It's simple: Noah Peterson and I are enemies. Our fellow teachers know it, our friends know it-even the Starbucks drive-through lady knows it since every Monday she scrawls the name A. Hole for me on Noah's cappuccino when I pick up the weekly group order. The shrill whine of the school bell announces the start of each day's no-holds-barred grudge match. Since neither of us is looking to get fired or thrown in prison, we war with...