Journey of the Adopted Self: A Quest for Wholeness

by Betty Jean Lifton

Book Overview

Betty Jean Lifton, whose Lost and Found has become a bible to adoptees and to those who would understand the adoption experience, explores further the inner world of the adopted person. She breaks new ground as she traces the adopted child's lifelong struggle to form an authentic sense of self. And she shows how both the symbolic and the literal search for roots becomes a crucial part of the journey toward wholeness.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0465036759
• ISBN13: 9780465036752
• Release Date: May 1995
• Publisher: Basic Books
• Length: 336 Pages
• Weight: 0.72 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 5.0" x 8.0"

Customer Reviews

Intriguing

A very fast read for me I enjoyed it a lot. This was my first book venturing into my own adoptive ideas and trauma & loved this.

Context is everything.

Those of us who were adopted in the 60s or before may well never have had our experiences validated. We waste energy we could put into healing wondering, "What's wrong with me?" because we were taught adoption makes no difference, and that asking questions about our origins would be disloyal. Adoptive parents of the same era may well be wondering where they went wrong in raising their adopted children; I know mine have. They didn't do anything wrong, they just weren't given the tools they needed to raise a child they did not give birth to. For people adopted in the era after books like The Adoption Triangle and The Primal Wound were published, this Journey may seem like wallowing or old hat, but this book was invaluable to me. Reading it and dealing with the feelings it provoked was step one on my journey to healing. This book gave me the courage to find my birth mother. When I was a teenager, the birthmother search was unthinkable, open adoptions didn't exist, and the epithet b*stard was anything but a badge of pride. If you read this and feel it doesn't apply to you because being adopted doesn't matter, please leave a little space in your head and heart to consider that it just might matter a little bit. Try reading it again in a year or two. If it still doesn't apply to you, count yourself lucky, and have compassion for those of us who feel we were traumatized by adoption. The Quest For Wholeness is one we all must undertake. Best of luck to you on yours.

Relief

I find it hard to describe the impact that Ms. Lifton's book has had on me. I spent many nights crying and furiously scribbling in my journal because of the emotional tidal waves that would consume me as I read Journey of the Adopted Self. I read this book seven years after my reunion with my birthparents, and I only wish I had known about it back then. I would very much recommend this book to anyone who has been adopted, as it will help to fit together the jagged pieces of your heart and mind. I can only say "thank you" to Ms. Lifton for writing her insightful and compassionate books; Journey of the Adopted Self is one of the reasons that I am a functional human being today.

Still the best adoptee book

Betty Jean Lifton has written a graceful and useful narrative of what it feels like to be an adopted adult under the sealed records system that has prevailed in the US for the past 60 or so years.This book has helped countless adoptees understand themsleves a little better, and it has also enlightened adoptive parents, and birthmothers like myself. Everything Betty Jean Lifton writes on this subject is worth reading, and discussing, and in many cases, taking to heart. She is a masterful writer of prose, and her psychological insights often ring true. This is THE basic adoption reform book--along with BJ's earlier "Lost And Found". All the rest take off from here. I would especially recomend BJ's books to birthmothers in search or in reunion seeking for insight into the mind and soul of the adoptee.

An in depth explination for what we(adoptees) can't explain

This book by Betty Jean Lifton is an eye opening experiance for all that may read it. Things became clear to me after reading this book. I have read many books on the subject of adoption and this is the only one that has been the most apealing and helpful to me as an adoptee. Yet my adoptive mother has also read it and thought it was an exceptional book. I could not really explian how I felt or why till I read "Journy of the Adoptive Self." People don't think a book could have so much impact on a sixteen year old. But, this book was my life saver when I hit rock bottom. So, I highly recomend this book to adoptees, adoptive parents and birth parents of all ages. Give it a chance you will see what I am talking about.

Insightful and inspiring, a book you can't put down!

Journey of the Adopted Self is truly an inspiring book that spoke not only to me the adult, but also me the child. I am an adoptee who didn't think that adoption affected my overall self until I began to read about *me* between the pages of this book. Identifying with and understanding the psyche of a baby separated from its mother early, I realized that I had always wanted to be cradled when things were difficult in life, that I always wanted to meet someone who could take care of me but was afraid of rejection, and my "natural" instinct to distance my adoptive mother from me may have been my reaction to being separated at birth from my natural mother. This book also described my adoptive brother who seems "stuck" in his evolving into an adult. As I have begun a reunion with my birthmother, my adoptive mother and I have become closer, and with the help of this book, I've been able to be exposed to other points of view objectively instead of just reacting to situations. I truly feel that this is a book that will help adoptees not only cope with the issues of being adopted, but will help heal the invisible scars on our hearts