Here's What We'll Say: Growing Up, Coming Out, and the U.S. Air Force Academy

by Reichen Lehmkuhl

Book Overview

Reichen Lehmkuhl was playing the role of his life while in the Air Force. Not wanting to face a court martial for being gay, he had to live in a world where he had to watch everything he did and said for fear of being outed; and in another world where he was free to be himself. "One of the hardest things for me to reconcile was the fact that I was completely open with my family and friends but faced the very real possibility of being court martialed...

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0786717823
• ISBN13: 9780786717828
• Release Date: September 2006
• Publisher: Da Capo Press
• Length: 368 Pages
• Weight: 1.45 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.2" x 6.4" x 9.0"

Customer Reviews

An Amazing Story of Hardship, Courage, and Discovery

My interest in Reichen's book began a few weeeks ago after I saw an article saying that he and his boyfriend, former *NSYNC star Lance Bass, had received threats because of the book. It was all over the news. I picked up the book to see what all the fuss was about that would make people sink as low as to threaten another human being. What I found was an amazing story of hardship, courage, and self-discovery. Reichen details the intense training he had to endure in basic training as a student at the Air Force Academy. He also speaks of the struggles as he tried to come to terms with his sexuality. Most importantly, he speaks of the struggles he and fellow cadets faced as they tried to live a double life, one under the strict rules and code of the U.S. military and the Don't Ask Don't Tell policy and one as a gay American. The courage they showed as they faced these challenges was very admirable. Kudos to you, Reichen. May you have a lifetime of true happiness...

Buy it and read it!

It appears that there are some people who, for their own ignorant reasons, refuse to buy or read this book. There are others who, even after reading it, are too moronic to understand the importance of it. 'Here's What We'll Say' is a detailed memoir of a man who many insist on pre-judging based on what they've seen on television. It took an incredible ammount of bravery for this book to even be written and I'm glad it has been. Reichen Lehmkuhl has shown that while there are things in his life that he is proud to have done, there are many other things that he is not proud of. He takes us back to his childhood where he was constantly made fun of and abandoned. He shows us the obstacles and terrors he has overcome to become who he is today. Most importantly he is exposing to the world an atrocity that has caused countless cadets their careers and their dignity. If you will not buy this book because of you're pre-judgement of the man who wrote it, buy it to educate yourself about the horrific injustice that is being done to the men and women who have volunteered their lives to serve your country and the ammount of tax dollars you are spending to discharge those men and women and waste that service. While most people would prefer to be ignorant and apathetic, I hope you buy this book and read it in it's entirety and open your eyes to one of the many travesties that this country is responsible for.

A straight perspective

As a heterosexual-groupie-of-a-certain-"boy-band"-from-the-nineties-woman, I bought this book because I was interested in it's author. I wanted to know more about Reichen. After the first few pages, I found it hard to put this book down. I learned a lot more than I was expecting to learn! I have gay friends, but this book was a lot of insight into coming out, especially in the military. I find it hard to believe that even today there are such "regulations" as "Don't Ask, Don't Tell". And, to be honest, I (as I'm sure A LOT of people are) was ignorant. I thought it was something used to protect gays in the military. I know that to be completely FALSE now and I agree that it should not be tolerated any longer in today's society. If you enjoy getting an insight into issues of today's society, whether you're hetero or homo-sexual, I suggest reading this book. Educate yourself and get a first-hand point of view into something most people will never experience. Read it!!!

More Revealing that the Author Realized

I rated this book five stars because of the author's willingness to tell so much about himself (good and bad) and his leadership against the military's DADT policy. I need to say upfront that I am gay, was drafted into the Army in '67 and served in Vietnam (hated every minute) and grew up in the same conservative Massachusetts' community as Richen Lehmkulm. I have never meet Reichen and never watched the reality TV shows on which he has appeared. I am aware that Reichen is a controversial person in the gay community. The first half of "Here's What We'll Say" takes Reichen from childhood through high school. My life was very similar to Reichen's. He did a good job of describing what junior high and high school is like in rural, less liberal communities of Massachusetts. Reichen's big issue during the Mass. years was feeling inferior and angry because he lived with his mom and step father in a trailer park. Some anger is still there, because Reichen names the two people who were class bullies and picked on him in the 7th and 8th grades. He states that they must be gay, even though both men are married and have many children. Reichen provides no proof that either man is gay. Reichen learned to love flying planes from his beloved grandmother and secured a slot at the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs. He did well in the various training programs and showed leadership potential before his freshmen year (equal to basic training and advanced infantry training). By his second year, it is obvious that Reichen has no respect for most of the rules and training underclassmen requirements of the Air Force Academy. Many of the rule and regulation may be ridiculous, but even I (a mere draftee) understood the underlining purpose behind the rules better than Reichen. If it ever occurred to Reichen that his love of flying and nothing else were fairly slim reasons for attending the Air Force Academy, he never mentions it in the book. Reichen was able to have a fairly active gay sex live at the Air Force Academy and helped others navigate around the horrible Don't ask, Don't tell policy. This is the best part of the book. Reichen is not afraid to show both his good qualities and his arrogance in full bloom. Finally the author atributes his low history grades freshmen year to his poor skills at "understanding chains of events." Yet his book is full of detailed chains of events in his life. Understanding chains of events is my best skill. Yet, I couldn't come close to writing such a detailed book about my life. Reichen does acknowledge those who helped him with the book, but I believe that he received much more help than he is admitting. Despite all these reservation, I still rate this book 5 stars. Based on the book, my guess is that Reichen will take strong exception to my critical comments, if he ever sees this review. But, I hope I am wrong on that.

amazing

this book was an amazing story. it told you everything you wanted and didn't want to know a/b both reichen and the air force academy. there are some things that happen in this book that are both terrifying and saddening. it shows you that something really has to be done w/ the "don't ask, don't tell" policy. some of the things he tells you about just breaks your heart like his sexual assault and his friends attempted suicide after his boyfriend was removed from the academy after peolpe squealed on him. this is a must have that will enlighten you to things you never knew happened and still happens. this is a better book then i could ever say.