Mean Girls Grown Up: Adult Women Who Are Still Queen Bees, Middle Bees, and Afraid-To-Bees

by Cheryl Dellasega

Book Overview

Almost every woman has experienced bullying. Whether her role was that of victim, aggressor, or bystander, the pain of relational aggression (female bullying) lasts long after the incident has passed. In Mean Girls Grown Up , Cheryl Dellasega explores why women are often their own worst enemies, offering practical advice for a variety of situations. Drawing upon extensive research and interviews, she shares real-life stories from women as well as...

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0471655171
• ISBN13: 9780471655176
• Release Date: September 2005
• Publisher: John Wiley & Sons
• Length: 246 Pages
• Weight: 0.98 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.9" x 6.4" x 9.1"

Customer Reviews

See? It's not all "just in your head!"

Have you ever felt someone, somehow, was trying to sabotage your success in your career, personal relationships, and/or volunteer pursuits, but had no solid evidence? Have you felt shunned, devalued, abandoned, harrassed, or ridiculed by women with whom you previously felt safe with? Has your spouse/friend/coworker insisted it's all in your head? THEN YOU NEED THIS BOOK!!! Adult female bullying finally has been acknowledged, and finally has a name: Relational Aggression, or RA. Cheryl Dellasega offers compassion, wisdom and insight for those who've been blindsided, backstabbed and left devastated by hidden female aggression. Often, women who are under attack by a queen bee and her wanna-bees feel as though they're going crazy, because many believe such behavior is outgrown after high school. Plus, the bully/bullies often go out of their way to stay on the good side of their target's/victim's friends, thus ruining the target's/victim's chances of finding an ally to defend them. This book deals with RA in many different areas of a woman's life: family & in-laws; parenting & mommy cliques; career/workplace; charity & volunteer organizations; church groups; women's rights organizatons; within minority groups; and among the elderly, to name but a few. The author encourages women to look at their own behavior. Could YOU actually be a bully queen bee and not even realize it? Or, could you take a stand against a queen or wanna bee who's attempting to slander a victim? All the years of women fighting for equal rights in a male-dominated society mean nothing if we turn on each other all in the name of political correctness. Sometimes we women can be our own worst enemies as we fight amongst each other to claw our way to the top. Cheryl offers ways we can empower ourselves and others so women can unite and support each other as they work toward common goals and feel safe doing so. In closing, I'd recommend this book to friends, coworkers, women's church groups, and to anyone looking for ways to empower themselves and help create a safe, productive environment for all women.

Wish I had this years ago

I wish this book had come out years ago. It deals with the important topic of female relational aggression: how to recognize it, cope with it, change it. Ample resources are provided, good advice and helpful appendices. Most importantly, it has a great blend of "expert" analysis alongside anecdotal material concerning women's experience of this often devastating behavioral pattern. It's written in clear, accessible language, without "dumbing down" anything. I hope it gets widely read and discussed, but most of all, put into action.

Awesome Insights

I highly recommend that every adult woman read this book. I could hardly put it down because it touched on so many areas that affect all women. It is so refreshing to read a book that confirms and gives a name to what you see happening every day. We just thought junior high behavior ended after high school! This book identifies and offers advice on how to work with different personality types, whether you are a stay-at-home mom with volunteer jobs or are working outside the home. I recognized many women (and, of course, me) in Dr. Dellasega's book. It was thought provoking, insightful, and it made me evaluate the work and friend relationships I have with other women. I plan to give this book as a gift to all my women friends.

Excellent reference for females on female relationships

Mean Girls Grown Up is a thorough perspective of the toxic effect of female interactions that dominate our culture today. Dr. Dellasega makes a very reputable explanation of Relational Aggression (RA) and how women use it in personal and professional settings. She categorizes the components of the players in RA into recognizable characters, while including practical real life stories as examples. Mean Girls brought back a flood of memories for me of failed friendships that finally made sense to me. It really helped me to know myself better. The best part is the genuine support given as we learn to change these behaviors that keep us from relating to each other in positive ways. All women should read this book!

we all read it

My wife, my daughter and I all read this book. My wife and daughter each identified with the stories contained in the book about how adolescent female bullying survives into adulthood. I was fascinated to hear each of them relate how they had been bullied - things I had never known - and how each admitted that they, too, at times had been the bullier. It sparked a wonderful family discussion that still continues at meals. These discussions are not common in our house and I appreciate the author who could trigger the debates we now have about our conduct in everyday life. Although I picked this book up with reluctance, thinking it was a "chick" book, I am happy to give it five stars.