In Good Times and Bad: Strengthening Your Relationship When the Going Gets Tough and the Money Gets Tight

by M. Gary Neuman

How to maintain a strong marriage no matter what comes your way

Now more than ever, couples are facing tough times that can impact on even the strongest of marriages. In In Good Times and Bad, family counselor and relationships expert M. Gary Neuman and his wife, Melisa, take a look at one of the biggest issues couples face, money management, and give you the tools you need to deal with whatever financial challenges...

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0470538031
• ISBN13: 9780470538036
• Release Date: October 2009
• Publisher: Trade Paper Press
• Length: 272 Pages
• Weight: 1.20 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.9" x 6.5" x 9.6"

Customer Reviews

surprisingly good -- more about relationship management than financial management

Gary Neuman, a rabbi/counselor, and his wife, Melisa, have written a surprisingly good, easy-to-read, straightforward guide that really is about how to strengthen your relationship when money gets tight. I was expecting something that focused much more on the money than on the relationship -- how to save here, how to cut back, how to set a budget, how a save spouse can deal deal with a spender spouse when things are tight. Instead, the focus really is on how to have open, honest conversations about all things, including money, and more specifically, our attitudes about money and the things we use it for. The book's primary message seems to be that most relationships go through challenging stages, and you don't want to let money challenges topple a relationship. We all come to relationships with attitudes toward saving, spending, with certain ideas about what things are necessities and what things are luxuries, about how we like to spend our money. We all have ideas about how to spend money on our children -- should we give them lessons, focus on their education, take them on vacation, make sure they have the clothes they want -- each of us has different priorities. The Neumans don't offer an opinion on what's right and what's wrong -- whether any Ivy League education is worth the additional cost, whether working fewer hours at lower pay is a good option all depends -- but they do outline steps couples can take to open a dialogue on such subject. The focus is on open communication and remembering the love that underlies the relationship. I was a little surprised by the Neumans' encouragement to have fun, stay connected, and to limit conversations about money and financial concerns. The book really is about preserving and improving the relationship despite any money issues that may arise rather than a guide to resolving the money issues.

In Good Times and Bad: Strengthening your relationship gets tough

In Good Times and Bad: Strengthening Your Relationship When the Going Gets Tough and the Money Gets Tight by M Gary Neuman and Melisa Neuman. With our economy and the hard economic times we are all facing, comes a book which discusses how to strengthen your relationship when money is tight. The authors are M Gary Neuman and Melisa Neuman. The book provides relationship advice for couples who are having problems with finances and facing difficult times. The book has so many areas and chapters to help couples and as most of us know if your relationships lacks clear and honest communication, then this can be a great problem within any relationship. The authors inspire your to not to try to handle problems on our own but advise us to incorporate strategies and ways that couples can decide to communicate and work on their marriage and their relationships. I really liked the exercise on page 41 that can quickly let you and your spouse see, what money represents to you. This will help to determine if the money constraints are the issue at hand and at the core of your marital problems or if it may be something different and you are blaming the problem on money. The Neumans' provide several case studies of couples working through their financial and their family problems. Many people have a fear of money and have been paralyzed, allowing their relationship to deteriorate while allowing their finances to dwindle. I really enjoyed this book, and while I would've preferred more financial topics discussed, I understand that that wasn't the authors intention in writing the book. I think this is a helpful book specifically for families trying to keep themselves together, while going through hard economic times. I believe the core message to be is the advice: don't attach each other, attach the problem at hand. I enjoyed the exercises and case studies that the book presented and it definitely made for a good conversation topic with my husband this weekend. Now my daughter has taken over the book to work on her and her husbands money problems in hopes to save their marriage. As she pointed out a newly wed couple with a new baby on the way and a 3 year old son is very hard when both of them are only lucky enough to have part time jobs. I told them they should be thankful they have a job in this economy, there are so many now that have no jobs and are losing their homes and everything else. Hopefully by discussing this book together they will find advise on how to deal with their difficulties and keep their marriage safe. Do you think that this economy has added more stress to your marriage? What have you been doing to stay on track with your family and your finances?

In good times it's easy, in bad times it might be easier

It might be easier with the help of this book. I was looking for something that would help us keep our marriage strong because we have 1 child who just started college, and 1 who will start in 2 years, and we didn't plan for college at all. Now that it's on top of us I want to make sure I don't devour my husband alive, and he doesn't just let me pay the bills and forget it! This book is not down your throat at all. It approaches the things we need to keep our focus on - when times are good, so that if times get tough, we'll be more prepared. Remembering this is the person I married, the person I love, and the person I promised to stick with - even when the times get tough. I like the parts about including the kids, and preparing them for the inevitability of stress, and being more prepared to handle it well. Although we've only been able to do it once; The one-week relationship program was the most important part of the book for us - it was great! The first part...taking 10 minutes to have a thoughtful conversation was nice. With a plan for that conversation, and possible pitfals laid out for us was good. Putting the priority of the relationship before everything else before you actually get into what the concerns are will surely undo any bad habits, if we stick to it every week. The premise of "Date Night" isn't new - we see a counselor just as preventative medicine and to iron out any family/couples/individual issues we might have. Our counselor is big on Date Night for all of his couples, as I'm sure many are. The "Date Night" as it's laid out in the book is remarkably like the one our counselor recommends - esp. mixing it up and having fun with each other - so we don't get bored and give up on our time together. The restrictions are the same as well - certain subjects are off limits. This is a time for building our relationship. Also, the other restrictions which are laid out are right on the mark. As parents of 4 children, ages 7 - 19, not new to the game, we know how true these restrictions are. I won't go into this part any further. I tend to be a little pessimistic, so I was encouraged right from opening the book and looking at the table of contents - no doom and gloom here. All very positive. My husband is very optimistic by nature - bless his heart! So this really was more for me, than for him. I also pay the bills, and tend to spend money when I shouldn't - so I'm the one who needs to get their financial house in order! We've talked as a couple, and also included our kids. We've involved them, and given them their own budget to manage. They see what our family budget looks like, and know some of the mistakes we've made - like not planning as well as we should. Everyone also knows I'm not completely responsible for whether we have the money for something in particular or not - there are many contributing factors. I wish we had been better about planning - like reading these types of books when we didn't need them. For example not

This Is It !!!! No need to look any further !!!

This is the book that all couples need...SERIOUSLY. SOLID, STRAIGHT FORWARD ADVICE from a couple (that have kids too) that keep the flame sizzling. There are a lot of marriage counselors out there who are not happily married. This couple truly sets the example of what a dynamic marriage should be. Not just the talk but they do the walk. I know because I've read his book and my husband and I also counsel with Mr. Neuman. All I can say is AWESOME and no looking back or thinking twice. Especially if YOU are sick and tired of the same outcome and are ready for change.

A Must Read!

Wow! My wife and I have really been struggling over the past couple of years especially during this financial crisis and our marriage has suffered tremendously. We bought a copy of "In Good Times and Bad" and were immediately inspired and motivated to not give up. The one week program really made sense for us and offered practical easy solutions. After just a short time, my wife and I feel we are back on track towards rebuilding a solid relationship and now we see hope again for a bright future. One of the things we never realized is the toll our situation was taking on our children. The book pointed out that keeping them in the dark only made things more scary for them. We are now communicating more effectively as a family and are more sensitive to our kids. Thank you Gary and Melisa! This book has helped to save our marriage and provide renewed hope to our family.