For Better, for Worse: British Marriages, 1600 to the Present

by John R. Gillis

Book Overview

The history of marriage is commonly thought of as an evolution from cold, impersonal arrangements to new, more affectionate and egalitarian forms of conjugality. For Better, For Worse, the most comprehensive treatment to date of the history of marriage in a major Western society, presents a radically different perspective on both past and present marriages. Using fresh evidence from popular courtship and wedding rites since the 17th century, John...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0195045564
• ISBN13: 9780195045567
• Release Date: February 1988
• Publisher: Oxford University Press, USA
• Length: 432 Pages
• Weight: 0.75 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 5.3" x 8.0"

Customer Reviews

Enthralling history of matrimony

This fascinating book gives a detailed account of how marriage and attitudes towards marriage have changed from the sixteenth century to the present (actually 1985, when the book was published). It's divided into four parts. The first part of the book is about marriage in the 16th and 17th centuries. People tended to get married in their late twenties, waiting in the case of peasants until they could aquire some land of their own through inheritence or gift, and in the case of artisans until they could set up their own business. Bethrothals were virtually as binding as the actual wedding, and sometimes couples would sleep together before they were married. Marriage customs were very different from those we consider 'traditional' today. The custom was for the bridegroom and his friends to go to the bride's house to fetch her (sometimes she would be barricaded into her house and they would have to break in). Parents had little to do with the actual wedding, which was generally left to the peer group. The bride was given away by her brother or friends rather than by her father. After marriage customs were much rowdier than today as well. The bride and groom were likely to be pelted with shoes or even hassocks rather than the more refined rice which became popular later, and their way home would be abbred until they paid a toll. The race for the bride's garter was another popular feature (the winner got to take the garter off afterwards).In Cornwall, the bride and groom could be beaten with stockings full of sand. Once married, a couple had a new and important status in society, especially the bridegroom who became a householder and had authority over his wife, children and servants, and a much higher standing in the community than he would have as a single man. Most people lived in close-knit communities where their behaviour was monitored by their neighbours, and people who transgressed the rules of society could be sanctioned. Mr Gillis writes: "The husband ruled supreme, but he was not an absolute monarch. The wedding had not only established the standards by which a marriage was to be governed, but mandated a public to enforce them. A brutal or philandering husband was subject to the same sanctions as a scolding or adulterous wife. And, while couples were urged to treat one another with kindness and respect, this was not a society so naive as to rely on affection as the sole guarantee of fair treatment." Part TWo: 1750-1850 describes how the patterns of marriage changed as society changed. Enclosures meant a decline in the number of people who could hope to won their own land, and the waning power of the Guilds meant that fewer people could set up independent businesses. Many people now had a future of working for wages all their lives, and therefore no incentive to wait for independence before marriage. People started getting married younger and having children younger, since more wage earners in the family were always useful.