Help Me Live: 20 Things People with Cancer Want You to Know

by Lori Hope

Book Overview

When we hear that someone close to us has been diagnosed with cancer, we want nothing more than to comfort them with words of hope, support and love. But often what we say sounds disingenuous,... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 158761149X
• ISBN13: 9781587611490
• Release Date: September 2011
• Publisher: Clarkson Potter/Ten Speed
• Length: 288 Pages
• Weight: 0.73 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 5.9" x 8.3"

Customer Reviews

Hope Sparks HOPE

As a cancer survivor and caregiver, I found this book not only needed but essential. With sensitivity and warmth, it tackles an important subject that must be addressed. As much as we all wish, cancer is not going to go away anytime soon. One in two American men and one in three American women will be diagnosed with cancer in their lifetimes. Survivorship has become a national priority and it will continue to grow. So what do you say to someone whose life has been turned upside down by a cancer diagnosis? Hope interviewed scores of cancer survivors asking them bluntly about the comments and actions that helped them most, as well as those that wounded. Her book is a practical outline on how to truly help and be present in a cancer survivor's life. More important, is it a storybook full of tales (some quite funny) that illustrate words and actions that have helped or hurt. I have given copies of this book to many intelligent and sensitive but uniformed people -- people who have asked things like, How much time does the doctor think you have? How much life insurance do you have on your husband? As more and more cancer survivors thrive, we become a force to be reckoned with. Cancer survivors should not feel slighted in addition to all the other issues they must face. No one can take the disease away, but Hope gives those who have friends and loved ones dealing with the disease an honest and practical blueprint for truly respecting and understanding their needs. Hope has become a spokeswoman for communicating with compassion and her articles and presentations are truly changing the way we talk about cancer and surviving. What Hope has done for the survivorship movement is remarkable. Her book should be required reading for doctors, nurses and anyone entering the health care profession, as well as anyone touched by cancer.

Delivering Hope

Lori Hope's book addresses an issue no other book has tackled. For the first time, a woman with cancer tells how friends and family can help. Usually, it's the medical profession telling patients with cancer what to do or telling their families how to help. In this book, Hope shares her down-to-earth examples and humorous stories. A lung cancer survivor and Emmy Award-winning documentary film producer, Hope tells people like me how not to help -- from overreacting to the diagnosis (I've done this) to saying, "whatever you need, let me know" (I've done this, too). Now, I have a context in which to help those many friends of mine who have lived with cancer. Instead of asking a global, "what do you need?" I learned from Hope's book to ask instead, "can I bring over dinner tonight?" "would you like to go for a walk?" or "may I do those dishes for you?" and "I'd be happy to take you to chemo treatments once a month...what day works for you?" I learned a lot, not just about helping friends with cancer, but about really helping.

Beautiful and Necessary

Help Me Live is a beautiful and a necessary book. If you don't need it now, you are going to need it sooner or later, because, sadly, all of us are touched by cancer before long. I knew that Lori Hope was working on this book, and I asked her for an advance copy when my best friend was hospitalized with what the doctors first thought was a brain tumor. Although this friend and I had been having what seemed like an unbroken conversation for thirty years, I did not know how to talk with him about his cancer. Lori Hope's book walked me through that, like an understanding friend by my side, gently warning me about things not to say, gently encouraging me about things to be sure to say. Far more than a list of dos and don'ts, Help Me Live is a testament to its author's own experience and the experiences of the many people she interviewed in the course of writing it. Deeply personal and honest, courageous and understanding, and filled with stories of grace under the most trying of circumstances, this book should be in every household, in every doctor's waiting room, in every hospital gift-shop. Read it. And tell your friends about it.

This is the absolute best book out there for caregivers and friends!

Wow, what an amazing book. I had breast cancer two years ago, and vowed I'd never pick up another book on cancer. A friend told me about this and it sat unread for a month in my room. When I finally picked it up, I literally couldn't put it down. I wept and laughed and howled out loud. Lori Hope put into words for me so many things I had gone through and expressed them so perfectly. This book allowed me to finally let go and grieve and know that I was far from alone in my feelings. This is a must read for anyone who knows anyone with cancer. Though it's not written for cancer "patients", personally it was a blessing and a gift and has lifted my spirits.

An Extraordinary Book.

I have had my fair share of cancer battles. In hindsight, there were some battles that I won, and some battles that I lost. I am confident I have won my own personal war against this life-altering disease. Society has a label for someone like me: `A Survivor'. Though the terminology might be appropriate to a degree, I do not think of myself as `A Survivor', but rather a person who has been given a fair share of blessings because I had to my own cancer fights. I consider my self `A Conqueror'. Hard to imagine? Then you should think again. My cancer battles helped me evolve as a person, made me a more enlightened soul, one who appreciates each and every moment I have here. Unfortunately, too many people forget this. My point in sharing this little history of mine is so that you know I am not a single event cancer fighter, but a multiple event Conqueror! Saying all of this, if you or a person close to you is fighting the big `C', then I cannot express to you the significance of Lori Hope's book Help Me Live: 20 Things People with Cancer Want You to Know. This is more than a must read . . . the advice and perspective Ms. Hope shares thru her book is, and again, I cannot express this enough, essential to the recovery process for not only the person who is physically fighting this dreaded disease, but also the entire support group of family and friends, who too are fighting this disease through their support of the cancer victim. As a `Conqueror' herself, Lori was wise in her writing style for this book. Filled with a sense of ease, grace, and lots of humor, this book shouts out with pragmatic optimism that every individual involved with the `C' war will appreciate. You will find yourself after reading this book, regardless if you are the physical victim, or part of a support group, filled with optimism and a certain sense of clarity. The funny thing is that I said to myself after reading this book (my book is now filled with so many notes), `why is it that a person has to go thru this stuff to be able to see that the trees have beautiful leaves, and I better take a look at them?" This is simply put an invaluable book, one not just for those that are fighting any type of medical issue, but in many ways a guide to how we should interact with one another. I would like to personally thank the author for writing this much needed book. Reviewed by Peter Senese. Author and `Conqueror'.