Motherstyles: Using Personality Type to Discover Your Parenting Strengths

by Diane Eble and Janet P. Penley

Book Overview

An antidote to our stressed-out mother culture, MotherStyles validates the notion that good mothering comes in many styles and explains how understanding how you most often react to your child and why is the most important step toward working through areas that have long given you trouble. Drawing on the personality type-theory popularized by the Myers-Briggs(r) Type Indicator and author Janet Penley's more than eighteen years of working...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0738210455
• ISBN13: 9780738210452
• Release Date: April 2006
• Publisher: Da Capo Lifelong Books
• Length: 276 Pages
• Weight: 1.15 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.7" x 7.4" x 9.1"

Customer Reviews

Excellent book!

This book was very helpful to me in understanding WHY I do things the way I do (for example, how I relate to my children). It also helped me to understand why my mom did/does things. I was able to make a guess a my children's personality types (there is info in the book in how to do that) and found out that my daughter and I only share 1 letter out of 4 - no wonder I have a hard time understanding her! Taking our personality styles into account, I am better able to provide her with the emotional and physical attention that she wants and needs. I also try to focus on the strength we have in common and have been able to bond more easily. I have loaned this book out three times already and have another person waiting - but I want to read it again first. I highly recommend it!

Every mother should have this book!

Ever since before I conceived my daughter, I have devoured parenting books by the score. Only a few have passed the "purchase test." (I borrow everything I read from the library, then decide whether I'll reread it enough times to want to own it.) Motherstyles is different from anything else I've come across. After reading ONE PAGE I purchased it on the spot. A few more pages and I was already laughing and crying, feeling deeply affirmed as a mother and energized by the powerful truths this book contains. Since first reading it cover-to-cover in a couple of days, I have referred to it several times a week for my own parenting and to share its insights with friends. Ms. Penley has used her deep understanding of personality type to show every mother why she shines in certain areas and struggles in others. Motherstyles solves an amazing number of mysteries about why different mothers, kids, and people in general operate differently, as well as shedding light on family dynamics. The book "justified" for me certain strong needs I have as a mother--such as why I need daily solitude for my very sanity, while for many of my mother friends, a little time alone is simply a luxury that they can postpone if need be. So I'm meeting my needs more consistently--without guilt. I have stopped comparing myself to other mothers, instead embracing my personal style as a gift to my child. And everyone in my family is happier! Mothers in our society are in an strange bind: At our fingertips is an unprecedented amount of theoretical knowledge about all that children need in order to thrive. Yet on the practical level, ONE person, with her very human strengths and limitations, is expected to provide it all . . . while socially isolated, sleep-deprived, and overwhelmed by the rest of life's demands. It would be funny if it weren't so serious. This book goes farther than any other to lighten the load of that impossible burden, empowering mothers to claim their own uniqueness as a vital part of their children's thriving. Motherstyles has changed my world. Since reading it, I've been imagining a world in which every mother had a copy of it. It would be a world in which every mother was doing her very best parenting, her unique kind of parenting--while having fun and feeling plenty of ease and joy! A world in which every mother approached her children, her partner, other mothers, and herself with warm and deep understanding. A world in which every mother felt free to be fully herself. And THAT would give children what they truly need. I urge mothers, their partners, educators, and everyone who works with mothers to buy Motherstyles and help change the world!

Great book for Moms who "don't fit" the mold

If you are the mom who always has kleenex, a snack and a spare to share, fresh water bottles, a first aid kit, combs and hair accessories in your purse and glove box, if you bathe your children from 8 to 8:15 every night and you live by your calendar (which you never lose), you can still benefit from this book, which will help you understand your child who regularly forgets her coat at school and likes her room messy. If you are the mom who looks at the clock at 6pm and says,"Oh crap, what am I going to make for dinner!", whose dining room table is too full of fun projects to actually allow you to serve dinner there, and whose kid gets a bath when they start to smell funny, this book is for you! If you have tons of friends and your kid has few, or you like quiet time and your child needs to constantly be on the go, if you need lots of hugs but your child isn't interested, if your child color codes her sock drawer and you can't _find_ your sock drawer....this book is so for you. You might not BE like most other moms, and you might still be doing a fantastic job as a mom! This book tells you how to leverage the strengths inherent in your mothering style...and there are strengths in _all_ of the styles, even the rare types. Or your kids might not BE like other kids....here's some great insight into their styles and how to work with them...not change them. The book has lots of practical ideas to bring harmony and joy to the family, but even if it didn't, it would be interesting all on its own. Highly recommended.

Great Tips for Applying Types to Parenting!

I rarely bother to write reviews but this book deserved 5 stars! I have used the MBTI personality types effectively at work and there are great books on that for the workplace. That said, I have not found a better overall summary of conflict resolution for type differences than in this book. And of course its application of MBTI to mothering is unique. I found the recommendations helpful, concise and best of all not guilt-inducing! It was a refreshing and thoughtful read. I highly recommend it.

I draw on this material every day in my mothering.

Okay, so I admit it: I'm the coauthor. But I want to tell you why, ever since I met Janet Penley, I pestered her to write this book. I first met Janet Penley in 1993 when she spoke at a mothering seminar. I bought her self-published M.O.M.S. Handbook and I'll tell you, this material drastically affected my mothering. (Fortunately, I discovered Janet's work early in my mothering career.) Understanding personality type-especially my own, my husband's, and my children's--has enabled me to appreciate and build on the strengths of each of our types. I also know now here we need outside help or perspective to shore up our weaknesses. I grasp our family dynamics better?-particularly the greatest source of my ongoing frustration. Because my husband and I are the same types, I am often stretched in opposite directions, just to provide the balance that every family system needs. Helping Janet expand this information into a full-size book has only deepened my understanding of personality type and mothering, and convinced me of its great value. I draw from the material in this book--about energy management, family dynamics, self-care and more--literally every day. I highly recommend this to EVERY mom who wants to not only become a better mother, but to enjoy the experience more. Grandmothers would also benefit from passing this on to their daughters/daughters-in-law. (But make sure you read it yourself, too, so that you can understand your different approaches and, I hope, appreciate each other's styles more.) Even dads would benefit--there's a whole chapter on dads, and besides, it will help him understand his wife better. It would be a great gift for a man to give his parenting partner. Janet Penley invested 19 years in developing this material, and we spent another 2 years writing the book. When you buy this book here you get 21 years of wisdom and experience for less than $15. I can't think of a better deal.