Interfaith Families: Personal Stories of Jewish-Christian Intermarriage

by Jane Kaplan

Book Overview

As the number of Jewish-Christian marriages in America continue to rise, couples find themselves searching for ways to reconcile love and religion. Even when each partner has no particular religious life, they are confronted with related conflicts.

Should children be raised in one faith and not the other? Who decides which holidays to celebrate and how? How can couples deal with extended family members who may not understand or accept their...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 159627011X
• ISBN13: 9781596270114
• Release Date: June 2005
• Publisher: Seabury Books
• Length: 238 Pages
• Weight: 0.95 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 6.3" x 9.2"

Customer Reviews

Very Informative

A very insightful book. I'm currently in an interfaith relationship which has the possibility of someday becoming serious. I read this to learn what I was getting into and for some insight on the choices I may have to make someday. The book confirmed what me and my boyfriend felt all along and warned us of some obstacles we may have to overcome in the future. Basically, its made up of first person stories and reflections. These stories are broken into sections based on the approach the family took. First was families who kept Jewish homes and raised their children to identify as Jews. Most of these families had a positive experience. Some obstacles were that the Jewish partner wasn't that observant and actually left it up to the Christian partner to teach the children about Judaism, and to keep a kosher home and do all the holiday work. My reaction to this section was that it convinced me this was a positive and practicial way to go. Second was families who have Christian homes and raised their children as Christians. This typically only happened if the Jewish partner themselves was from a mixed family (had a Christian parent). The Jewish partners in this section were not only non-observant, but also semi observant of Christian holidays. These families seemed happy, but my reaction was that unless the Jewish partner came from a mixed home, this is a very unlikely approach. Third was families which attempted to raise their children both Jewish and Christian. In most cases this was a disaster. Identity confusion, hostility between partners and regret was common. After reading this section, its not an approach I would consider. Fourth was families who "tried something else." This was diverse, including nothing, or being secular or apathetic. I felt this was a disaster, and most families said they regretted this. Another family raise their 2 sons as Jews and 1 daughter as a Christian. This family clearly expressed that this was an experiment gone bad, and not to do this. I agree. In this whole section, the families seemed like they regretted their choice and were not that happy. The only exception is the family which decided to join a Unitarian Universalist congregation, they were very happy and it seemed positive. This chapter definitely convinced me that children need some religious training, anything is better than nothing. The Fifth and final section was on families in which one partner converted. Some of these families were happy, some of these families were strained after waiting years and years for the conversion to happen, some were estranged from their parents, and some of these families are broken and now divorced. Over all, this chapter was very negative and cast a negative light on conversion. I think the writing and presentational style in this book is great. I agree with most of the points it makes and I think its well researched with the exception of the conversion chapter. I am giving this book 4/5 instead of 5/5 because I

Excellent vignette on difficulties of interfaith marriage

This is an amazingly well presented collection of interviews that were conducted with people that were involved in an interfaith marriage. The author breaks down the interviews into those who are raising children Jewish; raising them Christian; raising them with both religions; other alternatives; and lastly, those marriages where one spouse converts to the religion of the other. Although each interview ranges from a few pages to about 8, the full range of emotions come out which show the hurt from the family of the spouse; sometimes the hurt from the spouse; and the frustration at trying to be even-handed and finding out how difficult it really is. Although I am of the camp that feels that interfaith marriage can't work, I would consider this required reading if only for the range of situations that are covered and how each couple handles them.

Absolutely Wonderful

I read this book and thought it was wonderful. I hated to put it down and wanted to know how the next couple handled the situation. Each story came through with honesty and integrity. This book is a must for couples that are in or going into an interfaith marriage. It shows the different solutions chosen by couples in a very personal manner.

Excellent Reading

This is an excellent book. Although written about a serious subject, it is extremely easy to read and hard to put down. I would recommend this book to anyone who is in, contemplating to be in, or just interested in Interfaith Marriages or relationships. Opens eyes to both sides of the story from very different personal views. It's non-judgemental, although factual and it some of the feelings expressed will surely hit home for many people. I also would recommend this book to anyone who is in the "counseling" field.