reader world, as its essential discussion is not about twins per se, but about what twins teach us about being human. That should interest any reader--twin or not. Meghan Regan-Loomis author, Juggling Twins Juggling Twins: The Best Tips, Tricks, and Strategies from Pregnancy to the Toddler Years

Fascinating book even for someone who isn't a twin.

I'm not a twin, but I've always been fascinated by the twin relationship, especially that of identical twins. This account is riveting, especially the sections where the author writes about her own relationship with her identical twin sister. Many aspects of twinship are explored -- how the genetics plays out, effect of fertility technology on twins, separation, competition -- all fascinating. I read the book in two sittings.

As much of a page-turner as the most exciting thriller

Because most of us will never know what it's like to be a twin, twinship is often seen as fascinating, mysterious and magical. In this captivating book, Abigail Pogrebin blends a memoir of her life as an identical twin with interviews of other twins, along with scientific reporting of the twin phenomenon. I expected this book to be interesting (and it fully met my expectations), but I couldn't foretell how often it would make my heart ache. Abigail doesn't hold back, courageously revealing the sometimes painful longing she has for more closeness with Robin, her twin, while also discussing the wonderful aspects of their relationship. Although it isn't surprising to learn the strength of emotional intensity in being an identical twin, some aspects of the relationship are a revelation. Abigail tells readers that she has a life partner in her sister, someone with whom she is compelled to share her deepest thoughts and whose opinions she treasures. But there's another side to the coin: Abigail takes on any emotional distress Robin shares with her and is devastated by any spat with her sister. She also is frank about her sorrow in a certain recent distancing in their relationship, one emanating from Robin. Abigail's personal story weaves between the tales of other twins, as well as interviews with experts on twin relationships. She begins with a meander through a town named for twins: Twinsburg, Ohio. Twinsburg celebrates twins with an annual Twins Day, which began in 1976. Today, thousands of pairs of twins from all over the world attend the event. Abigail, who visited it in 2006, was a bit embarrassed by the sight of many grown twins dressed identically, but she also felt off kilter without Robin. During her visit, Abigail met many fascinating twin couples, including the well-known Ganz twins, who call themselves the "ambassadors of twins." Debbie and Lisa Ganz not only opened a twins talent agency, but they also own the New York City Twins Restaurant, staffed with twin waiters. Abigail marvels that the Ganz sisters have celebrated and elevated their relationship, while other twins she meets at Twins Day have been frank about their romantic and social woes, which some blame on their strong connections with their siblings. Experts, including psychologists and psychotherapists, contribute their theories about twin relationship pitfalls. Some believe that having a twin --- essentially a built-in best friend --- may delay social development. Feeling complete because of a twin relationship, some theorize, might also hinder a search for romance. In addition, it seems that some romantic partners of twins may feel especially challenged by the twin connection. One set of twins Abigail interviews is football players Tiki Barber and Ronde Barber. The Barbers discuss their respective strengths and weaknesses. To Abigail, they seem to have the perfect twin relationship with achievements they've attained by helping each other thrive, a solid closeness and sepa