I Surrender All: Rebuilding a Marriage Broken by Pornography

by Clay Crosse

Book Overview

Dove Award-winning artist Clay Crosse and his wife, Renee, share their personal story of his struggle with pornography and how they rebuilt their marriage.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1576837327
• ISBN13: 9781576837320
• Release Date: September 2005
• Publisher: NavPress Publishing Group
• Length: 176 Pages
• Weight: 0.47 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.5" x 5.6" x 8.2"

Customer Reviews

worth the buy!

It was like being able to talk to a friend about the situation. I really appreciated how both sides got to talk separately about their own view of this conflict. It really opened up lines of communication between my husband and me with honesty and not playing the blame-game.

Buy it for your husband

This is a really good book for those husbands who struggle with Pornography, and also for the wives to read...it gives you a Godly perspective of the realities and consequences of the destructive nature of pornography. There are too many cases where marriages are destroyed because of the evil nature of pornography, and the fact that it is so accessible on the internet...this is one of those books that gives a true account of their lives from both the perspective of the husband and the wife. Buy it, you will find it is a very good jumpstart to accountability for your husbands struggle. This is a good companion to use but please be aware that counseling is most important in helping your husband "beat the porn" rap....

A great book for spouses to read together

Unfortunately the use of pronography by both men and women is exploding and draining marriages of the emotional and psychological energy needed for marital bonding. In this book, I Surrender All, both Clay Crosse and his wife describe the devestating effects internet pornography had on their marriage and their slow and painful journey to marital wholeness. A great book for couples to read together. It allows husbands and wives to sometimes reveal their own feelings, through reading Clay and Renee's accounts, that they might never have the courage to say to one another otherwise. This is a wonderful book for all couples, and especially for Christian couples, to use in working this this growing problem.

very encouraging

i appreciated this book so much for being so humble, open and honest and i'm grateful for the fact that a christian recording artist and his wife would open up about this topic which has shamed so many into silence. the enemy has run rampant in this area and men and women need to see examples of how the Lord is able to work and redeem someone out of the bondage of sexual sin, that He is so willing and able to restore all that has been stolen from a christian marriage that's been torn apart...it reinforces the hope i have in the Lord for my marriage and was very encouraging...

An interesting memoir about overcoming issues stemming from pornography

When Clay Crosse married his high school sweetheart in 1990 he wore a white tuxedo symbolizing the fact that he and Renee (in her white gown) had remained virgins until marriage. "We saw this as a way of glorifying God in our wedding ceremony and telling other young couples that it is possible to wait for sex until marriage. As I watched my bride coming down the aisle toward me, I realized God had given me a great blessing in her. In that moment I knew more than ever before that I wanted our lives to be different. I wanted us to stand out from the world and shine for God. Unfortunately, eight years would pass before I would begin to do the work to make this desire a reality." In those eight years Clay Crosse became Clay Crosse: Christian Star. His first single, "I Surrender All," climbed to the top of the charts and the Gospel Music Association named him New Artist of the Year in 1995. His first four albums went on to produce eight #1 singles. But the white suit came back to haunt Clay. Even though he and Renee had remained virgins, Clay hadn't remained pure. He'd become dependant on pornography to sate his sexual desires until he was married. As his career took off, with accolades and money flowing freely, he become increasingly self-centered and his shallow faith couldn't support the weight of his success. He and Renee gradually loosened their standards --- using coarse language, laughing at crude jokes, and viewing movies regardless of sexually explicit content. He was able to justify crossing back into porn use because it didn't feel like that much of a stretch from what he viewed in mainstream media on a regular basis. "When I watched a mainstream movie that contained graphic sexual content and nudity, something stirred inside of me. The old feelings I experienced when I watched pornography before I was married came back. I like them, and I wanted more. As I said a moment ago, the focus of my life increasingly was me and what would make me happy. Pornography fed this hunger, and I knew when I could find it," he writes. That seemingly benign move started a spiral into lust that, two years later, left Clay perched on the edge of an affair. Thankfully, the Lord got Clay's attention and he started to do the difficult work of reorienting his life on God and others rather than himself. It's that difficult work that fills the chapters of I SURRENDER ALL, the book Clay and Renee Crosse have written together about his struggles with pornography and lust, and her struggles to forgive and trust him again. The fact that this issue came to a head for them several years ago, in 1998, gives their advice weight. They've been in the marital trenches and have just enough distance from the dark days to offer light, but are close enough to still have compassion and a sense of urgency about the issue. The couple offers a lot of practical tips for avoiding temptation and supporting a weak spouse. The Crosses also advocate male headship in the household, wh