My life was in order until a bikini-clad trespasser decided to take a dip in my hot tub in the middle of a cold winter night. So I asked her to be my fake girlfriend. She's house-sitting next door, got locked out, and decided the best way to stay warm was to sit in my hot tub. (I'm not sure how the hard cider she pilfered out of my outdoor fridge fit into her plan...) From the beginning, my temporary next-door neighbor...