How to Survive Your Boyfriend's Divorce: Loving Your Separated Man Without Losing Your Mind

by Robyn Todd and Lesley Dormen

Book Overview

With over half of marriages ending in divorce, there are nearly one million American men every year who are being introduced back into the dating world. This text is a survival guide aimed at the... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0871319225
• ISBN13: 9780871319227
• Release Date: September 2000
• Publisher: M. Evans and Company
• Length: 192 Pages
• Weight: 0.65 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 5.6" x 8.7"

Customer Reviews

WOW!! Best book I've read in a long time!!!

I have never written an online book review before, but I was so impressed with this book that I thought I should. As I began reading this book, my jaw dropped at almost every page turn. It was as if the book was written especially for me an my "unique" situation! To know that my situation is NOT unique and that many other women go through the same type of ordeal when dating an almost-divorced man was an absolute relief. The authors did an especially excellent job of bringing me and my emotions back down to earth, and the book also constantly reminded me that although I am in a tough siuation, it's not impossible, I have choices, and I can live my life with an almost-divorced man without losing myself (or my sanity)! I would HIGHLY recommend this book to any woman who is dating a man going through the process of divorce. Worth every penny!!!

But WE are different.....

I have read this book over and over. I have turned to it many times to remind myself of the truths that are not always so self-evident when you are the girlfriend of a man who is not yet divorced....or, what is that word, oh yeah MARRIED. When I began my relationship, I desperately looked for a book that could coach me through what turned out to be one of the most wonderful and most painful relationships of my life. I could find nothing. And why should I have been able to? Who would write a book to help the likes of me? When I saw the title, I was surprised and grateful. A book written just for me! There it was....."How To Survive our Boyfriend's Divorce", which is EXACTLY what I wanted to know how to do. I thank Robyn for writing the book. I thank her for having the courage and compassion to write it. A woman who falls in love with a married man is not necessarily also endowed with horns and a tail, contrary to popular belief. It was so good to read something that addressed me as a person, not a devil, and validated my conflicted feelings in an attempt to soothe the furrowed brow on my own soul. Some of the passages are hard truths to read, to be sure, but if you are the "girlfriend" of a married man in the midst of a divorce, you absolutely NEED to read this book. My own relationship is in limbo now, but it is as Robyn predicted. Many relationships borne out of affairs or struck up in the middle of a divorce, end up there at some point. Many of these relationships simply don't survive at all. Some stay in a state of indefinite flux, some progress, some stagnate, some can withstand the unbelieveable pressure, some cannot. Regardless, it is good to read all the possible outcomes in black and white and reassess what you are doing. Ask yourself where you think you want things to end up as opposed to where they are likely to fall. Denial can be a friend for awhile, but eventually you have to take off those rose-colored glasses and see things as they really are. I believe Robyn's advice helps a person to do that. To be as objective (as possible) within the relationship and to consider that this relationship you have begun (or are currently in) with a married/divorcing man may, in actuality,NOT be much different than other relationships with other married/divorcing men that other women have experienced. He may not be so different. You may not be so different. Certain patterns within this experience DO emerge. Through the book you can begin to evaluate your unique situation as it fits in with what Robyn has learned. She sites many "case studies" and you CAN learn from them. Robyn's unflinching perspective forces you to accept the possibility that "Guess what? This may not turn out happily ever after...."....it is from THAT point that it is safest to continue on....or not. I would love to tell her my story, especially if I thought it could help someone else. Again, thank you.

I'm Not Alone!

My boyfriend and I had just begun the "putting it on hold" process when I bought this book, and although I knew it was the right thing to do, I wasn't sure why I couldn't "fix things" myself without a break. Now I know that I am not alone, and that even being a Cindy Crawford/Mother Theresa combo won't help me get through these difficult times, or make the process go any faster. Like the majority of women who read this book, I too, believed that love could conquer all, and was surprised to find the relationship with my recently-separated boyfriend floundering despite the love that existed. This book truly dropped out of the sky at the right moment for me, reaffirming our decision to take a break, and suggesting many alternatives to help us move forward in the future. I have never been a big self-help reader, but I would encourage anyone even remotely considering purchasing this book to do so. It was worth every penny and triple that! I am on my third read-through and am absorbing more, and in the process, becoming a stronger person AND a stronger partner each time! Thanks so much to the authors for their much-needed work!

Helped me get my sanity back

I got his book about a month ago, and I've read it about 5 times already. I've underlined it, highlighted it, and dog-eared the important pages. If you're involved with a man in the process of a divorce, this book is essential. It pointed out to me what I was doing wrong in the relationship. It also reminded me that I have 3 basic options: I can stay in the relationship, I can put it on hold, or I can leave. This may sound overly simple, but in the midst of the mess of a relationship of this type, you forget the most basic things. I laughed out loud, nodded my head, and actually said "Yes...that's true!" out loud as I read. This book sits next to my bed, and I turn to it almost daily to keep myself centered and on the right track. It gives several real life examples with analysis. The author doesn't mince words either. She realistically lays it all on the line. It's a cold, hard dose of reality, yet it does give you options for trying to make the relationship work. I've read a ton of "self-help" books, and this one is truly worth every penny. My first word of advice: Don't get involved with a divorcing man. My second word of advice: If you do, get this book!

Great advice....for all types of relationships

This is a great book, and it is based on a true premise: if you are a dating female, you have better than a 50:50 chance of running into a man that is separated but not divorced. I know this is true from personal experience. However, many of the tips in the book have a wider application, for example, any relationship that is struggling with communication issues, family difficulties and committment phobias. Being "smart" in any relationship is not always easy and remembering that "your happiness in in YOUR hands" often gets lost along the way. My copy of this book is underlined, check marked, highlighted and dog-earred. It is an excellent read, great style and upbeat. I would recommend it for anyone in a dating situation, especially for those dating separated (or recently divorced) men.