Don't Divorce Your Children

by William A.H. Sammons and Jennifer M. Lewis

Book Overview

Millions of American children are living with divorced or separated parents. Those who maintain a close relationship with both mother and father--despite the potential conflicts involved-stand the... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0809227932
• ISBN13: 9780809227938
• Release Date: July 1999
• Publisher: McGraw-Hill Companies
• Length: 270 Pages
• Weight: 0.95 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.7" x 6.0" x 8.9"

Customer Reviews

This book will change how you see your divorce!!

This is an excellent book!. It is easy to understand and helps you to see your divorce through the eyes of your children in a way that few books can. I heard it said once before "when going through a divorce always remember to love your children more than you hate your ex" and this book reinforces that theory. Our children didn't ask for any of this and what we do will ultimately impact their happiness and joy for the rest of their lives. I no longer say anything negative about my ex if my children are in the room, in the house, or even down the street. It's just not worth the risk and I don't discuss any of our problems or complain if money is tight. When I talk of their dad it is always in a positive light and even if he doesn't do the same I don't care. I never want them to feel like any of this is their fault because children tend to blame divorce on themselves, something I thought was a myth until it happened to me. The question I ask myself constantly now is "will this decision or statement promote good will and is it fair" and if the answer is no I do not do it. Love this book!

Filled with wise insights, I'd give it five purple stars!

Don't Divorce Your Children honors the children of divorce and offers practical ideas on how to handle real life challenges. It describes anecdotal situations in a diary format and discusses how to handle them so that the relationship between parents and children are strengthened. The chapters are in an easy to read format that allows you to zero in on a situation that matches your own.As a step-mother, this has been a very helpful guide to me when confronted with the negativity and unhappiness of my husband's ex-wife and how her manipulative behaviors effect the children and add stress to the transition between her home and ours. It helps me to be supportive of the children and of my husband at the same time. The book is filled with wise insights, comfort, and good counsel. It has been a lifesavor through the journey as the children have grown older and established their own identities. While their parents have been divorced for 8 years and the children are now young teens, each stage has taken on a new nuance, and this book has helped my husband and me to maintain a sense of humor and connectedness as a family. It sometimes takes a lot of emotional energy on the part of parents and children to work through these solutions, and this guide has given us permission to remain firm in being actively involved in the children's lives (even if their mother wishes we would move to another planet.)A consistent and helpful approach is provided no matter what age your children are or whether your divorce is new or long-standing. This is a book worth buying and reading again and again as you encounter new and different situations.

Empowering both parents and children

Children don't share our perspectives. Developmentally they have very different needs than the adults in their lives. Divorce can rock even the firmest foundation we have given them. This book gives parents the ablility to seek simple solutions from different perspectives. Answers that were easy, can get more complicated with divorce and it is refreshing to find solutions that use common sense, and place not winning or losing but succeeding as the goal, The authors, understand both children and parent needs, and the importance of building good relationships for all involved. I highly recommend this book, I have had opportunities to put the authors' guidelines to use and they work - for both parents and children, empowering all involved.

good common sense for parents, takes on tough issues

Just like your divorce, you probably won't like everything in this book, because no matter who you are, you can't help using the kids somehow to act out your own issues with your soon to be ex. This book really takes on the specific issues that effect children, so if you are serious about wanting to spare them long lasting problems as much as possible, read this book and pay attention to what it says.