There is one sure-fire method to avoid being eaten by sharks: Don't go in the ocean. How can you avoid being eaten by sharks? What does it mean to "skateboard" someone? Is there a chance you could be abducted by aliens? Are there zombies hiding under your brother's bed? In this hilarious guide, John Larkin relates his tried and tested advice for navigating the mysteries of life, with a sprinkling of some of the facts...