"...I know the risks, and moderate them when I can, but still I press on, even into adversity. There are very few things I fear, and even this situation was not one of them. But still...every now and then...just once and a while... I wonder...I question...I seek to understand why... Beaten to the edge of rationality, stunned beyond the capability of comprehension, between racking sobs and painful gasps for breath I screamed into the...