Dear Diary, I'm a whore. Okay, that's definitely not true. But it might as well be, because that's what everyone thinks of me. I'll admit I've earned that reputation with the biggest con job since Enron. The reality is . . . I'm a virgin. Long ago, I decided to save myself for The One. He's out there somewhere, that special man worthy of getting between my legs and someday I'll find him. But what...