Holding Time

by Martha G. Welch

Book Overview

"Holding time" is a breakthrough parenting strategy-a revolutionary approach to mother-child bonding that can make all children happier, more cooperative and more self-confident. This simple, scientific program is based on the nurturing bond that forms when you hold your child. With regular holding time sessions, you'll see your children become more loving and less demanding as your own self-esteem grows. Dr. Welch has already enjoyed remarkable success...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0671688782
• ISBN13: 9780671688783
• Release Date: October 1989
• Publisher: Fireside Books
• Length: 254 Pages
• Weight: 0.68 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.7" x 5.5" x 8.4"

Customer Reviews

God Bless Dr. Welch

I would like to express a deep admiration for Dr. Welch and her 26+ years experience with her Holding Time therapy. It is not a fad therapy, but is based upon the findings of Nobel Prize-winning Ethologist Niko Tinbergen and attachment theory scientist John Bowlby. Tinbergen devoted the last ten years of his life to bring attention to Dr. Welch work. Welch Holding Time therapy applies the findings of these two scientists and other findings in neuroscience - mainly that behavior is conditioned, and that conditioned behavior can be changed. Dr. Welch has proven this through her treatment of reactive attachment disorder, ADD, ADHD, as well as a wide range of behavioral problems, including Autism. Dr. Welch is not only a practicing psychiatrist of long standing, she is a respected neuroscientist doing research at Columbia University in New York City with some of the world's foremost scientists. She is about to publish her findings on the brain chemistry that makes Holding Time work.Readers should remember that families who attend Dr. Welch's intensive treatment sessions have children who exhibit extreme behavioral problems. The book, Holding Time, was written by Dr. Welch to help the average family experiencing behavioral problems. People who attend her intensives are desparate - their children, adopted or not, are often so far out of control that if they cannot be helped they will be institutionalized. I have witnessed two consecutive intensive treatment sessions in which the principals of Holding Time have been employed. I found them to be miracles of healing to the 15 families that participated. All of the families that I witnessed left with dramatically changed children and new Holding Time parenting tools with which they could manage their child's behavior at home.Please keep an open mind. Buy the book and read it. See the videos and CD's available... To those critics of Holding Time, consider the source. Above all, try Holding Time with your child. The results are uniformly positive, regardless of family history. Connection, once experienced, extends to all other relationships and fosters empathic behavior. Isn't this what we're trying to achieve? God bless Dr. Welch.

You Gotta Read It!

My sister introduced me to this book. She found it at the local library. It was an answer to our prayers! PLEASE read this book, and try it on your children! It has made an incredible difference in my life and the lives of my four children. This idea of "Holding Time" is so incredibly much better than the other forms of discipline out there--time out, spanking, etc. It is a great way to get "angries" out in a safe way. It not only helps the child learn to communicate their feelings, it helps moms learn patience and self discipline too. I love it and would VERY HIGHLY recommend it to you. I plan to buy a copy for myself for future reference, one for our church, and for several of my close friends. My little girl (age 3) is a totally different child after starting holding. She expresses her feelings much better (instead of screaming or throwing a tantrum) and has fantastic eye contact. She actually ASKS for Holding Time! My 7 year old son has also opened up verbally, and doesn't demand attention through bad behavior (stealing, lying, etc.)"Holding Time" is very much worth the $. I thank God for it, and also Martha G. Welch, M.D.!

Bonding to Access Unconditional Love

I would like to express a deep admiration for Dr. Welch and her 20+ years of experience with this therapy. It is not a fad therapy, but is based upon the findings of Nobel Prize-winning Ethologist Niko Tinbergen and attachment theory scientist Bowlby. Holding Therapy applies the findings of these two and other scientists -- mainly that behavior is conditioned, and that conditioned behavior can be changed -- to the treatment of autism, reactive attachment disorder and other behavioral problems. Dr. Welch is not only a psychiatrist, she is a neuroscientist, about to publish her findings on the brain chemistry which makes holding therapy work.People who attend her intensives are desperate - their children, adopted or not, are often so far out of control that if they cannot be helped they will be institutionalized. I have witnessed in two consecutive intensives, miracles of healing using this technique. Understanding the brain chemistry which is triggered makes the process comprehensible and deepens wonder at Nature's compassion for our egregrious parenting errors.It seems there exists an energetic web to save us when we fail to connect with each other, lying just behind the facade of our adaptive personality traits and coping mechanisms. That energetic mesh is unconditional love, the activity of connection, the stimulus to unlimited intelligent evolution.Holding Therapy places the mother on top of the child on a soft mattress, belly-to-belly, nose to nose,eyes gazing into eyes, breath circling from one body to the other. It's intimate, it's "in your face." What this position simulates, the feeling it engenders in both mother and child, is that experience after birth when the infant is held tightly and securely by the mother, protected and enclosed, indeed defined by the mother's touch. This feeling releases brain chemicals which induce bonding. Far from being "abuse," this tight holding simulates the symbiotic, synchronous condition of the newborn child and mother. The mother licks the child's face lovingly, and this action directly releases oxytocin in the brains of both mother and child. Once oxytocin is released, a whole new biochemical environment is created and a new set of behavioral responses to life conditions is permanently instituted within each organism. Thus mother and child both will never act the same as they did before this bonding peptide was released. The therapy needs only to be repeated by the mother and the child, cementing intimacy and one-on-one communion into their daily life. The results are immediate and awe-inspiring. Please keep an open mind -- read the book, and see the videos, and, if possible, do it yourself. The results are uniformly positive, regardless of the family history. Connection, once experienced, extends to all other relationships and fosters empathic behavior. Isn't this what we're trying to achieve? God bless Dr. Welch.

Holding Time

I am an educational psychologist who was noticing some minor but persistent behavior and emotional concerns with my two children. My daughter was short-tempered and very sensitive to any criticsm. My son was somewhat distant and did not often like to be held or kissed. I was familiar with attachment theory but was looking for a way to use it myself. I found this book in a bookstore and used the Welch method in a modified way (I could never hold them against their will). The results were so gratifying-I still am amazed when I think of my children's response to being really listened to and connected with on this deep level. The theory helped me understand their behavior at other times too. My children are teenagers now and I am still reaping the benefits of the physical and emotional closeness that we were able to establish. It took lots of effort for me to implement this radical method, even in a modified way, but holding time with them was of great and lasting value for our family.

"Holding Time Is Absolutely *Not* Abusive.

Occasionally I have heard or read comments about Holding Time that include false information, and would like to correct some of them and encourage everyone to read the book. It was *not* designed for autistic adults. I know this, because my family has worked with Dr. Welch in her offices in New York City and she told us how it developed, as she also does in the book itself. Holding Time was developed by Dr. Welch for autistic children, and has since been shown to be remarkably successful in helping all children, including those described as "normal". I believe anyone who finds Holding Time to be abusive either has not read the book, or is simply not applying the technique correctly. In this case, they should contact a therapist who is specially trained in attachment issues. Having worked with Dr. Welch and seen the truly remarkable results she's brought about with our two girls, I find myself telling all my friends about the technique and encouraging them to try it with their own children. So many of the problems associated with child rearing can be eliminated with Holding Time. Whereas "Time Out's" teach children that their emotions are not acceptable and that they must get out of the parent's sight, Holding teaches that *no* emotions, including anger, are unacceptable and that anger does not negate love. Through Holding, you can experience a degree of joy and love you would not have thought possible. I honestly believe that many of the problem kids in our society who are now problem adults would not be committing crimes or hurting anyone if they had been "held" as children. I'm reminded of the words of the great anthropologist Margaret Mead who said (and I paraphrase), "Is it possible for one person to change the world? Indeed, that's all that ever has." Please don't be afraid of Holding Time. Read the book, get help from an attachment specialist or call Dr. Welch if you need to, but try it. Best wishes to everyone.