Here's Your Sign!

by Bill Engvall

Stupid people are everywhere "Last summer," says Bill Engvall, "I got a flat tire and pulled into a gas station lot. The attendant walked out, looked at the tire, and asked, 'Tire go flat?' I kept a straight face and replied, 'No, I was driving down the road when all of a sudden those other three just swelled right up on me.'Without batting an eyelash, he nodded his head and said, 'Yep. The heat'll do that.' What else could I say? I just reached intomy...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1401602347
• ISBN13: 9781401602345
• Release Date: January 2005
• Publisher: Thomas Nelson Inc
• Length: 160 Pages
• Weight: 0.78 lbs.
• Dimensions: 9.5" x 0.5" x 8.5"

Customer Reviews

You can be sincere and still be stupid!

Bill Engvall has taken a subject, known to us all, and made an art of it. The world abounds in stupidity.In fact, there is so much of it around that the old adage of "You Can't See The Forest For The Trees",certainly applies in spades.The only thing,we must be observant,else we overlook the stupididity that is continually thrown at us,particularly in the form of idle questions. Most people put their mouth in motion before their brain is engaged;and that is when stupidity reigns supreme. I am sure you've heard many times that "There's no such thing as a stupid question". Well,nothing could be further from the truth,as Bill Engvall shows us in this collection of questions,replies and illustrations.I purposely use the term reply rather than answer;because a reply,and the more sarcastic the better, is what is warrented.He gives us over 300 examples of stupid questions and the appropriate replies they so well deserved.I am sure you have had many just as stupid questions directed at you,but without giving them the reply they merit;you probably just politely gave an answer; and that if you gave it some thought ,was just as stupid as the question.The only reason such stupid questions persist,is that we encourage it by polite "answers". We must be vigilant ,especially when we are doing something,and someone approaches,thinking it to be their bound duty to ask a question,any question, as long as it breaks the silence. A good "reply" to a stupid question should be an art for all of us to develop. End the end,even the questioner will get a laugh out of it. Here are a couple of personal experiences; One day when I arrived late for class, the teacher who I really liked, and thought that he had a great sense of humor;interrupted the class,struck a commanding pose and said,"Now,Mr.Guild,And would you like to explain to all of us ,why you are late today?" Almost as if struck by a bolt of wisdom from on high,I replied ;"Well,Mr.Carter,the bell rang before I got here." ..it took a couple of minutes before the laughter subsided,even for Mr.Carter. On another occasion,while standing outside the lecture hall at University,a group were smoking.Someone had butted out a cigarette in front of the dook.The Professor ,in arriving spotted the butt, pointed,and said;"Whose cigarette butt is that?" Some student,really on the ball,replied; "I guess it's yours Sir;you spotted it first."...end of discussion,and on to the lecture ,with everyone smiling!! This book is a great introduction to an art everyone should develop;even if they keep their replies to themselves. Never forget though ; If one is ignorant,they can always learn,but stupidity is permanent.

Laugh till it hurts

When I read this book I thought I was going to hurt myself. The next best thing to this book is seeing Bill Engvall in person.

Down Home Funny

As I read this book, I could hear Mr. Engvall's voice. His delivery and timing are as good in his writing as in his shows. You will find a piece of yourself in many of these hilarious stories. Highly recommended.