How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty: And Say Yes to More Time, and What Matters Most to You

by Patti Breitman and Connie Hatch

Book Overview

"To this book I say yes, yes, yes!"
--from the Foreword by Richard Carlson, author of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

Find more time and energy for the things you love to do--learn to say no without feeling guilty!

The simple word "no" is often the most difficult to say. Yet anyone can develop the skills to say no with confidence, kindness, and peace of mind. And the benefits are enormous. You'll spend less...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0767903803
• ISBN13: 9780767903806
• Release Date: February 2001
• Publisher: Harmony/Rodale/Convergent
• Length: 272 Pages
• Weight: 0.55 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 5.2" x 8.1"

Customer Reviews

Brilliant ( Long Review )

Only thing that was keeping me from ever reading The Fountainhead were the dozen number of people who recommended it to me. It is a certified guaranteed winner as per most people (most of whom cannot frame a sentence without using words such as "nice" , "intelligent" ,"sweet" etc.) The Fountainhead is impactful,precise,gigantic in it's scope, the work of a mastermind. Ayn Rand shocked me(again) with her control over character definitions and flabbergasting logic. After I had finished reading Atlas Shrugged, I felt a bit cheated and robbed of my time. Don't get me wrong, "A.S" has my favourite book character of all time in Fransisco but it is the "giving in" nature of most characters in Atlas Shrugged that made it seem a bit too harsh to me.There is a certain preachiness in the words of John Galt that didn't really sell consequence. Moving on, about Fountainhead I'd like to say that it has the best and most well conceived perception of a human brain I've read. Some of my favourite characters in the book are Peter Keating, Gail Wynand (the best), Ellsworth Toohey (never has a character been this interesting in his villain own self) and the hero, Howard Roark. One very tactful and intentional foreplay of characters is the fact that they are all unique. You will never once in the book find a flaw or loophole in any of the characters. What I'm trying so hard to say will be better explained by examples. Howard Roark never says more than he thinks he must in this book and often says nothing when you'd expect him to talk. Gail Wynand doesn't ever give away his self respect into the hands of another and never begs anyone. Ellsworth Toohey never gets himself into trouble despite the mind riots he causes most lesser people in the book. Ayn Rand has an astounding quantity of mind. She shocks me repeatedly in this book by adding a shape to certain thoughts every 20 something year old guy goes through. I do not like the part where there is raw love between Howard Roark and Dominique because it seems a bit too barbaric and unrealistic for me to swallow. It's surprising how boring and dull the book became for a few pages when Roark and Dominique Francon meet. There is a certain sarcasm that the book displays in paragraphs containing comments made by the local people. Fountainhead was extremely funny in it's own silent subtle way at times. WHY IS IT BETTER THAN ATLAS SHRUGGED(to me)? I hope I do not offend anyone by comparing the two but like many readers have pointed out, most characters of The Fountainhead grow on you and towards the last few pages your pace of reading declines(intentionally). Gail Wynand with his practicality and adaptation skills makes more of a hero than any of the much exaggerated Atlas Shrugged Characters. Atlas Shrugged is an epic in itself but it doesn't manage to grip you like The Fountainhead does. Most books ignore the character details of the villains but in Fountainhead, Ellsworth Toohey gets a whole lot of pages dedicated to

Brilliant despite stilted dialogue

This is one of the fastest paced books I have ever read. Ayn Rand's characters come to life as she paints very clear pictures of who they are and what they represent. She does this in spite of the fact that the dialogue is sometimes a bit wooden and stilted. In this novel, she sets forth her philosophy of "objectivism." She exposes those, such as a character named Peter Keating, an architect, who seemingly achieve greatness by copying others but somehow give the illusion of originality and creativity. In order to achieve "greatness," Keating was literally willing to sell anything, including his wife. Thus despite wealth and apparant achievement, his life was empty. Rand begins to formulate her values that altruism is an evil because a society which seeks to achieve this must do so at someone's expense and therefore leads to collectivism. In the person of Ellsworth Toohey, a flamboyant newspaper columnist, she shows how the power hungry manipulate the masses by setting a standard of mediocrity which fosters collectivism.This book is full of passion, including a flaming, complex romantic affair between individualist architect Howard Roarke and socialite Dominique Francon. Their relationship develops from one in which they each seek to assert power over the other while achieving sexual release to one of true love between genuine soul mates. Roarke also has a passion for his work and is uncompromising in his creativity in accomplishing his professional goals. He will not ever compromise these goals despite enormous pressures to do so. Rand believed that there is only black and white in moral issues; there is no gray. Therefore, giving in a little is not compromise but rather, selling out your values and giving in to evil. Roarke was not a man to sell out, he had the courage of his convictions.While setting forth her philosophy, Rand has also given us a novel which has a well developed plot. I found the novel to be gripping and I couldn't put it down. Following the career of Howard Roarke and the machinations of his enemies was fascinating. The plot had enough twists to provide surprises and to hold the reader's interest. This book is both an enjoyable novel as well as a challenging philosophical statement. I like Rand's philosophy and I love this book.

How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty

I attended a class that Patti Breitman and Connie Hatch gave in New York, and I just finished reading "How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty". This is a really valuable book, written by two people who are clearly committed to providing important infomation that can be used every day. The book is concise and practical, and is written in a supportive way. It is infused with a sense of ethics that is critical to the subject. It's often very difficult to say no, and to do it in a way that protects the feelings of everyone involved can be very tricky. The authors provide example after example of how to maneuver through this minefield. I highly recommend this book--it has value for virtually everyone, and is a thoughtful and caring gift. Midway through reading "How to Say No...", I gave several copies to some very appreciative friends and relatives. Thank you, Patti Breitman and Connie Hatch, for writing such an important book.

Amazingly helpful book

This book is packed with suggestions and guidance to help learn to stop doing things you don't want to do and start doing the things you do want to do. In a society as sick with codependence as ours is, it's not an easy thing to do -- we've got all kinds of bizarre notions about being polite, being aggreeable, etc. So it takes a lot of effort, learning, and practice to break free. This book shows you how. Additionally, the writing is very good, and the authors have a weird sense of humor that makes their examples just delightful!

For those who know how to think...

I admit it. I was way intimidated by this book when I first picked it up. But upon encountering the very first line, I was immediately drawn into a world that was always there at the tip of my mind (and remains at the tip of everyone's mind - the real question is whether or not people have the integrity to delve into it). Reading The Fountainhead, I felt like the largest fake that I had ever known. What I most admire about The Fountainhead (and the other works by Ayn Rand) is the fact that she can make you look at what you've been taught your whole life and laugh in its face. It's nearly impossible to take an intrinsic society value such as altruism and turn it over to show the inherent evil that most people fail to see. I know I had been blind to this concept for years. However, I wouldn't recommend this book to everyone. Taking the lead from Ms. Rand's ego, I don't think that this book can be enjoyed by those who aren't yet ready to let go of society's hand and take their first step