How Good Do We Have to Be?: A New Understanding of Guilt and Forgiveness

by Harold S. Kushner

Book Overview

"If there were a quick fix for our troubled globe, it would be the profoundly tolerant message, teeming with humanity, at the heart of this book." --Thomas Moore
From the author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People comes an inspiring new bestseller that puts human feelings of guilt and inadequacy in perspective -- and teaches us how we can learn to accept ourselves and others even when we and they are less than perfect. How...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0316519332
• ISBN13: 9780316519335
• Release Date: September 1997
• Publisher: Back Bay Books
• Length: 192 Pages
• Weight: 0.39 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 5.0" x 7.2"

Customer Reviews

Good book

Though I am a Christian, I really got a lot from this book. Kushner is a great writer. I don't agree with his interpretation of Adam and Eve for a few good scriptural reasons, however, the point he is making is most certainly worthy to be contemplated, and Kushner organizes his ideas in a thoughtful manner. In some ways his interpretation matches C.S. Lewis in relaying that the Adam and Eve story is a story (myth) about how humans became conscious of sin.

Bless Your Imperfections

I don't know if it is because I've read 3 other books by Rabbi Kushner, or because from the first words to the last words reading this book I feel like I am having a conversation with him. This includes many questions about life, the human condition, and religion that I have carried with me for a long time.If someone had mentioned religion, God, or related words to me before discovering both Rabbi Kushner, and Dennis Prager, I would have been ready to bolt for the nearest door, because that had signaled what I called "Bible-thumpin time."So, no matter where you stand on religion, politics, or the human condition, I invite you to open your mind to the possibility of forgiveness.With the subtitle being "A New Understanding of Guilt and Forgiveness," it's nice to notice that throughout this book Kushner discusses many examples of what guilt has been for us.He uses "The Original Sin;" "Paradise Lost;" and many other stories that show how we have interpreted God's expectations of us to mean that we are born sinners who must become perfect. Which of course is not, as he points out, God's expectations of us.Kushner adds, "My experiences as a clergyman and a counselor has taught me that much of the unhappiness people feel burdened by, much of the guilt, much of the sense of having been cheated by life, stems from one of two related causes: either somewhere along the way, somebody - a parent, a teacher, a religious leader - gave them the message that they were not good enough, and they believed it. Or else they came to expect and need more from the people around them --- their parents, children, husbands, or wives - than those people could realistically deliver."His suggestion is that the story of the Garden of Eden is the story of the first human beings graduating from the uncomplicated world to knowinging that good and evil exists; and that what is most important to us, as human beings is to live with integrity.This book also suggests that if Adam and Eve had not eaten from the Tree of Knowledge, they would not have had needs, feelings, or individual thoughts. So, it would not have mattered what happened around them. A year ago, I asked a prominent religious leader in San Diego, "Do you believe that the active members of your church know what religion means to them - not your interpretation, theirs?"This got his attention, and began a great collaboration.Religion, as Rabbi Kushner describes in this book is, "... the voice that says, I will guide you through this minefield of difficult moral choices, sharing with you the insights and experiences of the greatest souls of the past, and I will offer you comfort and forgiveness when you are troubled by the painful choices you made."Imagine if millions are guided by Rabbi Kushner's definition of religion - wouldn't we be more accepting of unique differences?Wouldn't we accept our limitations - and, by accepting them, evolve beyond our wildest dreams?Wouldn't we simultaneously be enough, while we win mor

A Spiritual Sigh of Relief

I was asked recently in my bible study group who I would most like to meet. It was an easy answer -- Harold Kushner. I struggled for many years (after a private Baptist school upbringing) to come to terms with my doubts about God, who was presented to me as a cruel, vengeful God. My struggle turned toward anger. After reading Rabbi Kushner's book, I felt as if a great weight were lifted from me. My soul just seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. God, as introduced by Rabbi Kushner, makes sense to me now. I have begun to see that God has simply been poorly represented by so many. This book gave me (a hard sell if there ever was one) peace. I began to study the Bible with new eyes. I began to look at myself and others with greater compassion. This is a simple book -- with life altering implications. Buy this book. Read this book. Share this book with others. (Note: Kushner's other books are wonderful as well!)

One of the Best "Self-Help" Books Ever

I'm not much on self-help books, and I really never have been. Three years ago, a college course required me to pick up a self help book and evaluate it. This just happened to be the book I picked up- and by the end of the very day I picked it up, I was finished with it. Since then, I have used it as a reference to help me clear guilty/remorseful/vengeful/spiteful & other mentally draining thoughts from my head.Kushner has a God-given ability to write from the very depths of his soul, and in doing so, he creates an instant rapport with his readers- one that hits them in the heart emotionally, and causes the reader to sit and reflect often.His "arguments" are wonderfully explained, some may be too "radical" for those who are of the Christian Right mentality, but Kushner defends his points with flair, and a deep down desire to find true meaning in our daily lives. Kushner reveals incredible, thought provoking stories and parables of his life- soem of bliss, some of personal discovery, and some of hardship and pain- and all of these stories are pertinent and relevant to the material at hand.If words make you cry, several of these stories, and several of these conclusions may just hit a soft spot, even for those who are hardened.Guilt and Forgiveness- to incredibly difficult subjects that the "human condition" has a hard time dealing with. Kushner takes the reader by the hand, calms you, and walks you down a road and path that more people should consider taking.If you read any self help book, read this one.

Help if you think you need to be perfect

I've been trying to learn that it's ok to be imperfect, and reading this book has been very helpful to me. I'm not even totally sure what "God" is, but I did grow up Jewish and with a sense that no matter what I did, I wasn't good enough. It's nice to think that trying hard is enough for God.

One Day of Reading - A Whole Lifetime of Guilt Removed!

Having been raised in a family of six children, I was certainly able to relate to the sibling rivalry that existed because of original sin. This book was read in one day, and removed from me a whole lifetime of guilt from not understanding the bigger picture of my family's hardship. All of my other brothers and sisters are getting this book as a present this year, so that they too can understsand how God's love for us as individuals overcomes any childhood adversity we may have had. In addition, the myth of how Eve was created as a second to Adam was destroyed forever. Now as I prepare to enter into a marriage with 'my better half', I am able to realize the importance of finding the other person that completes you spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Thank you Harold Kushner!