Help Is Not a Four-Letter Word: Why Doing It All Is Doing You in

by Deborah Saverance and Peggy Collins

Self-imposed stress and its related health risks are popular topics, especially in women's magazines, with articles on how to carve out time for oneself and how to beat stress and anxiety. This book... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 007147790X
• ISBN13: 9780071477901
• Release Date: December 2006
• Publisher: McGraw-Hill Companies
• Length: 193 Pages
• Weight: 0.75 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 6.5" x 8.4"

Customer Reviews

It really is OK to ask for help

I am a high "A" personality ... while that's not a bad thing, it does cause me to think that I actually must complete a task for it to be done correctly! However, after meeting Peggy, experiencing her presentation and then reading her book, I've discovered that I really DON'T have to do everything myself and that YES, it is okay to ask for help. In fact, it is imperative to the quality of my life, and the quality of life of others around me, for me to ask for help. And, after asking for help, to accept that they will handle things differently than me and that that is just fine. Not only does it help me, but it helps them too. This book and this woman, have given me permission to let go and allow others to help me. This really has been a life changing experience for me.

Help! I need somebody after all...

I was brought up with the notion that to ask for help was 1) impolite since it would be a bother to others 2) a sign of weakness since I was perfectly capable of accomplishing most anything by myself. So, as one who prided herself on independence and self-sufficiency, I would often find myself overwhelmed, angry, stressed, frustrated, and suffering from low self-esteem. One of my greatest strengths (at least from my point of view) became my biggest weakness. This book really opened my eyes and helped me identify for the first time why I felt so helpless. Great information and wisdom on a never-before addressed issue.

Who, Me?

Here's a book that moved me to unaccustomed depths of introspection. Clearly, I am NOT a full-blown self-sufficient as described on these pages. Yet, I was there, sometimes squirming a bit uncomfortably as I became more absorbed in the reading. Those segments that undeniably hit home for me were brought to light for needed examination. There were definitions and symptoms described that fit me like a knitted glove. It was the first time I had taken a good, hard look at a corner of my being that I had largely ignored over the last 80+ years. I was taken with the conversational style of writing and, most of all, the penetrating logic and insights brought to light on a subject seldom given the attention it deserves.

Insist on doing it all? You need to read this book!

Reviewed by Regan Windsor for Reader Views (7/07) There is a rarely-diagnosed condition lurking in the shadows of many. Symptoms include a strong desire to do it all, an aversion to asking for help, and the inability to say no. Are you familiar with these behaviors? Have you seen them in yourself and others around you? Worse yet, are you burning the midnight oil just to stay on top of your commitments? "Help is Not a Four-Letter Word" will save your schedule and, most importantly, your sanity. Labeled "Self-Sufficiency Syndrome," this condition has some unique side effects. It is usually surrounded by praise, strong feelings of accomplishment, promotions, and on the other end, possible exhaustion and a strong feeling of the impossibility of keeping up with it all. What keeps the Self-Sufficient going, what sparks the drive, is the strong sense of accomplishment, a strong feeling of independence and reliance on self. Let's face it - this isn't always a bad thing. It's when the pendulum swings to the end of extreme self-sufficiency, when we find ourselves disconnected, over-committed, and unnecessarily doing it all. "Help is Not a Four-Letter Word" introduces the reader to the signs and symptoms of severe Self-Sufficiency, provides tools for assessing our personal level of Self-Sufficiency, and teaches us how to move from a Self Sufficient to a Sufficient Self. Through case studies, activities, self tests, and action steps, "Help is Not a Four-Letter Word" will provide many of those invaluable "ah ha" moments that catapult us to a new level of understanding and discovery.

Help Is Not a Four Letter Word

I've got everything under control. I don't need help. I've gotten to where I am today through hard work and fortitude. It's easier to do things myself. I don't want to bother anyone. I don't want to look weak or stupid. Sound familiar? If so, Help is Not a Four-Letter Word is likely the book for you. Many of us erroneously believe that we have to go it alone. We try to balance our life filled with responsibilities and obligations and for the most part appear to be pretty successful doing so. We often take great pride in this image despite that hidden under that façade is a person who feels overwhelmed and completely alone. Help is Not a Four-Letter Word gently guides the reader to a place where he or she can ask for help when needed. The authors themselves have suffered from this affliction so they completely understand the reader's underlying fears of appearing weak, not knowing how to ask for help, and worries about becoming dependent. Several of the chapters in this book even include question and answer sections that examine those really difficult aspects that we all want to know but were afraid to ask. If you find yourself unable to ask for support when you need it most, be sure to pick up a copy of Help is Not a Four-Letter Word.