What if Santa Claus had given up on mankind and his most famous reindeer turned into a homicidal alcoholic? This alternate history is narrated by William Stonecutter, a young man orphaned as an infant who never grew beyond 3.5 feet tall. The world has gone to hell in a handbasket and William intends to do something about it. He and a weary fellowship of carnival outcasts embark on a quest to the North Pole. They make a desperate plea to Santa:...