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Paperback Miss America by Day: Lessons Learned from Ultimate Betrayals and Unconditional Love Book

ISBN: 1935689517

ISBN13: 9781935689515

Miss America by Day: Lessons Learned from Ultimate Betrayals and Unconditional Love

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Book Overview

Marilyn Van Derbur shares her courageous search for healing from incest. In this long-awaited book, Marilyn, a former Miss America, tells the story of how she was sexually violated by her father from... This description may be from another edition of this product.

Customer Reviews

5 ratings

Miss America by Day

When I started reading this book I couldn't put it down. It is so well written I felt as if I was with Marilyn. We hear of the "hero journey" that people undergo. Marilyn's life experience with such a horrendous horror that can afflict a human being is a heroine's journey - a victory of the human spirit over the worst of circumstances. We often hear of a tragic incident in a person's life that is difficult to overcome, but to emerge from such a prolonged period of suffering during a child's most critical developmental years, suffering undergone within what was reputed to be our culture's definition of a "good family," has resulted in one of the most important autobiographies of our time. Marilyn's triumph over her life circumstances speaks not only to the possibility of healing from incest, but reading this book outlines spiritual and psychological strategies for the deepest pain any reader may be suffering. I have given this book as a gift, sometimes to people who were fortunate enough to have not been violated by incest, and it helped them overcome other abuses in their lives which were festering for years. Marilyn's courage and belief in herself "no matter what," her trust in her instincts, however much those instincts were interfered with in her developmental years, extend to the reader as does her courage, self-esteem and dignity. One can feel that her heart's intention in writing this book is to give the strength and courage to others that she somehow managed to summon from within herself. That sense of heart and reinforcement are among the gifts this book gives. Through her wisdom of experience, one finds an ally, a friend to help them traverse the flood waters of the worst, most terrifying of human experiences. It was clear to me that Marilyn's revelation of her life story was not a "tell all" for personal recognition, but a labor of the heart to reach and help so many others suffering this silent, secret terror. I can't think of anyone who wouldn't benefit from this book in some deep, fundamental way.

So informative!

It is hard to find books that relate the emotional truth of sexual abuse, not only from the victim's point of view, but from all points of view. I am not a victim of sexual abuse per se but I have seen the eye of a perpetrator - a man exposed himself to me when I was 9. I am, however, very close to a woman who was abused as a child by a family friend. And, I am now processing the knowledge of an assault that happened between 2 families to whom I am close to. It is incredibly difficult to understand this kind of criminal behavior, and I wasn't raised in the greatest family. It is also difficult to understand the effects of sexual abuse. Thanks to Marilyn Van Derbur, I am able to get a better handle on these very complicated issues. And, more importantly, her description of herself almost parallels the description of someone else close to me who I once believed was simply "abused" in her childhood but, after reading this book, now believe that she may also be the victim of incest. It changed my mind about her obvious pain and odd behavior. So, I do recommend this book to anyone who has come in contact with a victim of sexual abuse. It will make you think and it will help you understand a great deal more about this very difficult topic. I am contributing this book to our local library. I was surprised it was not already there.

Amazing, MUST read

This is the best book about incest, surviving, truth, honesty, and healing that i have EVER picked up and read. I read it all in 3 days, and then proceeded to read it again another 3 times. There are certain chapters that I read and skip the rest. She is strong on her views, but more so, strong in herself. It is my hope that everyone will have a copy of this book on their shelf in time. It is a must read book even if you are not a survivor. It will teach you warning signs, how to talk to other survivors, how to talk with children. This book was carefully and honestly written. I wish there were a hundered more out there like this!

Miss America By Day

One of the best books I've read in a long time, and a must read for anyone who has ever been sexually abused as a child or for anyone involved in the counseling of people who have undergone this horror. I have only one question. I would like to know why Oak Hill Ridge Press, the publisher of this book, has limited it's availability to the state of Colorado and to online purchase? The jacket of the book states how Marilyn Van Derbur "has devoted much of her adult life to raising national awareness and understanding of sexual abuse and its long-term effects." So why would a book like this which is worth its weight in gold only be available in bookstores in one state in the United State? That's bizarre. Inter-library loan taps into 3000 libraries across the country and in that system there are only 4 copies of this book. Three of those are in Colorado and one is in Nebraska. I was told here in Florida by B. Dalton books that it is because the book is considered Denver history. I read the book and it has little to do with Denver history--it is the beautifully and courageously written biography of a survivor of incest.

The powerful autobiography of Marilyn Van Derbur

Miss America By Day is the powerful autobiography of Marilyn Van Derbur, a woman who, once crowned Miss America, was finally at age 53 able to say to the public, "I am an incest survivor." Sexually abused by her father from age 5 to 18, the scars of her maltreatment haunted her for years; Marilyn Van Derbur's personal story is one of seeking peace, working hard to achieve lasting love, and cautioning society against the depredations of the most vile types of human predators. Miss America By Day is a highly recommended addition to Women's Studies, Human Sexuality Studies, and Contemporary American Biography reading lists and library collections.
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