My Father and Myself

by J.R. Ackerley

Book Overview

This heartfelt gay memoir about an adult son uncovering his father's secrets is "a cross between Dickens's David Copperfield, Rousseau's Confessions, and the new pornography" (Donald Windham).

When his father died, J. R. Ackerley was shocked to discover that he had led a secret life. And after Ackerley himself died, he left a surprise of his own--this coolly considered, unsparingly honest account of his quest to find out...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0940322129
• ISBN13: 9780940322127
• Release Date: September 1999
• Publisher: New York Review of Books
• Length: 280 Pages
• Weight: 0.74 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 4.9" x 8.0"

Customer Reviews

Really Enjoyable

I just completely, thoroughly and totally enjoyed this book!!! I believe the author Andrew Holleran got me interested in J.R. Ackerley, as I think he said his favorite authors were Proust and Ackerley, so I thought I'd give Ackerley a try!! Such a candid, forthright book. Ackereley is a VERY good writer. I am so interested in him I am now reading Peter Parker's biography of him, plus ordered 2 other books by Ackerley and I will leave reviews or coments for them all after reading them.

A true classic - and important document.

This is one of the best books I've ever read. I've only just finished reading it for the second time. I'm still in shock and awe. Such a story. Such a candid and engaging chronicle of one man's life and also the life of his father. Ackerley was a pioneer of "gay" literature. This is his masterpiece (without question). A more open and honest depiction of a gay man's sexual life (his likes and dislikes, his promiscuity, sexual incontinence, and his endless search for "the ideal friend")hadn't yet been written. Published the year after Ackerley's death, this book (and Crisp's "The Naked Civil Servant") clearly inspired a generation of gay writers. Beautifully detailed, "My Father and Myself" is a unique memoir. I'd like to tell you all the details of the story, shocking and poignant. However, the pleasures this volume provides are in its revelations - to elaborate too much would spoil the fun. A soldier in WWI (and a prisoner of war), a lover of Ivor Novello, a private secretary to a Maharajah, a close friend of E. M. Forster - Ackerley's story is never dull or stodgy. "My Father and Myself" is a timeless treasure.

Ackerley at his finest

The NYRB Classics series pretty much started out with a slew of reprints of the cult writer J.R. Ackerley, including his three memoirs (this, MY DOG TULIP and HINDOO HOLIDAY) and his one novel (WE THINK THE WORLD OF YOU). This, I would say, is easily his finest work. Ackerley's masterful reconstruction of his father's mysterious lovelife (comprising two unwed households and several unexplained longterm "friendships" with wealthy men) and his own conflicted sex life as a gay man in early twentieth-century London. Ackerley's tone always seems extremely honest, and while the narrative never comes to any absolute conclusions about Ackerley's father you're left convinced that these omissions and gaps are meaningful in and of themselves. This is as about a fine and interesting a memoir as I can imagine.

Two Lives, One Lesson

My Father and Myself, by J.R. Ackerley, lends insight into the minds of two men, both curious and proud, both leading secret lives. The book, in reality, is two parallel stories that merge into one. Both stories attribute the same themes: upholding honor to one's family and self-worth; love; past lives; abandonment; and learning to accept truth, even if one is not prone to liking it, or respecting it. I like the way the book, written like a carefully plotted novel, is thoughtful in it's approach to building upon the "history" of both father and son while slowly revealing that both men had secrets. And each secret tells of a son's ultimate forgiveness of a father and a father's loyalty to his families, however way one looks at it. Clever in its approach, witty in its storytelling, My Father and Myself is a good read, one that allows the reader to dwelve into the pysche and lives of two men. The reader will learn something, too, as the book ultimately teaches a story about perception and reality.

Like Father Like Son--Or Not?

I find I'm unable to start this review without falling upon a tired cliché, but the truth does seem stranger than fiction. Cliché aside-this is a fascinating account. Ackerley's self deprecatory style masks an uncommonly contagious wit. What masquerades as a tragic story reveals ultimately as a tale of lives lived to the fullest. The lives of the father and of the son--the story suggests these two lives were worlds apart. Between the lies and the lines, the real story suggests these lives were inextricable and extensional. The book cover illustrates to perfection the essence of the tale, its metaphors are both cogent and covert. Judge this book by its cover--it is as uniquely exquisite. Five stars to the publisher for bringing this book back in five star fashion. Read the introduction last!