I Closed My Eyes: Revelations of a Battered Woman

by Michele Weldon

Book Overview

I Closed My Eyes This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 156838341X
• ISBN13: 9781568383415
• Release Date: September 1999
• Publisher: Hazelden
• Length: 262 Pages
• Weight: 0.90 lbs.
• Dimensions: 8.5" x 0.8" x 5.5"

Customer Reviews

An enlightening journey from the dark side

I was in a search for a different book when I saw this one in my favorite bookstore. I wasn't going to pick it up ~~ but when I started reading the first paragraph, I couldn't put it down. Weldon's writing is gripping, brutally honest and so true ~~ and it hit home so close to the dark secrets in your heart.I wasn't in an abusive relationship/marriage for very long but reading this book helps reaffirm my decision to leave my husband ~~ she writes of how bad things were before she finally decided to leave. I left before it got worse and before there were innocent children involved. And after reading this book, I am glad that I left as soon as I did. It is encouraging to read about one woman's trials, fears as it helped me realize that I am not the only one. I too came from a loving stable family ~~ my relationship with my dad mirrors Weldon's. We both love our fathers deeply and they are good men. We both searched for men like our fathers and in the process, got hurt. Weldon's reasons for staying in the marriage mirrors mine. We didn't stay because of low self-esteem, but because we believed in our husbands and encouraged them to be the men we thought we knew they could be. We stayed till there were no reasons left to stay. We can still say to this day that we did everything we could to make our marriages work. We are not failures even though we may feel like that.As for me, seeing the struggles she had with her three sons hit home. I wanted to have children, but something deep inside me told me to wait. I am so glad that I listened to this inner voice because I cannot imagine how much harder it would be for me to leave if I had children with my husband. Reading about Weldon's struggles reaffirmed my decisions to wait. I find myself saying about her husband ~~ what a jerk! If you or anyone you know is in an abusive relationship, I urge you to pick up this book. Though in the midsts of struggles, where you feel the deepest and darkest despairs and fears, there is a glimmer of hope that life will get better. It does ~~ even if it means changing your whole life to escape from the batterer. But once you're outside and "free" you will begin to heal though the scars will always be there. Picking up this book is such a uplifter for me ~~ knowing that I am not the only one who struggled with domestic violence. I also know that I am not alone in my fears and despair. I, who is a professional worker and from a good family, am not the failure. He is. He can change himself but I can't. When I left him, I did feel a sense of relief. There's no more worrying and fears of what he might do next. It's a hard long road leaving someone you love, but when one comes to the realization that he will never change, there's a freedom in knowing that you still have your life left. And thanks to Weldon, I now know that I am not alone in this struggle.

A MUST read for all abused women

When I saw the title of this book in the library, I immediately put it back as I did not want to read about myself. But the title echoed home and it called out to me. Once starting this book, I could not put it down and finished it in the wee hours of the morning. I then cried.This is an EXCELLENT book for all women, but especially for those of you who have been abused or are being abused and DO NOT want to look at reality in the eye. If your eyes are closed, like mine were, this book will compassionately and lovinging open them up and empower you. It took me so long to get out of an abusive situation with 3 children, and like Michele's the abuse still continues, even though the divorce is final. Michele portrays in her story that abuse knows no "class" boundaries - it strikes everyone. Yet, why do we wait so long to remove ourselves from these situations? I guess it is an individual answer.I felt many of the emotions and pain and situations that Michele felt and could just relate so very much to her situation. I cannot thank her enough for being brave and bold enough to share her story with women. This is a MUST read for all people involved with helping women in domestic violence situations.This book will OPEN your eyes if they are shut and I encourage you to read this book for your sake or for those of you who know women who are being abused and for some reason cannot or are unable to leave.This book will DEFINITELY help you heal and/or start you on the path of healing.Thank you Michele - I applaud and commend you.

Superb Book, Invaluable Resource

This personal account of an abusive marital relationship and the healing, transforming journeying out of it is beautifully written and deeply moving. It is all at once heart-wrenching, inspiring, and empowering, and it offers a message of courage, hope, faith, and love. Michele Weldon effectively puts to rest the many fallacies surrounding domestic violence in our culture, and her story illustrates the fact that willingness/ability to respond to domestic violence and abuse continues to be a major challenge for the church in 2000. I CLOSED MY EYES is an invaluable resource for a variety of contexts today, e.g., in seminary pastoral care & counseling courses, clinical social work degree programs. It should be on the bookshelves of our churches and synagogues, domestic abuse shelters, and public libraries. It would be an enormously good read for medical students and interns in our teaching hospitals across the country who, sadly, get little education and training regarding the complex family and societal issues surrounding domestic violence and abuse. All who minister to or care for people caught in the cycle of domestic violence and abuse will learn from this book.

A Must Read For All Women

Michele Weldon does an amazing job of grabbing the reader with her story. It takes an incredible amount of courage to tell the world that your picture perfect life and marriage was a charade -- that you were abused for years by a man who appeared to be "the loving husband." What really touched me most was the ability I felt to relate to the author, as the life she describes is not too far from my own real-life experience. Warning for those of you are presently in an abusive relationship or recently leaving one -- this is so well-written and hits so close to home that it may trigger flashbacks. Nevertheless, it is a must-read for not just victims of domestic violence, but for all women.

A well-written book by a strong woman

Overall, this book is very well written, and it is an important book in terms of understanding domestic violence because it is true. I read this right after reading Black & Blue by Anna Quindlen, and I have to say that this was much better -- the writing was more vibrant and, although I don't know what it's like to be in an abusive relationship, it seemed more real -- her fear was so much more real than Frannie's fear in Black & Blue -- Frannie who moved away and seemed to forget so quickly about the intense fear she had felt for so long. Michele's account is so honest and compelling, so much so that you feel you're there with her painting the walls and going to Sarah's Inn, realizing that the fear doesn't just go away and that it takes an awful lot of work to feel comfortable in yourself again.Toward the end of the book her writing focused more on what she was thinking than what was happening, and at times I wanted to know more about what was happening -- on the one hand, I applaud Michele for moving on and discussing what was going on in her mind and life -- but on the other hand, and I hate to admit this, I wanted to know more about the ex and what was going on with him. I continually felt shock and anger after hearing about his abusive acts, and in a way I wanted to hold onto that anger a little bit more, although I think that overall, it probably was better for this book to end on the more positive note. I loved the way each chapter started with a letter from him. The only thing that frustrated me, though, was that the letters seemed like such a huge red flag -- I thought the guy sounded pretty screwey right from the start, when he seemed to want to cut her off from her family and have her all to himself -- his words in the letters seemed so calculated -- like he read a book about how to cast a spell over women and make them powerless to resist his manly charms, and he wrote these letters with that in mind. I think the letters are there to show a contrast between these supposedly beautiful things he said and how horribly he acted, but I really think that the letters are just creepy. I can understand, though, how easy it is to get caught up in a new relationship with a slick, attractive man, and how easy it is to brush aside any concerns that maybe he's not as wonderful as he seems at first glance. Concerns aside, this is a wonderful book. I read it over the course of one evening and the next day -- I read all day, hardly stopping at all, because I got so sucked into this book I really couldn't put it down. And when I finally did, I wasn't depressed -- I felt good.