I Am Not a Cop!

by Richard Belzer and Michael Black

Book Overview

IN THIS CAPTIVATING, OFTEN HILARIOUS DEBUT MYSTERY, ONE OF THE GREAT COMEDIANS OF OUR TIME BLENDS FACT WITH FICTION, ASLAW & ORDER: SVU'SRICHARD BELZER'S OFF-CAMERA PERSONA COMES TO LIFE ON THE PAGE, EMPLOYING INVESTIGATIVE KNOW-HOW AND COMEDIC TIMING IN EQUAL MEASURE TO SOLVE THE MYSTERY SURROUNDING THE DISAPPEARANCE OF A TRUSTED FRIEND.When Richard Belzer meets Rudy Markovich, nyc medical examiner, for dinner in Brighton Beach, he has little reason...

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1416570667
• ISBN13: 9781416570660
• Release Date: October 2008
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster
• Length: 260 Pages
• Weight: 1.05 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.0" x 6.4" x 9.5"

Customer Reviews

Unique and Entertaining Mystery

The novel, I Am Not a Cop by Richard Belzer was a pleasure to read. In real life, Belzer plays Detective John Munch on Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. This story is unique because he also plays the lead as Richard Belzer in a storyline that finds him searching for his missing friend while dealing with criminals including the Russkies and their involvement in the blood diamond trade. Belzer writes the book from his point of view as he deals with long hours on the set playing Munch, an assistant assigned to keep an eye on him, numerous friends and contacts, and the occasional bad guy who interrupts his day. Belzer writes with great humor and his side comments and similes are often LOL funny. I found this book a surprisingly worthwhile read. I Am Not a Cop!: A Novel

I Am Not a Cop

If you like Munch on Law and Order:SVU, you'll like this book because you can see him doing his thing here. The plot is very clever as Richard as himself is the main character but he is acting like Munch. I read a lot of mysteries and this one was good.

Belzer Gives Us a Great Ride!

Richard Belzer's first foray into fiction, "I Am Not a Cop," is a fine blend of Belz as a self-insert, a character in his own tale of his missing friend, Russian thugs, the rock trade, a Ukrainian boxer, martial arts, a very mysterious redhead and a personal assistant named Kalisha ("Kali") Carter - in addition to various other characters, all of whom are memorable and well-developed. To put it bluntly, this book is one hell of a great ride and a terrific example of Belzer's adeptness with noir lit. After reading his most famous non-fiction work, "UFOs, JFK and Elvis: Conspiracies You Don't Have to be Crazy to Believe," as well as his ghost-writing of Ireland's previous Secretary of State Mo Mowlam's "Momentum"), it was always clear to me the guy knows how to spill his wit by way of the pen. I wondered what was in store for his fiction, especially since his co-author's (Michael Black's) style is very different from that of The Belz. Their styles meshed from the start, leaving me to wonder where one began and the other ended. For those of you unfamiliar with the basic plot, it unfolds with Belz meeting a dear friend, Rudy Markovich, over dinner one night. Rudy's a troubled man, but he won't divulge to Richard exactly why. After a post-prandial brawl with some dangerous Ukrainians, Rudy bids Belz goodnight with the promise to meet him at Madison Square Garden for Alexi Zotkin's boxing match. He never shows, which starts Belz unraveling the mystery of his friend's disappearance. Assigned a personal assistant, the intrepid Kali Carter, to `keep him out of trouble' after his street brawl made the local rag, he and Carter delve deep into a world of Russian diamond traders and political intrigue, all the while shadowed by sleaze-bag reporter Cyrus Gustafson. Balancing his acting responsibilities on "Law & Order: SVU" with his investigative skills, he's also under the near-constant scrutiny of Vernon Franker, "assistant to the assistant" on the show. The pressure continues to ratchet upward on Belz as he and Kali are drawn deeper and deeper into palpable danger. All the while, a beautiful Russian redhead interjects herself into the mix, purportedly because of her unique connection to the missing Markovich. When it seems best for Belz to hire a private investigator to assist in the search for Rudy, things go from dangerous to deadly for both Richard and Kalisha, as Belz contemplates the last time he spoke to his wife and whether or not he'll ever hear her voice again. This noir thriller has a most satisfying - and completely credible - conclusion, which will leave you nodding sagely after the fact over the clue carefully planted along the way. As I said earlier, it is certainly one hell of a great ride. It's also a quick read at 257 fast-paced pages of prose. Those of you looking for the `real' Belz between the pages won't be disappointed. While a reviewer at Publishers Weekly felt there wasn't enough of the acerbic actor on display, I can assure

The Belz does great with his foray into fiction !

I just finished reading the book about 10 minutes ago, and I thought it was very good. I must admit that it was my first mystery novel since my Encyclopedia Brown days, nevertheless I thought Richard Belzer made a terrific entrance into the world of fiction. It is a compelling mystery laced with humorous thoughts, which had me laughing to myself on almost every page. I truly hope he decides to write another book in this genre, because this one was absolutely a great read.

RICK "SHAQ" GOLDSTEIN SAYS: "THE TWILIGHT ZONE OF LAW ENFORCEMENT, WHERE MAKE-BELIEVE & REALITY OV

The author Richard "BELZ" Belzer portrays the infamous TV Detective John Munch on "LAW & ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT" and "HOMICIDE: LIFE ON THE STREET". In addition "Belz has made TV history by portraying Detective Munch in TEN DIFFERENT television series, including "LAW & ORDER", "THE WIRE", and "ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT". What makes this book such a unique read is the melding of reality and criminal fantasy. The story is told from the point of view of real-life star Belzer. He uses his real name... his real job... his real wife and home... but involves himself in a fictional crime mystery. "Belz", as he likes to be called, has dinner with his old friend, Russian immigrant, and soon-to-be former medical examiner, Rudy Markovich. Rudy just isn't his normal self at dinner, and leaves hints as to a problem he won't fully discuss, as they make plans to meet at Madison Square Garden the following night to see Alexi Zotkin a mutual friend, who happens to be defending his Heavyweight Boxing Championship. After dinner as Belz and Rudy leave the restaurant, Rudy is attacked by two Russian/Ukrainian types, and Belz comes to his rescue, dazzling the reader with his otherworldly martial arts skills. These skills become one of a number of ongoing themes in the story, as Belz spends a lot of time at his friendly "dojo", where the proprietor's are like family, and offer sage advice as well as martial art training. When Belz gets to work the next day it turns out that the "New York Inquirer" a local gossip rag, has his picture in the paper from the little "dust-up" he had with the thugs that attacked Rudy. The reader is then introduced to one of Belzer's main foils in the story; assistant producer, Vernon Franker. The reader is led to believe that this is not the first time Belz has brought unwanted publicity to the TV show, so Franker assigns someone to shadow Belzer in an attempt to thwart negative publicity for the show. That someone is KALISHA "Kali" CARTER... "SHE'S BEEN WORKING IN PUBLICITY AND IS NOW YOUR OFFICIAL LIAISON TO THE PRESS." She went to City College and majored in journalism. At first Kali is out of her element as Belz is intent on finding out more about the thugs that attacked his friend... and when Rudy doesn't show up at the boxing match the next night... and is missing... and then linked to four murders... Belz, despite being warned by the police department to not get involved... because... HE IS NOT A COP... he relentlessly drags Kali deeper and deeper into an unlicensed detective investigation. Kali is shocked at first when Belz illegally "tins" himself in to investigation sites, but then she finds herself playing different roles and persona's to help solve the case... and she finds she really enjoys it. They could make quite a team in any subsequent sagas. An ongoing humorous "shtick" throughout the story is how so many people recognize Belz as being a famous personality... but never the right one. After the first fight... the cab d