In Praise of Older Women: The Amorous Recollections of Andras Vajda

by Stephen Vizinczey

Book Overview

"A cool, comic survey of the sexual education of a young Hungarian, from his first encounter, as a twelve-year-old refugee with the American forces, to his unsatisfactory liaison with a reporter's... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0871130777
• ISBN13: 9780871130778
• Release Date: January 1986
• Publisher: Atlantic Monthly Pr
• Weight: 0.57 lbs.

Customer Reviews

Some Observations on In Praise of Older Women

I have just read In Praise of Older Women for the second time. Many reviewers have drawn attention to the wisdom contained in this little book, which slyly presents itself as a breviary for young men without lovers. I am reluctant to insist on its status as "an erotic classic," for fear that to do so would confine it to a very narrow context. Indeed, the erotic scenes do not constitute the heart and soul of the story, nor do they even take up very much room. Rather, the book brings some very subtle psychological observations to bear on human relationships. Note, for example, the analysis of the "rapport des forces" between the older women and the younger hero. Zsuzsa, a "small, colourless woman," struggles to overcome her pride. Her coyness turns to compliance only when Vajda snaps at her, showing his passion (one recalls a scene in The Red and the Black: playing for somewhat higher stakes that Vajda, Julien tears a sword from the wall, imprudently displaying his passion before Mathilde, who briefly sees that he loves her). Other women aim stinging remarks at the young man only to succumb to his advances; or else they are guarded and surly the morning after, suspicious (and, in many case, rightly so) of the young Don Juan's motives. In another case, it is Vajda who is prideful. In his efforts to keep up with an energetic violinist whose relentless athletic pursuits and strange sleeping habits he takes as a challenge, the poor Casanova wears himself down to the bone. Vajda also writes of the anonymous onanists, versions of Dostoevsky's "underground man," who keep to themselves and satiate their erotic cravings in solitude. These misanthropes belong to the category of men who have not opened themselves up to women, who want to seduce and dominate the opposite sex, unlike Vajda, who looks on women as "accomplices." The book is a very strong and subtle critique of pride. When I think back on its contents, I remember not only the pleasant watercolors of Hungary and Rome, the descriptions of bodies and faces, and the maxims worthy of La Rochefoucauld ("Whatever is sanctioned by society as a principal good also becomes a moral imperative"), but also the wry humor that examines human interaction with sympathy and insight. While desire plays a large role in the recollections of the hero, the extent to which the author soars above his past is quite remarkable. To be invited to partake of his calm gaze is a pleasure worth repeating. One can read this book again without tiring of it.The book was very well received in France. "Un bain de bonheur" was how one reviewer described it. How to account for its popularity in Europe (the book has been a best-seller in Spain and elsewhere I believe)? It is true that eroticism has been raised to the level of a value in France, which deploys its Catholic moeurs like scud missiles against a monolithic (and not wholly imaginary) American puritanism. Ideology aside, the fact remains that France knows how to appreciate good

Simple and wise

Like most classic novels, "In Praise of Older Women" is a simple and wise book. I consider my life meaningfully enriched by having read it. (And how many books can you say that about?) I can understand why the author (to whom I give my thanks) pursued the dubious expedient of personally promoting it here. It cries to be read! But I fear that its European sanity with regards to the eternal dance between men and women will always be a foreign tongue to American readers, saddled as we are with the sexual neuroses of our Purtian founders. What Vizinczey has learned about women, and which he has graciously shared with us, is not feminist and it is not politically correct. It is simply true. People who value doctrinal conformity over thoughtful perception had better stick to Oprah-approved novels instead. Those seeking to understand our human nature a little better before it is lost to the grave are well-advised to start here.

The review in a leading French paper

This is the author. I think those who like my work may be pleased to learn that the French edition of the novel, which was published a month ago along with my Truth and Lies in Literature, is already in its 3rd printing and has received favourable reviews. The 5 stars is a summary of the review of the French edition of In Praise of Older Women in the 25 May 2001 issue of LE MONDE. Here is a translation of some extracts: "... For eight years, living from hand to mouth, Vizinczey learned to become a writer in a language of exile. At the end of his apprenticeship, he published a masterpiece, In Praise of Older Women... At the price of discouraging some readers who are fond of sexual spectacles and amorous gymnastics, it has to be said that the novel, far from being about fantasies and neuroses, seeks, like all great novels, to teach those who read it the truth about life. It is a novel of apprenticeship which would be a good thing to offer to young people of both sexes as soon as they approach the enchanted and agonizing shores of sexuality... ... Faced with the youth cult and the barriers between age-classes which bear down on modern societies, where each generation seems to belong to a different period of history, Vajda-Vizinczey "having been lucky enough to grow up in what was still an integrated society", wishes to help to bring about a better understanding of "the truth that men and women have a great deal in common even if they were born years apart". Vajda begins from a simple observation: when adolescent boys and girls, knowing nothing about life and the other sex, want to begin lovemaking, they do it so clumsily, with so many fears, anxieties, preconceived notions and models furnished by bad books that what ought to be a pleasure turns into a struggle. And often for a whole lifetime. After several catastrophic experiences with teenage girls, Vajda, who refuses to look on women as his enemies, decides to rid himself of his sexual illiteracy by learning from those who know: older women. In his peregrinations he not only discovers simple and cheerful enjoyment, sexuality without anguish, free of guilt, sin and acrobatics, he learns the warmth, tenderness, delicacy and complexity of human relations - the voice of the other - the wearing away of time, understanding, habit and how to get around it - the errors, the shames, the joys... The irony, the lightness, the profundity, the naturalness and exactitude of the novelist are found again intact in the texts of the critic... András Vajda reads women the way that Vizinczey makes love with books: with the same desire to understand through pleasure, the same opening up of the mind and the heart, the same freedom, the same lucidity and passion for truth and beauty. You would lose something if you read only one of these books without the other... Vizinczey's intelligence is so bracing, so contagious, that reading his books plunges you into a bath of joy for at least a week."

Ways of reading a novel

Philosophers and critics like to remind us that a literary work of art is a multi-layered creation. Children and adolescents tend to focus on one of the easily accessible layers or strata, the plot. The setting, pulse, and outcome of the narrative - Crusoe's island or D'Artagnan's adventures - are the main sources of their interest and delight. As they grow older, many of them acquire the habit of going beyond the tale and detect an authentic spiritual vision - a vision that expands and transforms their own way of seeing the world. There are, of course, some adult readers whose sensibility never reaches this stage.Stephen Vizinczey's In Praise of Older Women, like all meaningful classic, can be truly appreciated if we learn to cleanse the doors of our perception and "read well". By adopting a more "literate" approach, we are not so much concerned with Hungary or Canada indigence or wealth, thirst for sensuality or "heavy virtue". Rather, we come to realize that the story is centered on the nature of communication between human beings, on the reason of its ultimate success or failure. If you look for a verbose, graphic, and "three-dimensional" narrative, Vizinczey is not your author. If you want to know how, today just as much as yesterday, people love, or think they love, someone, and why older women are more beautiful than the younger ones, read this humorous and truthful masterpiece.

Captivating

I first wanted to read this book when I was in high school, however, my mother would not allow it. Stephen Vizinczey is a cousin of my father's and that is how I arrived at an interest in his work. After reading the book, now at the age of 28, I can understand why my mother would not allow me to read it at such a young age. The book revels in a young man's quest of sexual experiences and learnings with the opposite sex. It is not detailed in the sense of a steamy harlequin (thank goodness!). Instead, the book entails more of an open aired and very tasteful approach to the combined meaning of sex, relationships, and life. I disagree with some of the other reviews which regard the book as what it is like to be a young male in hungarian nationality. The book begins in that part of the world, however, being a first generation American from Hungarian descent, I believe that this book is true to the male species in any culture. The book is amusing and light hearted and is a must read no matter where you are from.