On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep

by Gary Ezzo, Robert Bucknam, Robert Bucknam M.D.

Book Overview

The infant management concepts presented in this book have found favor with over two million parents and twice as many contented babies. On Becoming Babywise brings hope to the tired and bewildered parents looking for an alternative to sleepless nights and fussy babies. The Babywise Parent Directed Feeding concept has enough structure to bring security and order to your baby's world, yet enough flexibility to give mom freedom to respond to any need...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1932740082
• ISBN13: 9781932740080
• Release Date: January 2007
• Publisher: Parent-Wise Solutions, Inc.
• Length: 252 Pages
• Weight: 0.64 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 5.3" x 8.2"

Customer Reviews

Use this book if you want an insecurely attached child

My ex-wife and I followed the advice of this book as young first-time parents. We were both from dysfunctional homes this book, in some way, supported our own neglectful childhoods. All of the new scientific evidence points to this book's idea of self-soothing to be damaging to babies. I believe that many of my son's emotional challenges are a result of the terrible advice that this book presents. By all means, buy the book so you will know exactly what NOT to do as parents of a newborn child.

Proven method to direct parents on how to bring peace, order and harmony to life with your new addit

Our family is a second generation of baby wise and recommend it wholeheartedly. It is a proven method to give common sense advice on how to feed your baby, sleep habits and general baby questions. Our oldest child who is 28 was a babywise baby and now has twin sons, who have also been babywise babies. Our precious babies were sleeping through the night within 3 months. Our grandchildren as our children were and are blessings to all who knew them. I also Highly recommend every parental book the Ezzo’s wrote. Time and time again the principles of the books helped us raise our 5 children- brought order, peace and direction to parents who wanted great kids who were a blessing! Each person who reads these books can decide themselves, but honestly this series were a lifesaver 28 years ago, as well as today for our adult children raising our grandchildren!

Definitely NOT Dangerous! My favorite Parenting books!

Very common sense advice that serves both baby & moms. Guess that’s what the negative reviewers failed to be able to use. It’s like brand new parents who immediately change their baby’s diaper, as that’s what the directions say to do, only to discover that baby wasn’t done with their business yet and end up making multiple diaper changes for 1 BM! But, in using common sense, you get to know how your baby’s system works & learn not to immediately jump to change the diaper as soon as you hear or smell something. Some babies do their business quick & others not so much & it still remains true tho that a soiled diaper needs to be changed. My baby grew healthy, secure and as a result was always happy! Everyone commented on that & loved having her around. They were sorely disappointed when we decided to not bring her along. Not what can be said for most of the ill tempered, whining, whimpering brats encountered who are not “abused”. It’s a sad day when routine and schedule are abuse & people lose common sense to see what is plain to see: the massive difference between babies/children reared with structure/schedule/routine versus those who are not. Get so sick of hearing parents explaining away their children’s bad behavior due to some reason or other. Give your self & kids a break and don’t be “afraid” of “dangerous” practices that Work! That is the test of good advice after all. And do realize common sense is not to be left out and all principles have the flexibility to be adapted to the Individual child while not throwing out the truth of the principles. Can’t imagine why the negative reviewers would think those who followed these principles with the outcome of happy healthy babies think we love our children less than they do & would want to abuse them?? If they were honest, I’d bet it’s more of a great dislike & distaste for any Biblical application these principles seem to carry that bugs them. Kids went to pot as a result of today’s “let kids rule and for heavens sake, do Not tell them No because it will damage them” type parenting. Personally, that is abusive because are those kids ever in for a HARD life when things inevitably don’t go their way.

Begin to parent with understanding

It turns out that a system that makes perfect sense to adults is also very good for the baby. The author makes a case for a regular eat-wake-sleep routine for your infant that makes for a calmer baby and earlier overnight sleep. I am so thankful someone gave me a copy when I was expecting my first child-it saved so much time and frustration then and for the next 6 babies! Other moms and docs are amazed.

When i see this book at a used book store, i buy it to throw it in the trash!! Horrible advice. Only

Ignoring a babys needs is not parenting, it is neglect. This book should never have been written.

Bad book, lousy parenting.

A new mom parenting group I belonged to years ago "recommended" and we went through this book. So, I am writing a review to hopefully deter naive moms and dads. Not only does it go against every maternal instinct that God gave us. It is just downright abusive. Absolutely disgusting this book is even out. Highly promote ignoring / neglecting your babies and then advices hitting them. And last time I checked (years ago) some of the "authors" grown children do not even speak to them. Bad book, lousy parenting.

One of the most damaging parenting books I've read

I was introduced to this book while pregnant with my first child. I thought it sounded so "correct," with the way it described the evils of attachment parenting and how you can have a wonderfully well-behaved infant. And it did seem to work. My child was on a "perfect" schedule. But it also left my baby alone, and crying, when she was too young to know anything except she wasn't being responded to. By the time my second and third babies arrived, I had started to realize the emotional damage it was doing, and gave it up for healthy parenting styles. I deeply regret ever using this book. It sounds like an answer to prayer (what new mom doesn't need sleep?!), but it's incredibly damaging. Babies need to be responded to. To be nurtured and held and loved. They just spent nine months snuggled safe inside their mothers, listening to her heartbeat and her voice and breath, and then they are born, and suddenly put to sleep in a crib, in an alien environment, and left to cry because all their physical needs have been met. Well, we are more than physical beings. We are also emotions, and spirit, and soul, and our children are no less persons with emotional and spiritual needs than we are. I fully agree with the authors that children need more sleep than most of them get, but I would instead recommend Marc Weissbluth's book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child", which is far more helpful and healthy for the whole family. Please do NOT read this book if you're a new mom. For the sake of your child, go a different direction.

A must read!

This is a great book and a must have resource for anyone entering the journey of parenthood with their babes. Even if you don’t agree with every concept presented, it’s one to keep going back to again and a again to create structure, security and a balance that is best for your baby and for you as well! When my toddler and newborn were taking my mind in different directions I could come back to these to get grounded and remember what each one ultimately needs.

We have no way of knowing who will come through us, and parenting is the biggest challenge there is!

Please also see the book, "The No-Cry Sleep Solution : Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night" if you are considering this book. I am using one star to offset the many 5-star reviews, and to get to add this important view: Every ONE of us is UNIQUE, as are the children we parent. That SOME have success storiesl using this method is not understandable unless we dive deeply into each family. Kind, compassionate boundaries are a vital part of parenting. Most of the methods in this book countered every other instinct I had, and stood against the advice of countless fantastic parenting experts. Our job as parents is to learn as much as we can (BTW, please become an advocate for more parenting focus in the U.S. cultures!) And we had best USE OUR INTUITION about what is best for EACH child we are graced to have in our lives. I have a successful college friend who gave me this book since she loved her own success with these methods while her children were young, but when I questioned her, she added that she NEVER did anything the book recommended if it felt uncomfortable or deprivation-oriented. I could not have considered doing even what she did, so I went with my gut and used other methods. PLEASE take the wildly divergent reviews here to heart as an invitation to delve more deeply into learning AND intuiting according to what you learn about the babies that come to and through you, and continue to take the INDIVIDUAL children into account as they grow and (hopefully) feel safe enough to let you see WHO THEY most deeply are.

Parental Warning!!!

I am not able give a 1/2 of a star for this horrible book - but PLEASE, do not subject your children to the cruelty in this book. Trust your heart - not Ezzo. His methods are destructive and dangerous.

Baby wise was amazing help for me, as a young mother!

I LOVED this program, because it works! It's not legalistic, but still, well structured. My son, as well as my friends son responded beautifully to it, back in the early 90's. Our babies were SO much happier when we began implementing the Baby Wise programs. People were continually complimenting our happy, happy babies. They were far better rested, and nursed/bottle fed better. The Toddler books helped them to learn about safe, healthy boubdaries. Once again, we were continually complimented in how much self-control our children had, and how calm and obedient they were. (And still are, in their teens & 20's) The proof is in the pudding! This program has greatly helped to produce so much "good fruit" in our families!

Even the AAP condemns this book - DO NOT BUY.

Practices in this book have been linked to infants' failure to thrive, dehydration, malnutrition, and breastfeeding failure. The book gives parents wildy inappropriate expectations for infant growth, behavior, and development. Do NOT buy this book or follow it's teachings.

Do Not Buy This Book!

The Ezzo's advocate child abuse.

The happiest baby and parents around!

My wife and I are were very skeptical about this book, especially after reading all of the negative stuff on the net. But after hearing some rebuttals by people who actually read and used the book, we decided it couldn't hurt to read it. After reading it, we decided to give it a try, with our radar on full alert to anything that might rub us the wrong way. Long story short: we don't know what we would have done without this book. True, we had to slightly modify the method for our baby (something the author encourages), but by 4 months our son was sleeping through the night (from 8pm to 8am), taking nice naps in the day, and eating (breast feeding)... all more or less on schedule. It was like a miracle. We happen to have a bunch of friends who had babies around the same time, give or take a year. Most of them are what you'd consider "hippies" (heck you might consider US hippies too), and all of them are followers of the "attachment baby" method of parenting. For those of you that don't know what this is, do a Google search. Since they tend to be very judgmental about other methods of raising children -especially of the "BabyWise system- we largely kept kept the details of many aspects of our parenting from them. They eventually found out that we weren't co-sleeping or "wearing" the baby 24/7, but that's about all they knew. They certainly were wondering why our baby was sleeping through the night at 4 months, while their much older babies were waking up many times throughout the night. Maybe they also noticed behavior differences in our son, but we never really talked about it. Suffice to say that my wife and I are soooo happy we went this direction. People always comment about how happy and personable our son is. He's full of love, and positive energy; and he seems to be just well-balanced and strong for his age. And my wife and I couldn't be happier or more well-rested. :)

Don't be freaked out

I absolutely disagree with the comments telling you to throw BabyWise in the trash and that feeding on demand is the only way to stimulate an adequate milk supply, limiting and scheduling feedings is a sure path to a lowered milk supply, early weaning, and even failure-to-thrive in your baby. Schedule feeding will not diminish your milk supply and schedule feeding is not the ONLY way to stimulate an adequate milk supply, the entire time you breastfeed. I do believe that it helps establish your milk supply, but you do not have to do it to maintain your milk supply. And if you read the book you would note that in the beginning they recommend feeding your baby whenever the baby wants in order to get your milk supply started and stimulate the baby's growth (for the first few weeks). Then you can, with your established milk supply happily set up a routine for you and your child. You have long consistent feedings that let your child take in what they need. I cherished feeding times cause it was such a time of bonding and closeness. My children never failed to thrive, and never weaned early. I did use schedule feeding with my children and I had a more than adequate milk supply. I breastfed all for a full year, with scheduled feedings and never once had a problem with my milk supply. My doctor was even surprised at the amount of milk I produced. My children were happy, healthy and well-fed. Their bodies were able to regulate and their little digestive systems were not all out of whack from inconsistent meal times or meal sizes. This is such a great point in this book that people seem to miss. If you feed your child at erratic times throughout the day, or just give them a nibble here and there then a full meal later...how in the world will their little bodies get regulated? It helps give their bodies a rhythm, and helps the child know what to expect. Once they wake up they know moms here and its time to eat, then they get to play and have fun and bond some more, then they get to take a good rest and mom can rest too, read a book, do some laundry, work, whatever she needs. Then the child can wake up again, knowing what's coming next. How does this not help establish closeness, dependency and love. The child will eventually sleep through the night because its body is in a rhythm all of ours falls into. Day and night, eat and sleep cycles. Do you not eat, sleep, and work, pretty close to the same time each day? Its human nature, we all do it and doctors tell us its good for us (try to go to bed around the same time every night...) This book is just giving you tools to help your baby establish the same kind of cycle. And I loved the freedom it gave me when going out or planning activities. I would have a pretty good idea of when the children would wake up and what was going to happen throughout the day and I could plan accordingly. Instead of not knowing when they'd wake up or when I'd have to feed. I knew they were getting fed well, sleeping well and

It's Just Common Sense

I am often amazed at the disparate reviews of this book. People seem to either love it or hate it. Personally, I loved it. My belief as an M.D. is that humans as a whole respond to routine. We develop routine as adults, and benefit from it as infants. The concept of Parent Direct Feeding (PDF) as outlined in the book is not strict. It allows for significant flexibility, a point that seems to be missed by several who have criticized the book as dangerous. The point is never to dehydrate our babies or make them insecure. Security develops from routine. Knowing what will come next without the fear of abandonment is what limits our anxiety and provides for a secure attachment. Babywise is not hyperscheduling or the cry-it-out method. Nor is it on-demand. The routine is flexible and based on baby's hunger cues. It is a style of teaching your child about sleeping, eating, and playing. I am not Christian and was in no way compelled to read or even follow the christian guidelines outlined at the end of the book. As with all baby books, you can usually glean some useful information that works for you while discarding that which does not apply to your style of childcare. If any of this sounds sensible to you, then read this book at some point before or after your baby arrives. PDF is one idea, one philosophy, and you can take some useful information from it whether or not you follow it "strictly." My daughter was sleeping 8 hours a night at 12-weeks-old, 10-11 hours by 5 months. She is healthy, happy and well-adjusted now at 18 months. Overall my advice is to beware of the extremes of thought. Whether it's the strict schedulers or the wholly on-demand types, there is a happy medium somewhere in between. Good luck!

Healthy, Happy Babywise Baby

We have been using the Babywise program with our 4 month old breast-fed son. We found that the flexible routine was not something we had to force with him. It came very naturally. Initially, the most difficult part was keeping him awake long enough to have a full meal, not following the recommended 2 1/2 - 3 hour schedule. He was rarely hungry sooner than 2 1/2 hours, but when he was, we of course fed him! The keys to success in using this program are flexibility and common sense. At times, particularly during growth spurts, a baby may need more frequent feedings. We were able to recognize these situations and adjust while still maintaining a routine approach overall.Our son has been sleeping through the night since 9 weeks of age. Just as promised in the book, people comment daily on what a cheerful, well-adjusted baby he is - and how "lucky" we are. Because we can anticipate his feeding and napping requirements, we are able to better plan our day and enjoy successful outings with him. Since he is so well-rested and happy all the time, even friends who don't have children enjoy having him visit or join us for dinner out - and he enjoys the change of scenery and attention from admirers!Our son is healthy and in the 70th percentile for weight (50th for height). Our pediatrician supports the program, suggesting that keeping babies awake for a while after feedings encourages healthier digestion. I have had no trouble with my milk production and plan to continue breast-feeding for the forseeable future.This approach may not work for everyone, but we found that it worked very well for us.

Parent's Everywhere Need This Book

Gary Ezzo has really got his information down. The PDF method saved my sanity. I am a fairly young mom and was so depressed after the birth of my healthy baby boy. I needed sleep and I needed a break. I was introduced to this book by a friend that had used the book through her three children and was successful. I was skeptical and really only took the book to be kind. After reading the book I decided to give it a go. Man am I glad I did. My son, now 9 months old, has slept through the night since he was three weeks old and I have been a very happy mom. He knows his schedule and it makes trips and activities so easy to have. I love this book!