Family Estrangements: How They Begin, How to Mend Them, How to Cope with Them

by Barbara LeBey

Book Overview

Mending the Ties That Bind Divorce; disputes over inheritances, family business, or elder care. Rifts over marriage partners, career choices, or sexual orientation--these are just some of the many ways that even close families can break apart. Yet this all-too-common and often devastating family problem, and its emotional fallout, has gone virtually unaddressed...until now. In this remarkable book, Barbara LeBey, an Atlanta attorney and former judge,...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0553381962
• ISBN13: 9780553381962
• Release Date: January 2003
• Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
• Length: 288 Pages
• Weight: 0.70 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 5.9" x 9.2"

Customer Reviews

THE FIRST BOOK ON ESTRANGEMENTS

This book is intended for the benefit of those who sincerely want to mend an estrangement. The point of the book was never to present both sides of the discord, but to help those who wanted to reconnect. Unfortunately, my daughter-in-law, in an obsessive effort to control my son, severed his relationship with his family, and continues to prevent his family from having any contact with their two daughters. This cruel daughter-in-law has been tireless in her recruitment of people willing to write negative reviews of my book. First, she hurt me and my entire family by causing this unnecessary estrangement, then she prevented her own children from having the love of paternal grandparents, aunt and uncles. And now, she blames the book for the estrangement when it was the five year estrangement that served as a catalyst for the book. The stories and guidelines presented in FAMILY ESTRANGEMENTS will provide you with a road map to lead you back to your loved one.

A Necessary Book

I have read almost every book on this subject of family estrangements, and this is the first one that gave me the necessary tools to mend my estrangement with my brother. Instead of beating him over the head with the reason for our three year disconnect, I bought tickets to a kids' play and met him there with his kids and my kids. The children were so happy to be together that my brother forgot to be angry with me for not backing him one hundred percent during his divorce. This book was the magic I needed. It straight out said "don't rehash" and find something you and your estranged relative can do together besides talk. Brilliant!

Great Suggestions

I used the author's suggestions to mend an estrangement that I have had with my sister. We hadn't spoken for nearly five years. I arranged to see her at a family event, never raised the issue of dissent, smiled, told her how much I missed her and asked her to forgive me for being unkind. I never really knew what it was that triggered the estrangement, but decided an apology must me in order. She tried to ignore me, but I then asked her to go to a play with me. I said we would just sit next to each other for a few hours and see what came next. To my surprise she accepted. We are now on speaking terms, and hopefully will be seeing each other more in the future. This wonderful book, Family Estrangements, taught me how to break the ice. What a good book! I highly recommend it. The author's stories are all told from the perspective of the one who wanted to mend the estrangement, hence they may appear one-sided, but that was obviously not the author's intention. The people who mended their estrangements did so with a myriad of good techniques. Use them and get back your loved one.

A Great Self-Help Book

Though I am not usually a fan of self-help books, this one is chock full of great tips for opening a closed door. Though the subject is heartfelt and serious, the author has added just the right amount of humor particularly in her titles and sub-titles to make the book a pleasure to read. For anyone who needs to learn how to find the way home, read this book cover to cover. There's so much good stuff in every chapter regardless of the reason for your estrangement.

Best Self-Help Book

I've never read a self-help book that offered so much help without preaching, so much hope without patronizing, and the kind of wisdom and insight that is at once comforting (you are not alone) and enlightening (full of fascinating information). You will learn all about the dynamics that go into creating family rifts. You will read heartbreaking stories of estrangements and heartwarming stories of how many of these decade-long rifts finally mended. Barbara LeBey's wise and comforting words were borne of her own personal estrangement with her son and she immediately reaches out to the reader because she's been there herself. There are also some compelling early chapters that vividly and intelligently explain why and how family estrangements went on the increase during the last 40 years and continue to dramatically escalate. LeBey puts this information in historical perspective so that we have the added dimension of understanding the evolution of these unhappy changes within a family. But above all, through the true and poignant stories that she relates (from the many people she interviewed), I took great comfort in realizing that I can go about mending an estrangement in my own family. Barbara LeBey has given me the tools with which to do it.