Heroics for Beginners

by John Moore

Book Overview

Prince Kevin Timberline must retrieve Ancient Artifact Model Seven from the clutches of the evil Lord Voltmeter--He Who Must Be Named--before said evil Lord unleashes his Diabolical Plan. Luckily, Kevin wields a secret weapon that will cause the forces of Darkness to tremble: The Handbook of Practical Heroics.

• Format: Mass Market Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0441011934
• ISBN13: 9780441011933
• Release Date: August 2004
• Publisher: Ace Books
• Length: 246 Pages
• Weight: 0.25 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.7" x 4.2" x 6.9"
• Age Range: 18 years and up
• Grade Range: Grade 12 and higher

Customer Reviews

in the beginning

I started the terry pratchett novels well into his career. I have to say that this book is as good if not slightly better than Pratchetts first book. It's clever and witty, the part where we learn Voltemeters true desire for his future is great writing, Brutal repressive taxation with the yearning to lord over people, great. If you really like Terry Pratchetts fantasy writing you have to give this book a try. It is like reading Terry Pratchet when he first started out.

How to Beat the Pros

Prince Kevin Timberline has a problem. He has worked very hard to win the political approval necessary to win the hand of a princess he loves but a dangerous Ancient Artifact has been stolen from her country. Her hand is offered to the hero who returns the Artifact. Kevin is not a hero but a rival suitor is. A full scale assault will be made on the Evil Overlord but Kevin may have an ace up his sleeve. Kevin is armed with a copy of THE HANDBOOK OF PRACTICAL HEROICS. With this book he hopes to succeed where all others have failed before him. But Kevin learns that there are things the book does not cover, such as what to do when the Princess insists on accompanying you. Not to mention the alchemist, University positions, and a whole load of other details that keep getting in the way. So how does Kevin manage to continue his mission and keep the rival hero from winning the princess? Well, you will have to read the book to see if he does. John Moore hit the scene with SLAY AND RESCUE and recently released THE UNHANDSOME PRINCE. While those book specialized in the parody of fairy tales and the application of reality to them, this one takes one heroic fantasy and hits it on the head in the same way. Find out how an Evil Overlord climbs the social ladder to his position. See how benefits can get others to work for you. See how research grants can affect a kingdom. See more reality bump into traditional fantasy concepts in ways guaranteed to crack a smile and cause a few laughs. If you have enjoyed his other books, this one will not disappoint.

Job Opening: Evil Overlord. Bring Own Ancient Artifact

It's been a while since I've read a straightforward fantasy comedy (as opposed to Terry Pratchett, whose books are comedic fantasy with a point), so maybe that's why I was definitely in the mood for John Moore's Heroics for Beginners. This story is so light that it would blow away with a stiff wind. Yet it's oddly enjoyable with a lot of silliness, poking fun at almost every fantasy convention that's out there. Evil Overlord? Check. Dark castle with air vents for easy Heroic access? Check. The cover tells anybody who picks it up that "this will be a silly book." I really liked it, though whether you will depends on how much silliness you can put up with. Prince Kevin Timberline, of Rassendas, is one of the four finalists to woo the "Ice Princess" of Deserae, not to mention her father and the other councilors who must agree to any wedding. His main adversary is Prince Logan of Angostura, a military genius and veteran of many wars. Then, the unthinkable happens, and word is received that Ancient Artifact Number 7 has been stolen by Lord Voltmeter (He Who Must Be Named) for whatever Diabolical Plan he has cooked up. Whoever rescues the artifact will probably win the girl too, so Prince Kevin is determined to beat Logan to the punch, especially after reading Robert Taylor's Handbook of Practical Heroics. Will Kevin be able to do it? What is Lord Voltmeter's Diabolical Plan? Is it different than any other Evil Overlord's Diabolical Plan? And will it involve an Evil Overlord's Assistant for Kevin to seduce? And just how will they get out of the Fortress of Doom's gift shop? Many things in Heroics for Beginners made me laugh out loud. Some others made me groan the way a good pun makes you groan. And then there are bits that made me groan in pain. This book is very self-referential, using fantasy stereotypes as sources of comedy, as when Valerie, Voltmeter's assistant, is told to dress more like an Evil Overlord's Assistant, with her high leather boots and spiked heels. Lord Voltmeter is all prepared to tell the captured Logan his plan, as all Evil Overlords do just before leaving the hero to die, but he doesn't feel that Kevin's worth it when he discovers that Kevin is not Logan. A lot of these jokes work by catching you off guard, though they do grow tired after continual use (such as Valerie's clothes, said joke being used multiple times). One that didn't grow tired, because Moore uses it in different ways each time, is the ventilation shaft joke. It's introduced in the opening scene with Thunk the Barbarian, but is made even funnier as the Fortress guards try to convince Kevin to use it to get into the castle (a sign says "LOCKED OUT? TRY OUR EXTENDED HOURS. VENTILATION SHAFT OPEN UNTIL 10 P.M.). However, the original bits of comedy are often funnier as they hit the reader and then go on their way. Some of these bits are short while others are long. I found the safety posters in the torture chamber especially amusing. A

mythically reminiscent of Robert Asprin

The Prince of Rassendas, Kevin Timberline is in the kingdom of Deserae to spy for his countrymen and to find a way to persuade Princess Becky's father to allow him to marry his daughter. They are both in love but the survival of the Kingdom takes precedence over true love and it is Prince Logan who is picked to head the armies to fight and defeat Lord Voltmeter whose Fortress of Doom lies in the town of Angst. The king of Deserae is warned because Voltmeter stole Artifact Model Seven which when combined with the Diabolic Device becomes a weapon of mass destruction. Prince Kevin is determined to marry his true love and sneaks out of the palace and goes to the Fortress of Doom posing as a ventilation shaft cleaner. Princess Becky follows him to act as his comic sidekick, but she ends up in the dungeon needing him to free her while he also must find the artifact before his rival arrives to claim it and Becky but first they must find away of neutralizing Voltmeter. This is an excellent tongue in cheek parody fantasy that pokes fun at all the elements of a sword and sorcery novel. The humorous HEROES FOR BEGINNERS takes sly shots at archetypical heroes of the genre and fans will appreciate how the laughs do not detract from the seriousness of the storyline and will find they want to read more books by John Moore, an author mythically reminiscent of Robert Asprin. Harriet Klausner