If a mountain man felt compelled to dance, how would he do it? If koala bears could talk, what would they say? And what's the right pickup line, if you're a necrophiliac? (Maybe "I'm pretty sure I'm not going to get you pregnant.") In the throes of debates like these, we're lucky to have the learned people of McSweeney's Internet Tendency, America's best low-budget humor website, and their edifying work. From their best-looking writers...