Ithaka: A Daughter's Memoir of Being Found

by Sarah Saffian

Book Overview

The voice on the other end of the line was soft, yet forthright: "Sarah, my name is Hannah Morgan. I think I'm your birth mother."

The phone call, wholly unexpected, instantly turned Sarah Saffian's world upside-down, threatening her sense of family, identity, self. Adopted as an infant twenty-three years before, living happily in New York, Sarah had been "found" by her biological parents despite her reluctance to embrace them.

In this...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0385334516
• ISBN13: 9780385334518
• Release Date: October 1999
• Publisher: Delta
• Length: 324 Pages
• Weight: 0.55 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.9" x 5.6" x 8.6"

Customer Reviews

Powerful Read

I've read most of the reviews listed about this book and was annoyed by several of them which criticized Sarah's "spoiled" lifestyle and "selfish" lack of response to her birthparents.I am also an adoptee, adopted through the same agency as Saffian. I was also raised in Manhattan by a well-to-do family. I have had access to my birth father's whereabouts for several months but haven't felt right about contacting him yet. It may take me three years to write the letter or make the phone call. But if it does, so be it. There is nothing wrong with waiting until I feel ready, just as there was nothing wrong with her going through her process."Itaka" is a beautifully written book about the range of emotions Saffian went through before, during and after her reunion. In my opinion, it's a must read for for all members of the adoption triad.

An eye opener!

As a birth mother AND an adoptive mother,this book let me understand the feelings of the adopted child. I found my daughter 6 years ago and I have not met her at this point. We do write letters and emails, but have never talked on the phone or met in person. This book helped me to see how difficult this process is for the "found" child. She hasn't known anyone but her adoptive family and it is very hard for her to accept me and my family. I am sending her a copy of this book for Christmas. Thank-you, Sarah!

an insightful view into an adoptees thoughts and feelings.

I just finished this book. I was overwhelmed with the words that the author wrote - very powerful words. I would ( and have) recommended this book to everyone in the adoption triad. This is a very easy book to read - you won't put it down.

A true real-life story of the endless bounds of family

I read this book after hearing Sarah Saffian tell her story on television. (The Leeza Show) I have no direct way to relate to what she has gone through. I am not adopted, yet the way she writes this book, anyone can posess the capacity to understand and read with a vaguely familiar sense of our own reality, simply because we all have our own version family. Whatever "family" means to the reader comes to the focus of contemplation and the realization that those who are most dear to us are always there for us. As Sarah endures her own self-discovery through the process of being found by her "other" family, she reveals such insight in the telling of her journey, that any reader, adopted or not, can truly understand.

surprisingly candid and true-to-life

While each and every person has a different story, the circumstances are eerily similar when talking to adoptees. Saffian's "Ithaka" is something I turned to when I was contacted by my biomom. From my reaction to the first time I was contacted by my her, to my anticipation of seeing her face for the first time; from hearing friends' stories about their adoptions and reunions, to struggling with the fear that my parents would feel abandoned and betrayed if I sought out my bioparents - this book helps us realize that we are no more alone in our thoughts and fears than we are walking down a crowded avenue. How many others, I wonder, have turned to this book for answers, much as I did? And how unfair it would be to say my reaction is wrong, or the author's reaction is wrong, because the two are not consistent? While some of my reactions have been different from hers, I am amazed by what I read... and how nicely she can relate publicly such an intimate and personal story. I turned every page with anxiety and felt her actual reunion with her bioparents seemed anticlimatic. Upon reflection, her sparse description and the small number of pages she dedicated to the actual reunion, I wonder if it was too personal to commit to print, or if she went through the reunion in a fog, or if she just realized that her adoption was not a colossal event, but a mere fact of life. At any rate, I think it's a must read for anyone trying to find themselves in the process of being found. Likewise, I feel it is a great read for anyone outside the adoption community.