First Impressions: What You Don't Know about How Others See You

by Ann Demarais and Valerie White

Book Overview

What kind of first impression do you make? A first impression is the most important impression you'll ever make--and you get only one chance to make it. Business deals can be made or broken, first dates become second dates or not, friendships are created or fail to form; everything hinges on that all-important initial encounter. And yet most of us don't know how we're really seen by others. Many of us don't know how to make a good impression. Wouldn't...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0553382012
• ISBN13: 9780553382013
• Release Date: March 2005
• Publisher: Bantam
• Length: 256 Pages
• Weight: 0.59 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 6.1" x 9.1"

Customer Reviews

Useful observations about a topic I had not thought about

You may be looking for a new job and are facing the unnerving prospect of numerous interviews. Perhaps you are looking for a soul mate. Or maybe you have a meeting with an important new client. Like it or not, in each of these cases the first impression you give to others will go a long way towards determining whether you will succeed or fail in what it is you are trying to accomplish. "First Impressions" is not the sort of book I would generally read. But given the fact that I find myself in one of the above situations I thought it might be a useful read. Indeed it was! Ann Desmarais and Valerie White give the reader plenty of food for thought in this thought provoking and entertaining book. The heart and soul of this book are what the authors describe as "The Seven Fundamentals of a First Impression." How accessable am I? Am I willing to open myself up to the other person? Do I show genuine interest in what the other person has to say or is the conversation all about me? Can I add interesting topics to the conversation? Do others percieve me as distant and withdrawn or do they find interaction with me interesting and engaging? These are just a few of the fascinating questions discussed here. In addition, there are a series of extremely useful exercises designed to help the reader see where they stack up on these issues. At the end of the day, just about everyone regardless of their station in life could glean some useful information from this book. Whether the lessons learned here assists you in making that better first impression yourself, or perhaps makes you a bit more forgiving when someone else stumbles and leaves a bad taste in your mouth, it should prove to be most helpful. A surprisingly good book. Highly recommended.

Boosted my social confidence starting a new job

I bought this book about a month before starting a new job and it completely changed my approach to meeting people. It gave me confidence in social situations where previously I'd been very stand-offish, shy or awkward. I actually "worked the room" at an all-staff party held the week I started my job. Not only did I feel confident, I actually had a blast at an event that I normally would've hated. I wish I'd read this book in college because it might've changed my whole social and career path. It gives concrete examples of how to approach people and what to talk about. It lets you see how some of your current behavior, which you may think is benign, actually works to portray you negatively to others. It's informative but not patronizing. The most important thing I got from this book was the definition of "charisma." I think we'd all like to be more charismatic! I never thought that term would apply to me, but now that I understand how charisma works I believe I'm getting the hang of it. This is an easy to read, entertaining and informative book that I recommend to anyone who'd like to feel more confident in any social situation.

Abosolutely a must read

No matter what your lot in life is if you want to hold your end in a conversation you need to read this book.Whether your at a party and having casual talk, having a business meeting or a first date even if you think you are a great talker this will help. The book shows how to start a conversation all the way to the end it shows how body langauge affects peoples view of you along with other aspects and how they affect your conversation everything as the flow the topics you talk about and even how sex appeal has bearing on it. At the end of each chapter there is a checklist that you can fill out to see what areas you may need to work on.These methods seem pretty sensible and must work as the two ladies who have written this book have a consulating business observing people and how they handle conservation.This will be one of those books that you will keep handy on your bookshelf and refer back to again and again. I definitely recommend this book

Great information, intelligently packaged

I am a psychologist and business coach and I found this book right on the mark: it gives excellent, practical advice for making a positive first impression. There are many such "how-to" books on the market, but this one stands out for the quality of its writing and its reliance on the research literature in social psychology and interpersonal effectiveness. It reads as an intelligent, but not overly pedantic or dry guide to making the most of one's personal assets in any new situation.

How To Win Friends and Influence People - From the Get-Go

This is the most practical and thorough book I've ever read about the crucial first encounter with a person. The only other book on the subject of relationships that I got as much out of is Dale Carnegie's "How To Win Friends and Influence People". But "First Impressions" is about getting off on the right foot, and it does a great job of explaining just how to do it.It seems that a ton of books pay lip service as to WHY the first impression is so important. But then none of them go on for more than a page or two to explain WHAT to do about it. Have you ever read a REALLY GOOD analysis of what's happening during that first conversation? I hadn't -- not until I read this book.I bought this book because I wanted to improve my "meeting people" skills. I found that the book applied to business encounters, dating, interviewing, and virtually any time I want to make a good impression with someone I'm meeting for the first time. I don't have a high opinion of many self-help books because too often they turn out to be only simplistic, common-sense anecdotes. But this book is different. It is a thorough, readable, practical guide about how to successfully begin a social or business relationship, and I whole-heartedly recommend it.