In Her Own Sweet Time: Egg Freezing and the New Frontiers of Family

by Rachel Lehmann-Haupt

Book Overview

This trailblazing memoir examines the trials-and modern scientific solutions-of balancing career and love with the realities of reproductive timing. Women are making massive strides in gender equality, edging out men as the new majority in the workforce. But, because of their brief window for childbearing, this also means a drastically shifting paradigm for motherhood and family planning. In this 2nd edition, Lehmann-Haupt has updated the inspiring,...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0996307451
• ISBN13: 9780996307451
• Release Date: February 2016
• Publisher: Nothing But the Truth Publishing
• Length: 312 Pages
• Weight: 1.00 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 5.9" x 9.0"

Customer Reviews

Touching Story

This was an insightful book filled with a lot of good facts. The author did a lot of research that came through in her story. A good read for anyone interested in learning more about becoming a single mom, sperm banks, or in vitro fertilization.

Are we the same person?

Many times over the course of reading this book I had the feeling, "Are you me?" I'm the same age as the author, and I could relate to so much of the book, from the disappointing online dating experiences, to the consideration of single motherhood, etc. I even recently ended an eerily similar relationship with my own Jacob. I devoured the book in two days; it was the equivalent of having an intense phone conversation with an old friend. I'm grateful that there are writers like Lehmann-Haupt who are willing to write about their private lives in an attempt to illuminate these kinds of issues.

"How old is too old?"

Rachel Lehmann-Haupt's "In Her Own Sweet Time" is an engrossing and poignant account of the problems facing affluent single women over thirty who have yet to find "Mr. Right." One of their worries is the possibility that they may never experience the joy of having a child. Lehmann-Haupt, who had spent her twenties seeing the world, becoming a writer, and casually dating, ruefully admits, "Suddenly I felt bad about all my career ambition and the emotional and financial independence that I had achieved." Had she been too cavalier in ignoring the ticking of her biological clock? Rachel interviews other women in similar circumstances as well as medical professionals who are on the cutting edge of reproductive technology. What are the choices facing older women who would like a baby but do not have a mate? How has extending a woman's reproductive years become a multi-million dollar business? Some of the answers are surprising and a bit unnerving for those who believe in the traditional nuclear family. In some ways, biology is destiny. "As a woman ages, her egg quality declines and pregnancy becomes both riskier and harder to achieve." As young women increasingly enter lucrative professions for economic, emotional, and intellectual reasons, many "have therefore put earning power before procreative power." Increasingly, women want to start a family in their late thirties or even in their forties, with or without a husband. As Lehmann-Haupt struggles with similar issues, she opens a window on a controversial subject that is also an ethical minefield. "In Her Own Sweet Time" is a compulsively readable and fiercely honest account of the author's emotional ups and downs. Women will gnash their teeth when Rachel tells us about men she loved and who claimed they loved her in return, but for some inexplicable reason, could not commit to marriage and a family. On the other hand, she may have broken up with potential life partners because they didn't measure up to her ideal of perfection and/or she was so intent on pursuing her personal goals. As she looks at the big picture, Lehmann-Haupt raises some thorny issues: Should every woman aspire to be a mother? How much money should a woman spend and how much stress should she put herself through to undergo fertility treatments that may not work? Is it morally right for a woman to become pregnant using donor sperm, knowing that she is depriving her future child of a father with whom he can bond? Should a woman freeze her eggs while they are still viable for use at some future time? There are no easy answers; sometimes, it seems, too much choice can be just as confusing and paralyzing as too little choice. It is ironic that our brave new world of liberated women, Internet dating, and reproductive breakthroughs has not necessarily made people's lives any easier or more satisfying.