How to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable: Getting Your Point Across with the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense

by Elgin and Suzette Haden Elgin

Book Overview

As bestselling author Suzette Haden Elgin proves, you don't have tolive your life on red alert. With her Gentle Art of VerbalSelf-Defense techniques, you'll be able to respond clearly tohostile... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1567317391
• ISBN13: 9781567317398
• Release Date: March 1997
• Publisher: Jossey-Bass
• Length: 207 Pages
• Weight: 0.75 lbs.
• Dimensions: 9.2" x 0.7" x 6.1"

Customer Reviews

Learning to disagree

This is a very interesting book. I would recommend this one and any others by this author on this subject. She is very informative, interesting and it holds your attention well. I learned alot and was able to put most of it into practice after reading, especially since she gave scenerios on how to interact with Hostile people.

Good Advice

Good info. It's helpful to hear how to deal with others without getting into a fight if that's what you want to do.

Judo with words

This book is indispensable if you find yourself having to choose between being taken advantage of or being mean. It offers a perspective that allows one to identify verbal hostility and to respond to it in a way that preserves your own balance and can often lead to calming the entire situation and re-establishing connection. It's funny, practical, full of useful examples and a good framework for thinking about hostile language.

A very practical book on handling everyday situations

How to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable is the 12th book in the Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense series. The first three books present the general principles of the Gentle Art and how to use them to handle hostile language coming at you. The remaining books each deal with using these principles in specific situations. Each can stand alone and the ones I have read have been very relevant to their subject. In this book, Dr. Elgin discusses how to impart negative messages or criticism to others without increasing hostility in your language environment. The first part of the book deals with an overview of hostile language and its cost both to society and our personal lives. I thought this information was interesting because the way we use language is taken for granted and it is a fascinating idea that each one making deliberate and thoughtful changes in the way they use language can have a great positive influence in our world. The remainder of the book gives practical ways to pass on negative messages without resorting to hostile language or making an already difficult situation even more so. Where it is applicable, the different ways situations are handled by men and women are discussed. One of the things I appreciated most in this part of the book was the use of scenarios. These dialogues enabled me to see and hear both the way a particular situation is handled and how using that particular technique would be better. Since there are many occasions which require the passing of negative information, this is a very practical book and one I would recommend for everyone. As a volunteer reference librarian in a public library system, I think it would be a good addition to public libraries also.

An extremely strong book

The Gentle Art series is written for "normal" people. Each of the books is written to a different audience and each is very powerful. Few people should read all the books, but those with the specific needs can not find anything better. This book has strong tools you can use in day to day interactions with dialogues, examples and powerfully clean writing.