Kick the Balls: An Offensive Suburban Odyssey

by Alan Black

Book Overview

A "hilarious and utterly irreverent tale" (Irvine Welsh) of a year in the life of an abrasive pee-wee soccer coach Growing up in Scotland, Alan Black learned that soccer was no mere game; it was a... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 159463047X
• ISBN13: 9781594630477
• Release Date: June 2008
• Publisher: Hudson Street Press
• Length: 255 Pages
• Weight: 0.95 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.0" x 5.8" x 8.2"
• Age Range: 18 years and up
• Grade Range: Postsecondary and higher

Customer Reviews

The Funniest Book Ever Written

The view from Alan Black's head, as he surveys Northern California suburbia, is scary the way riding a Hunter S Thompson novel is scary and philosophical in the Vonnegut Breakfast of Champions sense, but since it's all foreign to him it's like reading an alien anthropologist's view of your culture: ironic, enlightening, ridiculous, and a bit absurd. To get the full rush, you need to hear Alan in your head as you read. Here's your recipe: (1) read the book up until the first time you laugh outloud (make him earn the $24 fercrissakes), (2) after that first laugh, go to http://dublit.com/search?filter0=Alan%20Black (or just www.dublit.com then search on Alan Black audio shorts) (3) listen to one or two readings. You will then hear that mighty screaming brogue through the entire book. Nice. The comparison on the dust jacket with Nick Hornby follows from the self-absorbed 1st person character. But Alan Black takes it joyously over the top. The humor is bitingly dry, sometimes deliciously obscure, frequently refers to something you'd almost forgotten, and nearly always offensive. Offensive in the way that makes you look around to see if anyone was listening inside your head. In other words, offensive to no actual person, just potentially offensive. The best kind! The book isn't written with a mess of high-brow literati flair, thank God, it kicks you right in the, well, you know. Given the blue-collar style, it's amazing how this book, which has only one real character, delivers the goods. It's one of those tricks that a purple-prose-artist might shoot for and even pull off. I get the impression that Alan did it so naturally that he's not even aware of it. Organic talent, in other words.

I laughed, I cried, I nearly bought a round of drinks!

Via humorous vignettes that take you back and forth through 3 decades and 2 continents, Kick the Balls offers a very true and funny view of soccer/football, and life in general, on both sides of the Atlantic. Kick the Balls is a terrific read, even if you don't follow this sport.

Sounds of the Suburbs

When I was a kid in the 1970s, they said in the future soccer would become massively popular in America and we would all use the metric system. Didn't happen. The metric system is pretty much only used to refer to illicit drugs, but almost every American kid in the suburbs plays in a soccer league at least once. Alan Black's "Kick The Balls" is about his adventures coaching a kids' soccer league, yes. But it is much more. It's about Alan trying to assimilate into the American suburbs. And this is the super funny stuff. No one is safe from Black's barbs: TV preachers, kids, Dockers pants, parents, multiculturalism, the cult of the suburban lawn. Oh and it's not just a snarky hit piece on the easy target of suburban life, Black reserves his sharpest wit to mock himself: a cynical, uncomfortable, Scottish transplant to California. Recommended to anyone in need of a hearty jaundiced laugh at the world and themselves. Extra bonus funny (and insightful) if you are in the position of trying to cope with maintaining your identity and making new friends in a suburban, middle class, vanilla wasteland (i.e., if you're like this reviewer).

Fookin' Hilarious!

This is a "laugh out loud on the bus making everybody think you're a nutter" book. Absolutely brilliant.

Fantastic

I saw this book at my local bookstore earlier today, and read the dustjacket description. I was delighted to see one of Bill Shankly's famous quotes, and started flipping through it. I read the first three chapters standing in the sports aisle, then bought it, took it home, and read it straight through. I enjoyed it immensely; the author's misanthropic tale of youth soccer is as hilarious (and, as the cover states, offensive) as it is heartwarming, as he tries to bring some level of discipline and success to a motley group of youngsters. As a huge fan of the game, it was very interesting to see an outsider's perspective on the little league culture in the United States, and a little bit validating to see the level of ridiculousness of it all exposed. I highly recommend this book to fans of the beautiful game, as well as fans of a good laugh at the author's (and America's) expense.