How Long Does It Hurt?: A Guide to Recovering from Incest and Sexual Abuse for Teenagers, Their Friends, and Their Families

by Cynthia L. Mather, Kristina E. Debye, Kristina E. Debye

Book Overview

How Long Does It Hurt? is the revised and updated edition of the best-selling book written by an incest survivor for future survivors. This step-by-step guide speaks directly to victims of sexual abuse3/4to help them come to grips with what is happening to them and overcome their feelings of isolation, confusion, and self-doubt.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0787975699
• ISBN13: 9780787975692
• Release Date: October 2014
• Publisher: Jossey-Bass
• Length: 267 Pages
• Weight: 0.84 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 6.0" x 8.9"

Customer Reviews

The best book out there!

I am a therapist with a private clinical practice, working primarily with adolescents and women of all ages who are survivors of some form of trauma, including sexual abuse and incest. I have to say, that this is the book I use most, with all ages, including women who are uncovering and dealing with painful abuse memories. Over and over I hear clients proclaim that the book and quotes from other survivors help them not feel so alone and to also understand better what happened to them and to know there is hope. Also, the way in which the author discloses her own incest history and recovery is refreshing and hopeful and establishes a climate of credibility and trust. In my 20 years of clinical practice and training, I have aquired and read $1000's of dollars worth of trauma books and materials and this book sits as one of the top and most frequently used resources. Also, there is a children's book called "BRAVE BART" which has been a wonderful resource for adult survivors as well as children and adolescent survivors. D. (Licensed Clinical Social Worker/Licensed Alcohol and Drug Abuse Counselor)

first real healing experience

This book is great. I started reading books on the subject of sexual abuse when I was 15 (when I told) and am now 19. I have read all of the popular book out there on this subject (paticularly The Courage to Heal by Ellen Bass) and have found others helpful, but none of them have ever compared to How Long Does it Hurt. It helped me a lot to realize that what happened to me was horrific and was really abuse and that it was okay for me to feel the things that I did. I'd recommend this book to any and every survivor out there. Teenager or not. It very well could be a lifesaver.

How long does it Hurt?

I work as a Treatment Specialist in a Residential Program for Teenage Girls and recently utilized this book as part of the Survivors Curriculum which we offer at our facility. The girls with whom I work report that this book helped them more than any other resource which we offered. They suggested that the things which they liked best were: 1/ The book walked them through some of the processes and stages of their movement toward healing and, 2/ It gave them a sense of control over what had happened to them because it answered a lot of their questions about the legal processes involved in disclosure, things to expect from family members and how to continue to pursue healing. It was remarkable for me to see one young woman pass the book on to various girls within the program who were otherwise afraid to ask for help and to share the book with them. I think that the authors have done a wonderful job of making information accessible to both young women and older women alike in an appealing format which a reader can return to again and again when questions arise.

This Book is Truly a Life-Saver

I bought this book two years ago at age 18. It has become a type of bible for me. It answered all the questions that were swarming around in my head and let me know I wasn't alone. I've highlighted passages to discuss with my therapist or my family and I re-read it regularly. I recommend it to anyone who has has or knows someone who has been abused.

A must read book before extended family conversations begin!

This book explains all aspects of what incest is and what incest is not. It answers all the questions your extended family will ask, the way they will respond to the news, and what to do about it. I feel it is very important to have all family members read this book before you talk to them about the incest. It will answer many of their questions before they need to be asked. This will reduce the amount of stupid talk and unnessesary pain, guilt and anger that is associated with the victim after they hear of the stupid talk uninformed people make. If one of the worst nightmare's possible has happened to one of your children then please get this book, read it, pass it on to your family members before you talk to them about it and save your child from being victimized any more.