For Fidelity: How Intimacy and Commitment Enrich Our Lives

by Catherine M. Wallace

Book Overview

[Wallace] makes an eloquent case for sexual fidelity" (The New Yorker) in this book that presents marriage as an art and a spiritual exercise. Drawing inspiration from both contemporary psychology and... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0375400796
• ISBN13: 9780375400797
• Release Date: February 1998
• Publisher: Alfred A. Knopf
• Length: 172 Pages
• Weight: 0.90 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 5.9" x 8.7"

Customer Reviews

Must Read for parents and anyone who works with teens!

I was assigned this book to read, and wasn't looking forward to it because the I thought it sounded kind of dull or heady. WAS I WRONG! My personal copy is underlined and there are notes everywhere. I bought 7 other copies to give to friends and family. Anyone who has children, or who works with children or teens, should read this book. The author shares her wisdom about sex education really needing to be about so much more than sex: friendship, intimacy, committment, many things we can talk about when our children are very young, and then they will be ready to understand a sexual relationship as something that is bigger than just sex.

Meaningful

It is a rare book that manages to be intellectually stimulating and spiritually satisfying. This is one of those books. Wallace occasionally goes almost to the edge of being too academic or too religious, but redeems herself by meaningful, thought-provoking ideas about what it really means to be sexually faithful: to love one another as whole human beings, to never treat anyone as a commodity to be used, to teach kids about ethics and friendship rather than simply telling them "you'll get AIDS" or "you'll go to hell." These are some of the ideas that give true meaning and value and purpose to our lives, far beyond mere pleasure or avoidance of pain. Wallace manages to stay out of the mainstream without actually attacking it. Read this book if you long to believe that monogamy is the way to go and need some intelligent, loving reasons to back up your opinion.

If she could convince me....

This is, without question, the most wonderful book on the subject I've ever read. She is so eloquent in her prose and so lucid in her pattern of thought that I was, quite honestly, taken totally by surprise.I, coming from a failed union, had embraced an 'open marriage' with a fervor. This book has been the only one to actually explain why and how my old life was a dead end. While she does mention God every now and then, most of the comments are toward the end of the book -- long after the punchy arguments you're looking for are made. Any faith-based writing on her part is totally set aside. In other words, you can fully skip over it if you like. The important points totally stand on their own, without mention of religion.I had read "Passionate Marriage" by David Schnarch -- long considered to be the Bible on the subject of passion and marriage. I hated it. It didn't speak to me. Where that book has the reader listening to other people's psychological problems and forcing you to try and extrapilate the point, "For Fidelity" tells you the point straight out: no allegory, no BS.The author has a Ph.D (I think in English) -- and man does it show in the writing of the book.

I recommend it! Funny, engaging, theologically rigorous.

For Fidelity was a superb text for Religion, Family and Ethics a course I taught at the Lexington Theological Seminary, Lexington, KY. Funny, engaging and theologically rigorous, Fidelity provoked expansive conversation and soul-filled thinking. Sex was never treated like this during my graduate school days!

It sees both sexuality and fidelity as blessings

As a person who has done sexuality education with people of all ages over the past 25 years, I welcome this book that is framed in a discussion of the nurture and transmission of moral tradition. Not because it is a how-to manual for parents, but rather because of its examination of why this is important for children and adults alike, straight or gay. The author sees our sexuality as a blessing, and includes an excellent trip through Western Christian ideas about sexual feelings and reproduction to help us recognize the unexamined assumptions that lead to inappropriate guilt. In fact, the whole book is built on the concept of blessing from love, intimacy, parenthood, and even, when necessary, divorce. This does not mean that she does not understand the stresses and strains that come from living together in the real world, along with the challenges of raising children, and working together as we and the world around us change over time. She has written a book from real life experience that celebrates sexuality and morality together. It provides a rich resource for thoughtful parents and adults.