They say that if you want to live a long and happy life, don't support Newcastle United. Have you cringed whilst watching the likes of Emmanuel Riviere and Luuk de Jong trying to justify at least part of their colossal wages? Have you sat scratching your head, wondering why Moussa Sissoko and Gabriel Obertan are having as much effect on the match as... well... Florian Thauvin and Amdy Faye? Have you found yourself waggling a finger in your ear because...